Should I install a hidden camera?

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I suspect my father's wife is being verbally abusive, if not somewhat physically abusive to him also. The nurse at the retirement apartment where they live suggested installing a hidden camera, I had the same advice from my personal counselor. I am his DPOA, his ALZ is moderate stage. In talking with my husband we are in agreement that it probably should be done, but are concerned about how to do it without causing her to become more angry. She contends that she can care for him by herself, but the last two times I have been with him in the past two weeks, his hair wasn't combed (also BAD haircut, hadn't trimmed his eyebrows,ear hair or nose hair) which is highly unusual for him as he has always been immaculately groomed. She also never lets him go anywhere with me alone, always insists on coming along. This is a short term marriage-4 years.

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I would seek advice from an eldercare attorney. My feeling is - yes, do install cameras. If there is nothing bad going on, then no one should get upset or hurt when the camera data is looked at. On the other hand, if things are happening - either from the caretaker or the patient, then you will have the facts on film and then you can decide what you might want to do. Just do NOT let anyone know there are hidden cameras. But find a way to check the contents periodically so you are on top of things at all times. You never know what is going on until you see it in real terms.
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First off, it is an invasion of their privacy. Second, your allegation of a bad haircut as abuse or neglect would be laughed right out of court. Your DPOA allows you to carry out his wishes. If he expresses the need to separate, by all means rescue him with the help of an attorney. If he does not want to leave, stay out of it.
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I wasn't insinuating that his bad haircut was a sign of abuse or neglect, just an observation. He is certified by two board certified physicians to be incapable of handling his own affairs. I am MOST concerned about her and the noticeable meanness towards him, which the nurse has noticed as well.
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Maybe the wife needs more time away from her husband. Ask the nurse if she thinks it's just that or if she thinks it's abuse. Would the nurse tell Adult protective services what she has seen if you need to call them?
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Laws vary by state but all are pretty consistent about video and audio taping without knowledge and consent anywhere where a person has an expectation of privacy. That would include their home or a private room in your home (bedroom, bathroom)
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absolutely! I had cameras and they were life savers! IN my State I could have audio or video and I chose video, all States are different. You wouldn't believe how such sweet people are NOT!
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In *MY* house I have cameras installed all over the place. It's my house and there is nothing hidden. They all are in plain view.
You do NOT have the right install hidden cameras in other people's homes without their consent.
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If the nurse has noticed it too, why isn't SHE reporting it? Isn't that part of her job?
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The very first stop would be to see a local attorney. Laws regarding video or audio recording vary from state to state. Also, what is posted on a forum such as this are generally opinions. In a matter as potentially complicated as this, you need hard facts about what is and is not allowed in a court of law in your state. I'm sorry this is happening and salute you for being your father's advocate.
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An eldercare attorney would know if you would violate any privacy rights. It's a tough decision because if she is NOT harming him, it would completely destroy your relationship with her, and probably him as well. See if you can get some time alone with him. If her reaction is negative, you might ask her what she could possibly be afraid of. Her reaction in itself might be an indication, and so would his. As you've indicated, their relationship seems to have cooled. Maybe it's time to find out why.

You might say you are taking him for a haircut, and see what her reaction is to that, also. Getting his hair cut might not be neglect, but I think not even combing it is. Ask the attorney about that, and about your options if she IS neglecting him. As another person said, this wasn't what she signed up for, although the fact that they have only been married four years makes me wonder why she didn't think that this might be a possibility, or even if she wanted it to be. It's hard not to be suspicious, especially when other people are noticing the meanness.
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