Silverspring, I have the good fortune to be covered for therapy under my health insurance, but if I had to pay for it out of pocket, I'd find a way; I can't imagine going through this without it. It helps me be a lot nicer and fairer - both to my husband and myself.
I am taking care of my husband. Lots of the time, it feels hard and lonely. My husband had a stroke that has left him, a former literary critic and wide reader, unable to read with pleasure; he also is basically bedridden. I am sole caregiver at this point. It is frustrating to have to learn, at this late stage in the game, how to hook up electronics and deal with other such things that never used to be in my purview, while still handling all the things I always did. And for obvious reasons I feel like I can't complain to him, the one person who used to hear my complaints about life's obstacles. Two things get me through: I still have my work (I'm a teacher), which gives me some sense of normal life. And I have an excellent therapist, who understands what it is to have a relationship shift so drastically, how hard it is to no longer be equal partners in a relationship. I can't tell you how much that helps, and I urge you to find someone -- my therapist happens to be a neuropsychiatrist, but a psychologist or counselor or a pastoral care counselor can fill the same role; just find someone you can trust. This forum helps, too. I don't post much, but I listen to the voices here and am grateful to know that others go through similar struggles and rise to challenges and seek and find help. Silverspring, this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and the loss of a steady and steadying partner is -- well, there are no good words for it. But there are still moments of laughter and comfort. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. But you've come to the right place -- the people here are generous and have so much to share. I wish you well --
Good advice. It is very difficult. I really dislike having to be the sole problem solver and I know what you mean about electronics. I find myself muddling through though.
I hate to to spend money on a therapist, but I think it’s time. Sigh.
Good luck.
It is frustrating to have to learn, at this late stage in the game, how to hook up electronics and deal with other such things that never used to be in my purview, while still handling all the things I always did. And for obvious reasons I feel like I can't complain to him, the one person who used to hear my complaints about life's obstacles.
Two things get me through: I still have my work (I'm a teacher), which gives me some sense of normal life. And I have an excellent therapist, who understands what it is to have a relationship shift so drastically, how hard it is to no longer be equal partners in a relationship.
I can't tell you how much that helps, and I urge you to find someone -- my therapist happens to be a neuropsychiatrist, but a psychologist or counselor or a pastoral care counselor can fill the same role; just find someone you can trust.
This forum helps, too. I don't post much, but I listen to the voices here and am grateful to know that others go through similar struggles and rise to challenges and seek and find help.
Silverspring, this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and the loss of a steady and steadying partner is -- well, there are no good words for it. But there are still moments of laughter and comfort.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. But you've come to the right place -- the people here are generous and have so much to share.
I wish you well --
I hate to to spend money on a therapist, but I think it’s time. Sigh.