My wife is worried about her incontinence. Any suggestions?

Does the incontinence only happen at night?

I think the first step is to keep trying incontinent briefs until you find one that is comfortable for her. Try every brand and different styles and sizes. Obviously these garments may not be perfect, but wetting the bed is far from perfect, too!

Then, get a waterproof mattress cover. In fact, get two, so when one is in the wash, you'll have a fresh one to put on. The best way to treat a mattress is to keep it clean. Mattress covers do that. Covers go into the washing machine and therefore can much more easily and thoroughly be cleaned than a mattress. 

Have you consulted with a doctor about the incontinence? A specialist? There are things that can be done for certain kinds of incontinence. It is certainly worth pursuing a medical solution.

The key word is use throwaway briefs (or pull-ups), not diapers. They're very "normal" like underwear.

My husband is also incontinent (both ways). When he began to have accidents in public, I had to gently and kindly put my foot down, and start insisting he wear adult diapers. I also have more than a few female friends "of a certain age", who probably due to the push (pun intended) for all natural childbirth and obstetricians who regularly used forceps for delivering babies, have weak muscle control which causes leaks when sneezing,laughing,coughing, etc. Unfortunately, it's just another "perk" of aging. I suspect your wife dislikes the smell of vinegar because it reminds her of what she considers an embarrassing fault of hers. You may also be using too much in your mix. I would also caution you that if you're using this on wood or vinyl floors, the acidic content of vinegar can damage the floor. And once vinegar, urine or other liquids are absorbed into a mattress, there is no way to clean or deodorize it. If your wife has a sister, a close female friend or a daughter, perhaps you could speak with her and ask if she could respectfully encourage your wife to wear protection. It's nothing to be ashamed of. No one except for you two will know she is wearing anything. Good luck to you both!

I have allergies, so I have a mattress cover for that. It encases the bed and doesn't let dust mites in. If you can't get any other kind of mattress cover, you could use that. (You can order them online.)
Try getting somebody to take your mattress out into the sun for a day or two to get rid of the smell. You might consider spraying it with pine-sol before you do.

And if you can't do anything else, use pine-sol instead of vinegar.
Here are some other tips. I googled "eliminate urine smell from elderly" to find it. There were lots of other hits.
http://www.ehow.com/how_7433349_rid-smell-elderly-person_s-clothing.html

Ooohh, I hate the smell of vinegar in cleaning too.
My daughter used a product for her incontinent dog that is MADE for dissolving the "smell" agents in urine. She'd make up a spray bottle and mix it kind of stronger than called for. Used it on carpets and floors when the dog "missed" the pad (which is always) Also she used it for potty training kids who have accidents. Spray it on pretty well, let it sit for a few minutes and blot it until it's almost dry. There's an enzyme in this that really kills the smell.
Honestly? The bed should just be replaced, if possible. And read some posts about the layering of pads in the bed making process so when there are the inevitable accidents, the clean up is quick and no smell remains.

Mother wears a very thin undergarment that absorbs amazing amounts of liquid. You cannot see it under her clothes. At bedtime she puts an extra pad in with the undergarment. Just be sure the wet pads, underpants, etc., go straight out to the trash. Just like a baby diaper, they will smell bad very quickly.
Open windows and get fresh air in as much as possible. Trying to "cover" bad smells just adds to the funk.
No doubt your wife has friends who have this same issue. It's so common.
As far as your floors---have a professional come in. Maybe they can refinish the floors or give you a sealant for them. I have wood floors throughout my upstairs and nothing can get through them. It's the carpet that's a smell-holder. Have that cleaned with the pet enzyme solution. Vinegar will discolor after repeated uses--as you've found.
Good Luck!!

My husband has this issue also. I finally insisted on pull on "diapers" (for lack of a better word). There are lots of brands - we use Tranquility brand as did not like Depends at all. If he is having bad days we add additional pads. I also have adsorbent pads -- large ones on top of and under the sheets so I can just remove the top layer if there is an issue. We removed the carpet and put in vinyl flooring. I use baking soda in his wash. I too have drips sometimes and always wear a shield in my undies (having kids and getting old are both good and bad). Good luck to you both and hugs.

We use the 24 x 36 inch size for our dogs. We put them on the floor, tell them to go there if we are gone and they need to potty. They also came in handy when we had an older dog that had some incontinence. We would put them on the bed for this purpose also. They are machine washable with detergent AND Clorox and ours have lasted about ten years. We have gotten them at WalMart and also some drug stores that carry them.

I just heard about these, though I haven't tried them yet, they sound interesting! https://www.iconundies.com/

Why is it you're not paying more attention to your own needs? Is mopping up urine really the best use of your energy and best way to show your devotion? Get those pull-ups asap. You are the one in the manager role, so consider your own needs too.

I tried lysol at first on the carpet with my mother....she hated it...started using a more pleasant fragance....She likes it better, but, of course this was after cleaning with carpet/upholstery cleaner.

Also certain meds are avaiable

Also if femine pads are needed

Worrying about incontinence doesn't help. Get pads and wear them.

I don't have any suggestions for the underwear, but I did deal with incontinent dogs for years. Waterproof mattress pads will be your best bet for easy clean up. And a product called Nature's Miracle, that is the pet product that has enzymes to help eliminate the odor. It comes in regular and extra strength. The smell won't be completely gone until it dries so be patient. You can buy it as an add-on purchase on Amazon.

I used to use the waterproof pads on top of my bed (I would cut off the sides) to protect my bedding, and a pad on the mattress also.

I used pet liquid deoderant in a bottle from pet store when mom nearly ruin a new mattress - no smell after 4+ years - just wet the mattress where stains are & let air dry a few hours

When I was nursing my 3rd child he would spit up enough to soak the bed & I really hate changing sheets at 3:00 A.M. - so we started do as they do in hospitals here - so take another sheet [flannelette is best] fold in 3 lengthwise then place across the bed parallel to the pillows from the pillows down & it should go to about the knee area - tuck in well - so with use of pad & sheet you may actually only need to change that instead of whole bed each day - hope this helps

I'll share a funny story to make you feel better and it's 100% true. When I was about 62 (I just turned 70 in January), I started having some running to the bathroom anywhere-out and about, at a restaurant, problems, etc. My late mother who was still alive at the time said to me "why don't you get some feminine pads for yourself?" I did and have been using them ever since! My elderly mother was smarter than I was! She had been through with some mighty embarrassing accidents. Let me tell you it's far better to have that security than to have someone wonder what that wet spot is dripping down your leg.

And after having a super embarrassing accident at the ER after they gave me a medication, I lost bowel function so I bought myself the next product up from a feminine pads an adult diaper. Good to have on hand and nothing to shy away from! She'll see that she'll gravitate towards them!

The med that you can get that scanner2971 mentioned is called Vesacare.

Also, I have found that I hate Lysol. I use cans of room scents sold at Bath & Body Works or Yankee Candle, Home Goods. Very effective odor elimination!