My mother is of sound mind, and is not dying, nor with dementia, and is a relatively youthful 72. She has Multiple Sclerosis which has left her with a host of problems, but she still retains some mobility. She has some separate mental health issues as well. She and my father are in denial about the danger she is in.
The pressing issue right now is a severe bowel related issues for which she needs surgery and has put it off for a year while making herself increasingly sicker and eroding whatever quality of life is remaining. She has finally agreed to have the surgery, but will not meet with the surgeon until next Friday. Until then, my father has her on a diet of clear liquids because she has started having intense pain from eating. He did not speak to a doctor about this, and because of her MS symptoms something this jarring to her system could make recovery worse, plus I worry about her having 300 calories a day for 10 days prior to going in for surgery.
She had been taking laxatives or Miralax to manage her symptoms, and was recently in the hospital for three nights with dangerously low sodium levels (she can stroke from this). I just feel that he is being incredibly negligent by not calling a doctor to discuss what is going on (including the new symptoms of pain from eating)
We had terrible fights while I was visiting and for sure did not handle myself in the best possible manner, in truth I cannot take watching my mother be so self-destructive and flippant about her health. This has been going on for many years, the denial, and the not listening to doctors, but she's in her 70's now and she does not recover from these episodes the way she once did. My father is at his wits end with my mother but she really wears the pants in that relationship. I tried to get my brother to reason with my father about the seriousness of this, but I feel that no one wants to hear it from me. I went through this 5 years ago with them, where everyone said I was over reacting and let my mother call the shots, until basically she was in bed for three months and it probably took her almost a year to get her mobility back to where it had been before she got sick.
I know I don't handle this well, and I want to step back and stop being a nuisance, but I am really worried about my mother. I know this is long, thanks for reading-- if you have any advice I would really appreciate it.