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My mother lives in an Independent Living facility, and there have been several incidents of condescending and bullying behavior of the director there. He is not a people person, and certainly has no skills speaking with and dealing with the residents there. The majority dislike him, which affects many aspects of living there. My sister has addressed this with staff, and even wrote the corporate office. They just had the director himself deal with it, thus the situation was not dealt with. I contacted the advocate with the Dept. of Aging, however, they cannot help with Independent Living facilities, only Assisted Living ones. My question is, how do we handle this? Does anyone have suggestions on how to handle this? Nobody should have to live with this, especially vulnerable individuals.

When 27 residents of the IL apt bldg my mom lived in complained about bed bugs, they got no satisfaction, only bullying, from the management. So they wrote up their complaints and sent them to the state attorney general's office, where they were photocopied and immediately sent on to, you guessed it, the management of the bldg. Then the bullying really began....
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Reply to mally1
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Do also consider first whether his/her communication style really impacts care or safety.

Speak with other residents and families. Encourage calls to corporate and letters. Maybe one signed by that group.

Be prepared to move if there are options.
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Reply to Gigi4home
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that's because assisted living they tenants are still cognizant and can speak their own mind.
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Reply to cetude
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There should be a senior care Ombudsman in your state, perhaps they could be of assistance to you....
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Reply to jaymelampe
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Since this all hearsay and you haven’t witnessed anything yourself, I think you would be taken more seriously if you witnessed things yourself and could give your own eyewitness account.
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Reply to worriedinCali
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You should express your concerns in writing to the head of this ILF. If need be, have an attorney retained at the ready to back your statements up legally.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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You can explore the possibility of moving to a differnet facility; talk with an attorney who specializes in this area. I am surprised that dept. of aging didn't offer any suggestions. have you tried meeting with the director and your parent together? Many newspapers have ofice which deals with problem situations and could be approachable. Have you talked with relatives of other residents? Do they have same problem? Perhaps getting a group together to address the corporate office -. one person or even several separately may not have effect, but if several do it together that should get some attention. That impacts the bottom line -profits.

How much contact does your parent have with manager? On what issues? Perhaps someone else can do his?
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Reply to HILLARDMH
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Melaney, sadly, this sounds very familiar. I sent you a private message. Hope to hear back from you...
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Reply to Kimbee
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Having an employee who isn't well-suited to his job isn't a violation of any state regulations and bullying can be a subjective judgement. So, to get results that will improve your mom's immediate situation, contact the owner of the community, whether it's a company or a family, find out where to call and do so. Also, go to the company's website and fill out a contact form (the kind you might fill out to inquire about the community). The inquiries usually get sent to more than one employee and, almost always, to people at corporate. It will be noticed.

I wouldn't overtly threaten (it sounds empty), but certainly make clear that your mom is troubled by his behavior and that, though you wouldn't want to undertake a move and you're satisfied with may things about the community, if it becomes more of an issue, you'll do what you have to to keep mom happy.

You should keep in mind that, if this is something that multiple residents are concerned about, corporate no doubt is already aware of it and has probably put in place a plan that they may or may not be willing or able to share with you.
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Reply to IsntEasy
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Independent living is not necessarily a vulnerable population; they should be able to live independently, which is why independent living and assisted living are regulated differently. Your post doesn't give much detail so I'm not sure what the problem is that you want the director to fix. Is the building safe? Is it clean? Does it have an activity schedule that is done well? A little more detail would be helpful.
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Reply to NYDaughterInLaw
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I would send another letter, with specifics on the actions, as well as a time for them to respond appropriately, not sending the fox to check on the fox in the hen house and inform them that if they choose to be obtuse you will have no choice but to bring this situation to the attention of the media.

If he/she cannot treat these people with dignity and courtesy it is probably the wrong position for them.

I personally would not want their job, having to much emphasis on the bottom line when dealing with human beings is a warped place to be.

I think if the government wants there fingers in health care, this is where they should start. Non-profits are far superior, focus on care and pay people a living wage instead of making stock holders money. Just my soapbox, sorry🙄
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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Make a few recordings of him without him knowing - send those to corporate headquarters to show them & tell them you need an independent person to deal with his actions/bullying otherwise go to the media
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Reply to moecam
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worriedinCali Nov 2, 2018
Check your state law before you follow this advice. Recording someone without their consent is illegal in some states so this could backfire on you.
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There's some already some pretty good suggestions.

