How do I introduce a home care aide to my mother and help her accept it? -

How do I introduce a home care aide to my mother and help her accept it?


I want some one there during the day who can give her lunch and company. She's afraid of the expense, but she can afford it. I have put this off for a long time because she is set against it and still has enough cognitive ability to take care of herself but all she does now is sleep and eats very little. I'm taking her to a geriatrician this week to see what he says about this. It's been going on for a couple of months now. In a way there's nothing for an aide to do for her except feed her, if she'll eat.

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It took me a year to get my mother to make the decision to bring in outside help. It took alot of boundaries and distancing on my part. I live an hours drive away and work and she thought she could rely on me totally. I did not force the issue nor would I take the responsibilty to make the decision for her. She is capable of making her own decisions and can afford to pay for some of her care. There was a lot of guilt on my part, but no more and she is becoming a better person in making her own decisions.
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One of the charges I care for gets upset on occasion that I am there... my main duties are to do her meds and make sure she has food in the house.... she is in the first stages of Alz..... but her Dr. recommened this... the sister got the Dr. to write a letter saying she was unable to do certain things without help.... now if she gets started on that, I have a copy I take out of my purse and let her read... she still doesn't always like it... but it seems to make a difference when we show her, not just tell her, what the dr. said... maybe you can get her Dr. to do the same... sometimes they never accept it... I worked for one lady for 2 1/2 years, and she resented my presence every single day,,, but was doing what needed to be done... prayers for compliance so you won't worry...
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I had some aides temporarily. Some she liked, some she didn't. First, consider going thru reputable care agency who is bonded, insured and does background checks. Good ones will meet your mom, jointly work with you to determine needs (prepare meals, lite laundry, outings, etc), and have a sound formal contract, pay, subs in case of illness, vacation, etc. Get references and call them!

Another option is to check with your local physician or hospital, some nurses moonlight and will provide care weekends. They may also refer you to retired nurses,etc.

I knew of a church that used to have a "senior bank" where they had companions that came in, prepared meal and ate with the senior, took them out for walks or just watched tv or played cards for the morning and early afternoon.

Good luck.
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