Does an inheritance make becoming a caregiver worthwhile?


I have read so many posts about caregivers and their torment taking care of elderly parents. There is no law that has been enforced in the U.S. to make adult children responsible for their elderly parents care. I understand that particular generation has more assets and longevity than any others in past history, but due to the cost of elderly care, does it make sense to have adult children sacrifice their lives and future to secure a potential future financial legacy from their parents?

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i was divorced, my mom lived in the country, couldnt drive, needed me. I didnt give up my life but left my home that was under construction and spent 6 yrs with her. My life was still on blocks and it wore me down. lost a lot of wages that will never be regained. Mom left me a few thou. about enough to get moved back home and get my masonry equipment back in shape. It was scary tho because that small inheritance could have been fried at any point along the way. a person really sticks their neck in a noose to do this elder / end of life care. big gamble. You just do it because its necessary, d*mn the torpedos ..
glad i did it . good example to my sons . i know which sibling out of 5 cared for my grandparents at end of life and i respect the h*ll out of her -- aunt edna ..
i suppose every situation is different. My mom lived in a worn out shack till Dad died . she bought a nice used modular and loved it. didnt want to leave it for any reason. wouldnt live at my house. she said it was selfish of her to hijack me to her house and i agree -- but in the end i was compensated for my sacrifice. The sense of accomplishment is the payoff -- the cash just financed my move back home.
That doesnt answer your question debra , your question is complicated . i would do it for no money and id certainly do it for a lot of money and feel justified in taking it .
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No, if I did it for the money the price is not worth it. I do a lot for my dad because I love him. As for my mother I can't say I will continue. She is a horrible person hopefully she have enough money left to pay for assisted living.
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It is not worth it unless you have a dozen of relatives willing to help you out day after day, year after year for as long as it might be.... and they get an equal share of that financial legacy.

For argument sake, let's say your parents are worth $100 million, would it be worth being their only Caregiver [which is usually the case]? NO. NEVER. ZILCH. No amount of money is worth Caregiver Syndrome

Remember, a hired trained Caregiver works one 8 hour shift and then goes home, then another person takes his/her place for the next 8 hours, etc. If the hired Caregiver wants a vacation or calls out sick, someone else takes his/her place. You as a sole Caregiver usually work for free. And 30% of the sole Caregivers die early, leaving their parents behind, those are not good odds.

I am trying to get my parents to part with some of their money to better their lives as they are in their 90's and still live in their single family home in a neighborhood where all their friends have passed on or move, and now the neighbors are half my parents age. They have no one to talk to. Moving to a 5-star retirement community would be great. And with my parents bettering their lives, it would better mine, much less stress. But they refuse to part with any of their money. They said they are saving the money for me. That attitude is slowly killing me :(
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Gee, where does all this leave us spousal caretakers whose LO has already bankrupted us? We're not doing it for the money, that's for sure.
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I don't think that many adult children are sacrificing their lives and/or future just for financial gain or inheritance. There may be some, as I see from the occasional post focusing on gain at the end of the tunnel, but most of the posts reflect genuine care, concern, and certainly anguish at the dilemmas caregivers face.

Actually I think marrying for money to get an inheritance would be easier than caregiving for an inheritance.

This is often a thankless, hard, physically and emotionally demanding, frustrating, lonely and isolationist task. It's hard for me to imagine anyone wanting to do it for an inheritance.

So, "sensible"? Maybe, maybe not. But I think caregiving is done from a sense of obligation, love, care and commitment.

If you're questioning your own role, that's something only you can decide.
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