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I'm about to re-enter into the world of the "nursing" skilled facility where a loved one could be placed. This loved one was in a facility where , while It wasn't exactly heaven, it sufficed. Decided to try the home environment; and found I am a 24/7 caregiver , which I knew would be the case, BUT not to an extreme. The former facility was not "liked" by siblings, nor the person living there. But I enjoyed both the employees and the food, and the activities. I was there a lot; that seems to be the ONLY way to keep an eye on a loved one. Does anyone else out there agree with me?

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My father had Alzheimer's and when his care became too much for our mother even with my sis and me helping, mom placed him in a skilled nursing facility. The first facility dad was in, we were not happy with as they had rigid rules for the residents to follow in the Alzheimer's unit. Within 6 months,we were able to get him transferred to a facility in our city. They were much more experienced with Alzheimer's and did not have the rigid rules such as breakfast by 7am. They worked more with the residents, my dad was happier and so were we.

Fast forward 11 years after our father passed away, our mom is now in a memory care unit. Breakfast is at 9am...very flexible schedule. Activities at both facilities, etc. Mom does not need skilled nursing care and when dad was placed, we had no memory care facilities in our area.

Both places have their short comings but over all, the care received was good where dad was placed and excellent where mom is living. There is no facility that is going to provide the one on one care that a parent will get at home by a family member, but....by being involved with your loved ones care, being there 2-3 times a week spending time, checking on their care and being appreciative, thankful all goes a long way in keeping the caregivers aware of your presence. We make sure we thank them, we send flowers, bring in cookie platters for all the caregivers. Communication as always is very important and understanding that the caregiver is not just caring for you parent but for others as well so if you tell them you have an appointment at 9:30 am and you want your loved one ready to go....make sure you show up 30 minutes or more before the appointment because unexpected issues can happen that prevents the caregivers from having your parent all sparkling ready. You may have to brush their hair and get their shoes on or even change their shirt after breakfast. Yes being there and having your presence noted that you are there often, helps because they then know you care.
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Is a skilled facility all that bad? I suppose some are.

The nursing home my mother is in seems a very good fit for her. She is well cared for, goes to lots of activities, loves the food, and her daughters visit nearly every day. She is content.
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I have to agree with the idea of the siblings. I;m all for working with staff; typically as we all know, they are overworked and underpaid and usually the most caring if they can get a bit of extra help. thanks for the comments .
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I haven't found a 'perfect' facility, but there are many good facilities out there. When looking for a facility check their state survey results which should be available for you to review. Visit the facility without calling first, go at different times in the day and go during a meal. Contact your local long term care ombudsman, he/she will have what to look for in a facility and can assist you by answering any questions you may have. It really doesn't matter if siblings like a facility or not, what is really important is that your loved one likes being there. No one really wants to go into a home, but when it's necessary, then they should find an enjoyable place. If your loved one enjoys certain activities, then look at their activity calendars. Check out the menu's and remember you can always ask for reasonable food substitutions. It's good you were able to visit frequently and most facilities encourage that. Talk with staff, residents and other family members while you are scouting out a new facility. This will give you an idea of how well the residents enjoy their stay.
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I totally agree with you. Ignore the Idiot siblings. If they won't put up, they should shut up. Either THEY take her, or she goes back to the NH.
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Give a Hug anywhere out western suburbs of Chicagoland? Always helps to know where someone is living. Thanks.
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