Negligence or people who can't do their jobs should not be in them! Thank you in advance for your perseverance!
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Reply to Savitaa
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There's some already some pretty good suggestions.

Negligence or people who can't do their jobs should not be in them! Thank you in advance for your perseverance!
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Reply to Savitaa
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I would call your state's Ombudsman to hear how they can help. They will look into this on your loved one's and family's behalf. Have specific incidents ready and open a case file. Good luck to you.
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Reply to kcandersen
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cjwilson Nov 2, 2018
Ombudsman have no authority over independent living facilities.
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I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this. I’ve worked in a couple of homes where there are video cameras. Is this a possibility?
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Reply to PMA6479
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Maybe you could find another facility for her to live. Has she said anything about this person?
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Reply to Isabelsdaughter
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melaney Nov 2, 2018
As a matter of fact, she visited another ILF, and is on the waiting list. She really dislikes the director at her current one.
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You need to contact Department Of Social Services & an Elder Law Attorney.
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Reply to leslie3
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This is not to deny what you are saying, but perhaps to add a bit more information that may help to deal with it. I have had to undertake reviews of aged care facilities, and I know that they are hard to manage, both financially and socially. Financially, anything involving 24 hour shifts is hard to break even, let alone make a profit if it is privately owned. Socially, residents are frequently difficult, and their families have high expectations. Families may have found it impossible to cope with their personal interactions with one difficult person, while the interactions between several of them are far harder to for the facility to manage. And yes, staffing is low paid and staff turnover is high. Complaint levels from families can be high, which means that there is inevitable ‘complaint fatigue’ at Board or Corporate level. The Director has to meet the financial expectations of the Board, and is likely to be the meat in the sandwich, with a difficult job and not much sympathy for the problems.

The person to manage the facility is frequently not the right person to have contact with residents – they need a completely different skills base. The staff often cope with the limitations on what they can do by blaming the manager – which is actually quite a workable way to interact with residents and their families, but not much fun for the manager.

To make a complaint that is likely to be useful, a couple of things might help. Firstly, see if the job description can separate the Director from direct contact with the residents so far as is possible. It helps to acknowledge the different skill sets involved, and the difficulty of the management job. Secondly, give specific information about incidents that involve several residents, not just your own family member. However it may be best not to identify the other residents involved, or to ask them or their own family members to provide support and corroboration – it is too hard for many people to do, and they are likely to back off.

This is not to deny the fact that the Director may be the problem and may need to go. However some sympathy for the genuine problems may make it more likely that the Board will take it seriously, instead of writing it off as yet another unreasonable complaint.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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Melaney, go to the corporate website for the ILF and type "formal complaints procedure" into the search box.

Among the information about the policy, it should tell you what regulator or professional body or association oversees them. The facility will be accountable to some organisation for various standards, and how they handle complaints will be among those.

If you're not having any luck, let me know and I'll ask you for more information privately.

Who was acting for the Director while he was away?
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Reply to Countrymouse
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Go back to the corporate office. You now have two points to make:

1. A reiteration of the original complaint.
2. A complaint about the company's egregious handling of 1.

This time, spell out what it is that you want done. What is it that you want done, by the way? Do you want this director fired? Re-trained? Supervised? Or would you be satisfied with an apology and an undertaking to reflect on his approach to interpersonal communication and improve it?

What you certainly want, I imagine, is a direct response from the corporate office to show that they have taken your concerns on board, will address them, and will contact you by [a set time] with a proper reply.

If you have specific examples of bullying or victimisation of elderly and/or vulnerable residents, you can refer those to APS. It's abuse.

How do you yourself get on with the director?
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Reply to Countrymouse
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melaney Nov 1, 2018
Thank you for responding. What I hear from the residents is they would like for him to go. When he was on vacation recently, things were so much better. I know who the director is, however, I've had no interactions with him. My sister and my cousin have, and they weren't good experiences. I think it is a good idea writing the corporate office again, but I would like to cc it somewhere, so they wake up and take this seriously. Any suggestions on where?
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