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It feels like it’s always about being the parent—mom or dad. But this time, it’s me. I’m the one looking for support and direction because I’m on my own. There’s no one left to say sorry to… I’m older now, and I need help too.

I think I'm kind of there too. My mom..whom I was caregiver to...just passed in January. It's realllllly hard.
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Read about Embracing Radical Acceptance. Why accepting things that cannot be changed helps reduce SUFFERING.
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AlvaDeer Mar 25, 2025
I more--atheist I am--go with the Serenity prayer.
That prayer suggests that we must ask for help in accepting what cannot be changed but it ALSO admonishes us to change what can be changed, and finally asks for the wisdom to know the difference.

I am not familiar with radical acceptance. For an instance, we have an OP asking us today how she can handle her hubby with parkinsons, her mom with aging issues, and still work. So if radical acceptance suggests that you have a husband descending into dementia/incontinence/depression, and an elderly mother who needs you while you still must work to support all? Nope.

You can accept that is a FACT, but then you had better get out there and CHANGE what can be changed. Because pure acceptance? Yeah, it will kill you. Then you can accept that death as well, but I do think we are beholden to protect ourselves and those we love, and sometimes to protect ourselves FROM those we love. So I would more say that you need to fight at times, yes, but you need to choose the mountaintop you will die upon, because fighting every little molehill will exhaust you.
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Please stick around!
Welcome to this Forum. Longer you are here the more advice you will find on taking care of yourself, and ways to do it.

I would start by going up to the top of the blue timeline on AgingCare and using the search bar. Type in "Taking Care of Yourself" and up will pop a mess of questions about that already posted on AC. You will have a long library of reading under such searches as "self-care for caregivers" and so on.

Meanwhile, as I said, stick around. Let us know more about you and your situation and we can try to give hints or clues as to what worked for us, and what might work for you.
Again, welcome.
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