Where do I find inspiration for my own old age?

Yesterday my husband and I hosted a birthday party for my 99 year old girlfriend and 19 family/friends. She's lives independently at home (alone) with bedroom on second floor and art studio in basement AND she still gives oil panting lessons to 5 students once a week. Inspiring to say the least. She says "attitude is everything" and we have to agree. Also, check out this article about another woman in town who made front page news last week when she turned 101. Maybe it's the water in our town :). own parents are 93 and 90. Dad had me take them to a store a few weeks ago so he could buy a new suit to wear to a New Year's Eve party this week. Mom's getting a pedicure and they'll both be all dolled up. I think, as the non profit organization Ageless Dreamer says: "An attitude worth having".

I really appreciate all the info on bone density. I'm always interested in that because, so far, the drugs are not impressive. And, AgelessDreamer, I loved what you had to say. I know there are elders out there who are inspirational, but sometimes it seems like all we hear about are the ones who aren't doing well. Of course, one of the reasons for this forum is to deal with that very thing! I love my parents (despite my complaining). They are loving, supportive, kind, etc., but they are so "out of it" also. I have to remember that they were never good at keeping up with trends or styles. My mom was always shy and withdrawn and my dad was always obnoxious and overbearing. Nothing has changed, but somehow, because they are needy, it seems worse. I'm not anything like my mom in that I'm very outgoing and make friends easily. I love clothes and keeping my home nice. I'm not like my dad in that I'm much more aware of other people's feelings. On the other hand, I believe I have my mom's good manners and ability to empathize. I have my dad's outgoing personality and drive to be active and interested in what's going on.

I'm artistic, love riding my horses and have a wonderful relationship with my husband. I have lots of nice friends and a few really good ones. I'm interested in current events, history and learning in general. But I also tend to worry a lot about the things I feel I cannot control. I realize there's no point in it, but it's difficult for me to control. So, as I approach 60 I worry about losing the things I love so much. I know it happens and it's part of life, but it seems to happen so quickly and I find it difficult to come to terms with it lately.

So, no matter where this topic leads, I'm just so grateful that people are interested. Thank you everyone.

Their daughter, you write: "...Unfortunately, I'm one of those people who tends to worry about things in general!..." I would gently suggest that this is something that you can change, especially if you get some help to change it. I can suggest this, because I have sought and received much help over the years in order to change some self-defeating thought/behavior patterns and it was totally worth every bit of time/effort/money that I invested. Get to a face-to-face caregiver support group ASAP and/or see a good cognitive behavioral therapist. I predict that you will be glad you did. Blessings to you AND to your parents. G~

I'm 30 yrs old dealing with Anxiety, Depression, Panic Attacks, n Fear. My heart is with God but how do I deal with this. Especially raising 3 kids ages 6, 12, n 14

If you don't think your anxiety is some kind of a spiritual issue (BTW that's my experience too, it just isn't a "lack of faith" or trust if a little bit more of one molecule or another fixes the whole thing...same thing with my migraines, it was very liberating to realize they were not just "stress" but a highly medically treatable condition, and to find the class of medication that actually worked was one of those OMG, I've got my life back! moments) then it can be biological or medical and maybe a little cognitive. Fear is an adaptive emotion that becomes maladaptive if the threshold for it is too low. Faith and trust can help in the process of overcoming it, as well as developing perspective either just from seeing life as it is over a long period of time (i.e. getting old, but thoughtfully) or a litlte cognitive behavior therapy (counseling). BUT, sometimes our hormones and neurotransmitters are just way out of whack for some reason, and the right medication can be a huge help. If you have a terrific family history of anxiety OCD and/or depression (past generations used to call it "nervous breakdown") or just been through a traumatic event, serotonin levels may be real depleted and a lowish dose of an SSRI may make all the difference in the world. Some of us ladies also need our estradiol level to be just right to not go out of our minds with worry.

But yeah, absolutely do anything you can to avoid living in a state of anxiety. The stress on you is enormous, and so is the burden on everyone else if you live confined by worry, and God knows some of our elders' worrying is absolutely the biggest factor in how much of a burden it is to care for them and help them. Be open to whatever avenues you need to take to reduce this problem in your life. You have a lot of strength to go on and be a good mom despite it, but life does not actually have to be that hard all the time. Wishing and praying for you, all the best on your journey to health and wholeness.

