Our mother developed dementia over a 2 years ago and prior to that she had a major stroke. She has relied on us to care for her physical needs and gradually we had to take over her financial affairs. But her mind is getting much worse and wants to have complete control of her money which she can't possibly handle. She imagines all sorts of things which aren't true and gets angry if we don't allow her to spend money of needless items. We try not to let her see her mail, but when she does get her hands on it, she doesn't understand what she reads and therefore, misinterprets everything. Sometimes, important paperwork is misplaced and she doesn't say anything to us, so we are clueless when a bill is overlooked or not paid because she lays the paperwork anywhere. We try to keep everything organized, but that's impossible when she gets her mail . We were told by her bank that we needed POA before they would discuss anything with us.

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I don't know of any way you could "initiate" that kind of authority - it has to be granted by the person who holds it naturally. Since your mom has dementia, and I'm assuming this is a diagnosed dementia by a physician, I don't think you have any way to get that authority without going through guardianship.

There's a possibility you could get joint banking accounts if you don't raise the issue with the bankers. Your mother would have to accompany you and your brother to do this.

If there are any other siblings though, this is not a good idea because it suggests taking action "behind their backs."

If your mother hasn't been diagnosed with dementia and that conclusion is based on your observations, that's a different story. She could grant it to you but an attorney would query her to make sure she understood what she's doing.

Your profile states that your mother's doctor "made a bad call on some bloodwork" and that led to your mother's dementia. What/who's the source of that information, and was it that doctor (not the one who interpreted the blood work) who diagnosed her dementia?
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