My husband (with Alzheimer’s) is able to use the toilet but now assumes the position quickly without being noticed and urinates in other places-on the floor in other homes, on the lawn in public and today in the corner in a store. He is an embarrassment. When I, or anybody else, tries to get him to use the toilet before leaving home, arriving somewhere or if it feel like a while since he has been to the bathroom he resists and says he doesn’t have to go. If we persist and ask him to try he becomes agitated and aggressively says “you don’t tell me what to do”. I think the solution might be using some kind of diapers that are fastened securely so someone could get to him in time and guide him to a bathroom. Looking at all sorts of diapers online, they seem extremely complicated and bulky, full of loose wrapping. I have practiced with a Tena and went to youtube to try to find out how to put one together and what I am doing wrong. Can anyone recommend a diaper with secure closures that is easy to put on and difficult for the patient to remove quickly?
Sadly it sounds like your husband should no longer be allowed out in public if he's just peeing everywhere and anywhere, but should be kept home or in a facility, and put on a every 2 hour trip to the bathroom.
And you don't ask, you just take his hand and tell him you're taking him to the bathroom. And you might try having him sit on the toilet every time he has to pee as that way it may be less of a mess for you to clean up in your home. I had to do that with my late husband as he was missing the toilet more than he was getting his pee in it as his dementia worsened. My husband didn't like it at first, but he did get used to it and because I made sure he was sitting down every time(yes that meant I followed him in every time).
You're the boss now and the adult in the room(without a broken brain) so you get the final say on how things will be handled going forward.
I wish you well as you travel this very difficult road with your husband.