Well, the key is staying active, engaged, open to learn new things and have new experiences. My mom is the type2 someone mentioned earlier. I know I don't want to be that way nor have my children going thru what I'm going thru. SO I'm making sure I keep as active as possible, work as long as I can, and actively meet new people and be open to their help when the time comes.

I travel a lot and I'm inspired by the number of elders who are in their 80s and still traveling either alone or with a caregiver, etc. they may have a walker or cane or wheelchair but they are still out there smiling and living life with aches pains, etc. I applaud them. I met a guy at a convention who was still a consultant and 88 and traveled on his own. Still sharp as a tack. How about that woman in PARADE magazine who was 94 and competing in track and field events. I go to YMCA and see amazing seniors alone and in groups doing wonderfully. I have visited AL facilities and see a wide range of elders in various states. Some have lost their mental faculties but are still smiling, happy and living their lives.

I take heart that I can be inspired by these brave "live every moment to the fullest" elders and I can age gracefully just like them until my last breath.

Keeping it on the "I," at 54 I'm trying my hardest to live life to the fullest. That way I don't think so much about how much time I have left. Toxic relatives have been kicked to the curb already, and "me" time has increased a lot. Have a home in South America to spend my old age in, and no one has to worry about burying my a__ or cremating the carcass. I'm going to be recycled now that the body has been donated to science. Re-use what they can and play or feed the rest to the birds.

My grandfather died of prostate cancer; so did my Dad. And they accomplished a lot during their short lives. I strive to do the same. Working out regularly, eating healthy, living well, and looking good are becoming more important as time goes by; but it's no insurance against what befell them.

In many ways, I am like them; and proud of it. If my life has to end the same way, bet your cookies I'll go down fighting. Just like they did. No regrets.

I meant "play WITH or feed the rest ..."

Yes, stay active, don't become a couch potatoe. Get a part time job. Go to Church. Find something you care very deeply about, and spend time doing it. For example, I love cats and birds, I spend time rescuing them all over the country. It's amazing how many people get pets and throw them outside to die because they don't want them anymore. As I'm writing this, I'm realizing that I'm actually writing this to myself as well, as a reminder for me! Fear is the work of the Evil One, I find great comfort in our Lord and Savior.

I love all the feedback on this topic. I'm not sure why it suddenly took off because I was 59 when I posted it and I'll be 62 this year!

I am doing better. My dad died in 2012 after developing shingles. It was horrible because he was in so much pain. Meanwhile, my husband and I had gotten my parents into assisted living and that's where my now 94-year old mom continues to live. At first, I put myself through a lot of stress, worrying about her (see, I worry about everything!) and trying to make sure that between my brothers and myself, she was getting to see somone several times a week.

I got my two brothers to take turns seeing her every Saturday, and for the most part, they have continued to do that. But I was putting pressure on myself to see her twice a week, along with doctor's appointments, making sure all her needs were being met, etc. I know that compared to having her live with us, this was and is a blessing, but for whatever reason, I was getting really worn out.

Since this winter has been so hard between snow and cold, it caused me to cut back on my visits and often I only see my mom once a week. To be honest, letting go to some extent has helped me a lot. My mom is less dependent on me and she seems to be happier, as well. The staff at her assisted living facility are wonderful and even my mom will tell me how much she likes it there.

And to be honest, not having to deal with both of my parents has made a huge difference. My husband and I built our home on my parents' farm, so we were neighbors for more than 10 years! I'm glad we were able to help them and a lot of good things came out of it, but talk about stress!!! Unfortunately, my dad never did understand that he shouldn't just drop in on us whenever he felt like it and even when I had to take the car away during his final illness, he managed to get a friend to bring him over! Meanwhile, my mom was just getting worse with her Alzheimer's because my dad didn't tell anyone what was going on and he also didn't know how to help her! Just writing this makes me realize why I ended up seeing a therapist! :-)

But, I do feel better, as I said. Even though the weather is keeping me in a lot right now, I'm still into drawing and painting. I discovered something called Zentangles that is a very relaxing, "meditative" form of doodling. I've worked on learning more about photography and how to use my camera. I use my treadmill or lift weights 6 times a week. I guess I was doing those things before, but for some reason, I'm enjoying everything more.

