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We've been caring for my mother now for three months and you'd think it would get easier, but instead it gets worse. She makes daily sarcastic remarks to me, like, You're an Oakie" (because I go barefoot at times), or 'Surprised you're up so early", or "You can't sing, you try thought", or "All you do is play on the computer", etc., etc. blah, blah, blah. I can't stand at times to be in the same room most of the time because it is very hurtful. I don't know that she realizes she shoots out stupid caddy remarks, but I'm pretty tired of it and frankly it makes every day suck! I feel completely trapped.

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Mom has always been one to say cutting remarks to those closest to her. I tell her but she doesn't stop except for a short time. She is getting worse with dementia, but buta lot of it is just her. Sorry. I know it's irritating and upsetting.
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Stop it now. Tell her that her remarks are hurtful and that you wish to be respected.
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I am into caring for my mother now going on a year and a half, it was really awful the first three months, I don't even want to think about how bad and all the terrible things I went through then. It is a huge change for you and her, you both have lost your freedom and independence. Hang in there, time will iron out the mess one way or the other, it sure is not easy.
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Begin with sitting your Mom down and telling her that in order for you to continue to care for her, you need her to monitor what she says to you. Lay the ground rules first in love - Mom, I need to talk to you about some things that may be hard to hear. Before I do that, I want you to promise that you will let me finish and not interrupt. Then, give her those examples above and tell her why they hurt.

I found that as my Mom's dementia was settling in, her filters dropped and she would pop off hurtful comments. Zingers. It got to the point where I would say: "Mom, you are being rude and that is uncalled for" and then I'd remove myself from her presence (mind you, I learned this lesson after countless tearful encounters with her). My mom changed after she finally had a spiritual conversion. Thankfully.
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