Thank you so very much in providing/sharing these questions and answers. They are so so helpful to me. I'm sure I'm not the only person wanting to know those questions. I truly appreciate it very much! Teresa S.
Freqflyer- I said if the word ASSISTED is in the name of the MC facility...as a MC Resident declines to bed bound, unable to feed themselves, or act in a way such as uncontrollable screaming (which by the way, makes life hell for other residents and staff) they need to be moved to a full scale nursing facility. They need an RN on staff that can medicate them to control their hours of screaming. ASSISTED anything is not required, and DO NOT IMPLEMENT PROCEDURES to do range of motion movements to all limbs of bedbound residents; thereby rendering these poor people stiff as a board and contorted into ungodly positions, which in case you didn't know is EXTREMELY PAINFUL. Hospice does NOTHING for that EITHER. Hospice comes and packs u.healable bedsores that go bone deep, they disimpact the poor contorted, basically abused individuals because they become impacted from no movement whatsoever. The ASSISTED facility will gladly take your check every month but no human being deserves the treatment they will endure until they finally die. Harsh but real talk. If your loved one is in a facility with RNs on staff 24/7 then BRAVO for you, you picked a great facility. If they do not have RNs on staff 24/7 and your loved one becomes bed bound, then you, just like all the other people in denial, are free to think whatever it is that helps you sleep at night, and pray that God forgives you when your time is up.
For anyone else who is reading this and worried about ALF's, or is feeling put down or distressed by these remarks, please know that while some places are not good at taking care of frail elderly people, and may indeed ignore bedsores or even be abusive to the residents, they are not all like that. The one my parents live in does not have 24/7 nurses, but the caregiving staff is excellent, and they don't let my folks suffer wth even a diaper rash, let alone bedsores. The only thing you can do as a family member is investigate the place thoroughly, visit as often as you possibly can, and build enough rapport with the caregivers that they'll tell you when something is going on. An ALF isn't automatically good or bad, but like a lot of places, it's what you make of it.
It's all about the money, and how much these places can make on these patients. One thing to add to your assessment, when the loved one dies, the AL/NH will "forget" not only the family of the loved one, but the loved one, themselves, unless there is still money owed.
Helpermom- Problem is there are many more bad, than good, and the good either have no space available, and/or have a waiting list. So a concerned caregiver has very little choice, especially if the loved one can't wait, to go with a lower rated facility.
I kinda wish society was more oriented toward Helping Communities. I don't mean "services" via The State. That, I believe, is turning The State into The Parent Who Knows Better. As far as I am concerned, as soon as The State via Your Doctor Knows Better, we are all in very serious trouble as a society. Sadly, it's headed straight in that direction. I personally am hoping we can return to Communties that really care for each other, neighborhoods where neighbors aren't at each other's throats, nor hostile, but inclusive, loving, and helpful. Why should the care of elders be on the shoulders of one or two family members when there is a whole block, or whole building, or church group, or town that can help out so we wont need to put old people away in Old People Ghettoes anymore. Just a thought. Can this become reality?
Well, yes, they did. Except when they ostracised each other, excommunicated each other, knifed/hanged/burned/drowned/branded each other...
My neighbours' house has a special kitchen window, larger than usual, which opens inwards. This was originally designed to be the alms window, from where bread was distributed to people who had no other recourse (17th century, long before workhouses). That way a) you didn't have to let them into the building and b) you didn't have to come into physical contact with them. But bubonic plague was popular in those days, so you can't blame the charity workers of the time for being a bit jumpy.
Walt Whitman said "what we call progress is merely the exchange of one nuisance for another nuisance." The reverse - that the virtues we hark back to were in a context that we definitely don't - is also true.
Oh right. The Good Old Days. When you had tk be among the "deserving poor" to be helped by Lady Bountiful characters. Read Angela's Ashes, or A Square Meal, recently published, about relief efforts during the Great Depression.
The whole idea of "people taking care of each other" is posited on the assumption that half the population ( women) are not engaged in paid employment. We're not going back there, folks. Nor should we.
Issues? In the Middle Ages? No, really? When folks with epilepsy were thought to be possessed and burnt at the stake? Do you really want a short history of how the poor, indigent, insane and elderly were treated in the Middle Ages in Great Britain and Europe?
Z, I'd really like to know where your information about Medieval times comes from. I'd be happy to learn from some primary source material that shows that ALL folks with disabilities/ old age/poverty were better off relying upon private, individual charity than those populations are now with Governmental assistance programs that are administered without regard to color, morals or diability.
The problem with the public welfare system is that the System is designed to keep the poor poor, the incarcerated incarcerated, homeless people chonically homeless, and the mental patients turned into Revolving Door Syndromes. The System will not function without its loyal customers returning again and again. So therefore, it is made to please, made to satisfy, not cure. God forbid not cure! Or else it'll lose its customer base. So we have waiting rooms full of dependent patients who worship their "expert" doctors who know better, the State who knows better, the government who knows better, and suddenly, we are sick and in pain and wonder why on earth we've lost touch with our own bodies, our own selves, and we have forgotten what makes us tick. I often tell people (if they are willing to listen) to take back their minds, bodies, and souls from the medical/governmental establishment and take back ownership of them. Your doctor doesn't know best. That's the biggest myth going. You know yourself better. Take your body back before they steal your rights to it.
Z, I can empathize with what you're staying, and I don't doubt that this has been your experience, however, it's not been mine. We had to choose between two different buildings with high quality care that had vacancies when our parents needed an ALF. Maybe it's a question of where you live? Or just timing. When we recently had to move them to a smaller apartment there were only very small units available. Luck of the draw, I suppose. Wishing you well.
Thank you. Mom has passed, 99% of the AL/NH are Medicare rated 3 stars and lower. There is only one 5 star rated one. Ironically, or not, the last AL she was at, bragged about being 5 star rated when it came to Quality measures. Guess, what? They've lost a star and have taken down all the signs that bragged about their 5 star rating. You were fortunate and lucked out. I wish you well as well.
Teresa S.
I see. Some older people would go "stir crazy" if they had to be indoors all the time.
Oh well, then it's a different ball game.
It's all about the money, and how much these places can make on these patients. One thing to add to your assessment, when the loved one dies, the AL/NH will "forget" not only the family of the loved one, but the loved one, themselves, unless there is still money owed.
My neighbours' house has a special kitchen window, larger than usual, which opens inwards. This was originally designed to be the alms window, from where bread was distributed to people who had no other recourse (17th century, long before workhouses). That way a) you didn't have to let them into the building and b) you didn't have to come into physical contact with them. But bubonic plague was popular in those days, so you can't blame the charity workers of the time for being a bit jumpy.
Walt Whitman said "what we call progress is merely the exchange of one nuisance for another nuisance." The reverse - that the virtues we hark back to were in a context that we definitely don't - is also true.
The whole idea of "people taking care of each other" is posited on the assumption that half the population ( women) are not engaged in paid employment. We're not going back there, folks. Nor should we.
Please, educate me.
Thank you. Mom has passed, 99% of the AL/NH are Medicare rated 3 stars and lower. There is only one 5 star rated one. Ironically, or not, the last AL she was at, bragged about being 5 star rated when it came to Quality measures. Guess, what? They've lost a star and have taken down all the signs that bragged about their 5 star rating. You were fortunate and lucked out. I wish you well as well.
Thank you. She's in a better place probably "having a ball" with her loving brother :}