Thanks so much for all the great posts. I hope some people who are in their 80s and older will add to the conversation! But, nice to hear from everyone.

To THEIR DAUGHTER: I don't know that I have an answer, but I definitely empathize with you. I am also 59, married, quit my job, husband has brain tumor and has needed me as his caregiver for 5 years. No children and no insurance except through husband's BCBS. His cognition, memory and word recall are awful. I've been up and down. Thankfully I have a good church family and many Christian friends who are involved in our life. I don't know what will become of us. We do have disability from his 26 years of teaching and Social Security disability. I am trying to bring in come money by making pottery, polymer clay jewelry, and other art. I have to have faith that God will take care of us as He knows whenever a sparrow falls. I read a lot of Chicken Soup for the Soul books on my Kindle, am on anxiety and depression meds. I may start buying lottery tickets. Somebody has to win those things. lol. Try to stay positive and know that there are more of us out here than you know. My 90 year old Mom is starting to fail so I might as well hang out a shingle! I try to find humor in as much as possible. I do little unexpected things for strangers and ask that they pay it forward. Makes me think less about my problems. Try it - feels good and makes you forget the awful things you and I are dealing with.

Yes I can relate. I divorced young, no children,brother died last year and I am caregiver for mom with alzheimers totally alone. It's bad enough watching her everyday struggle,but at least she is not in pain. She is 88 and if she goes before me, I plan yo live what's left of my life ti fullest. What this alzheimer journey has made me realize how bad some people need help. I have prayed to god to help me and not let my mom suffer.its difficult with her and will be difficult without her.

Aging takes a lot of people by surprise because of how many changes occur in the human body. Things like hormones get out of whack, and your waistline can expand exponentially. You're certainly not a young buck anymore! Check out these tips on aging and ease into the process a little more smoothly.

Quitting smoking is one of the most important health tips at any age but as you get older, you are going to hear it more and more from doctors and friends. Smoking does not only lead to cancer, but it will also accelerate the aging process of your face. You will develop more lines around the eyes and mouth.

Osteoporosis is an unwelcome part of aging. It is the loss of bone density. There are many ways you can prevent or at least slow this down. One important tip is to limit or eliminate caffeine consumption. Caffeine causes the body to excrete calcium, the exact opposite of the effect you want!

Keep up with the latest styles. Although some of today's fashion is a bit off the wall, you are sure to find a piece or two that you will feel comfortable wearing. Just by adding a trendy top to your outfit, you are sure to feel and look good and the younger generations will notice.

To improve your skin while aging, stay away from foundation and powder makeup. When aging, your skin needs all the hydration it can get. Add easy-to-use cosmetics like mascara, eyeliner, and lip gloss into your anti-aging repertoire.

Keep up with the golden rule to treat others as you would like them to treat you. Even though many people think that many of the elderly are mean and grumpy, you do not have to be that way. Treat others with the respect and sensitivity that you would like them to treat you and you are sure to get the same in return.

One of the key tips to staying young is to be happy. The body reacts to stress and this stress causes physical damage. So in order to stay young and have a healthy body, your life should be filled with the things that you love and get rid of all the other stresses. Use exercising and meditation to keep young and learn to appreciate the good things in life.

If you want to have the feeling of being forever young, then you will want to maintain a healthy lifestyle and laugh. Laughing reduces stress and stress is not good for anyone, whether they are young or old. Laughter also helps circulation, lowers blood pressure, reduces negativity, improves respiration and encourages digestion. These are all good things, when living a healthy lifestyle, so laugh and laugh often!

A smooth transition into your senior years is what you're after here. There is no miracle cure that's going to instantly-stop the aging process, but these tips will help you to live a healthy lifestyle and to look and feel your best as you get on in years. And you can't ask for anything more than that.