burnedncaringst Asked May 2011
How can I ensure the safety of my husband's money if he won’t make me the Power of Attorney?
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I take care of the bills and i am consider his representative payee thru his SSD yet our bank says I do not need to be his financial power of attorney. He is easily lulled into tv gimmicks which is unlike him. He get upsets when I tell him he can't and shouldn't be smoking anymore. I am just trying to save money to be able to make rent after the lease is up before renewal.
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What is your objective here? To keep him from ordering stuff from tv? To curb other kinds of spending? Maybe more explanation would trigger a helpful answer from someone who has faced similar circumstances. Even if you had POA I don't see how that would stop him from ordering gimmicks or buying cigarettes.
My husband has dementia. I, of course, take care of all of our financial affairs. Our bills were paid out of the same joint account we've had for more than 35 years. One day he came home from a trip to the science museum with our son, with a shopping bag full of goodies from the gift store. When I go with him I always give him the choice of one thing. Would you like a t-shirt or this book? I didn't think to mention this to our son, and he just let Dad write a check for whatever he wanted. Oops. That was a wakeup call. I took his name off our joint account and opened up a checking account in his name only, with a small balance. He can still write checks but at least there is a limit on how much damage he can do. :) He also doesn't have credit cards anymore. I closed accounts we had used jointly and opened new ones for me. If he tried to order something over the phone he wouldn't have a way to charge it. But these are measures to take with someone who has dementia. I don't know your husband's status.
And smoking is a whole different kettle of fish altogether. It is not good for his health and it is not good for your finances, and I don't think either of those things matter if it isn't his motivation. Does he want to quit? Has he tried any of the quit-smoking programs available?