How old are you? Interesting range of ages and situations here has me curious...

riotanga, glad to see this resurface, as I responded almost two years ago. FYI I've survived my daughter's move back home with my then 2year-old grandaughter. It was a tough and chaotic adjustment made harder by my inflexible 86 yrear-old mother. Fortunately my daughter got back on her feet and was able to move out on her own. The next year was fraught with illness - my mother had a heart attack followed six months later by a major respiratory virus, landing her into the ICU for three weeks, and nursing home rehab another three. Outside of the daily trips to see her and all the worry, I was given a much needed six week respite!

In the meantime, my Rheumatoid arthritis kicked back in big time, along with OA, causing degeneration of both knees and then a hip. Stress induced, I am sure. I'm working my way towards health with a knee and hip replacement in the past six months, and the last knee to be done soon.

I am thankful Mother made it through, and life in general is going well. Does that stop the resentment? No. Unless you've walked in a caregiver's shoes you don't understand all that is involved - the stress, the time (doctors, prescription management etc.), the loss of being carefree. My kids resent the situation, too, as we don't have as much 'just us' time anymore. Looking forward I hope to never put them in my shoes as a caregiver. Not sure what I'd do differently, as I am glad to provide a home for my mother - just wish there was more freedom for me.

Well, I was 47 when I quit my job, moved in with Mother in law to take care of her. My husband and I... Although, he got to leave everyday and go to work while I stayed and got so depressed, cried every day! In the meantime my husband was sick and so I hid my depression the best I could b/c he certainly didn't need anymore on him.. We added a room onto our house during all that, my husband had surgery, finally a year and a half later we moved her to our house. That helped a lot to be in my own house, even though still house bound. Then, low and behold, what do we have to do.... move Mama in with us too!!!... in less than a year from coming back home!!!! Mother in law passes away in the summer of 2014, Mama still going strong and driving me absolutely crazy as a Loon!!!!! I'm 55 years old now =(

I'm 42. My mom is 80, in a nursing home with Alzheimer's. I don't so much feel resentful as angry that life can stink, for no reason and little explanation. I have learned and accepted that long ago. My dad died when I was 10, taught me that anything can happen to anyone at any time.

What I feel is furious...and also sad. Furious when I hear people older than I am--with two living parents--complain that their healthy mother did something to annoy them, while I have to sign the book in the nursing home lobby to see mine. And I feel sad that if I have children, they will never know who their grandmother really is, or experience her love. I feel sad that I can't ask my mom for advice when I really need it. If it matters, I've been married for two years.

I am now over 60 and with help of hubby have been caregiving for my father for almost 9 years now. I retired more than 2 years ago - earlier than planned due to stress of trying to manage 90 year old Dad with dementia, 2 households and FT career. I'm still thankful that Dad is here, but am somewhat resentful of the amount of responsibility and lack of personal freedom to enjoy the plans that we had hoped for in our own "Golden Years". We are definitely "stuck" but will make the best of things as long as he is healthy, safe and even occasionally happy, The saddest thing would be if Dad were to outlive both of us!

I'm 59. I'm married with 3 kids; 2 grown and moved out and an almost 18 yr old that I am finishing up homeschooling Sr yr high school (who is on the Autism Spectrum although high functioning and a type 1 diabetic since age 8). Dad is 86 and lives 1/2 hours away. Every one else in my family has died. Mom and two brothers. I feel like you do. I don't necessarily resent having to help dad (he still lives in his home but is coming to the point where he shouldn't). We go to his house every weekend now. I did have resentment when my older brother was still alive because he lived there and did NOTHING to help dad. It's an acre of land with tons of trees (ie leaves!!) and brother didn't bother to help. Not his thing. So he did help dad in other ways but just not with any work. So, now that he is gone everything falls to me and my husband. What I resent is dad's attitude. He doesn't want us doing anything because his pride is damaged. He SAYS he will do it but we know he can't. He has dementia and doesn't have the ability to figure out things anymore. He was in construction and maintenance so that's hard for him now. So, instead of being grateful that we are there to help he just says "Don't do that ! I can do that !" But he can't. I guess his denial is the hard thing.

I am looking forward to September (Lord willing) when I will have my son graduated from high school and that will be off my mind. Then I can focus more on dad. I don't know how long he has to live. If his memory continues to fade he may end up in a memory care facility. What I DO resent is that I have a niece who lives 30 minutes from dad who does nothing to help (my brother's daughter; apple didn't fall far from the tree). She lets dad drive on the 2 lane highway to HER house to visit her (he goes because he's lonely). I had to go to LA to a funeral (Husband's Aunt) and asked her to come to dad's house and make a nice dinner and visit with him. Did she do it? No. So, I have to bite my tongue and not say anything. She does have 2 kids but dad has really helped her out alot so some payback wouldn't hurt.