Is my sister safe if my incompetent mom wants to take her off the will?

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My sister took care of my Dad and now my Mom, my Mom has turned on her and wants to take her off part of the will. I am POA and we have two letters that say shie is incompetant that the lawyer has. Is my sister safe?

It's not fair my sister took care of her. My Mom is very angry at her for some unknown reason. I am trying to protect my sister all I can and she has no idea I am. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Ellie

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I have no advice for you on how to stop this from occuring. I just want to say thank you and congratulations on being an out of state sibling that appreciates and has love and concern for your sister and how this inequity will effect her. You are unique. So many of us have siblings that think the worst of us when the elderly person starts lashing at us. You will be paid back by having loving family relationships that survive your mom. Bless you.
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I know this probably is not a real welcome thing to hear, but if there was enough evidence that Mom is not legally competent, it is very possible that the poor judgement and paranoia/hallucinations could be part of a dementia or similar condition. This can happen with MS...here is an excerpt from http://alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=135:

Some people with multiple sclerosis (MS) experience a loss of some of their mental abilities if damage caused by the MS occurs in certain parts of the brain. People may be affected to different degrees, and in different ways, over a period of time. The mental abilities most likely to be affected are memory, concentration and problem solving. There may also be emotional problems, such as mood swings.

The term 'dementia' is not generally used in association with multiple sclerosis because the decline is not usually as severe as it is in other forms of dementia, such as Alzheimer's disease. It is more usual to describe the person as 'experiencing cognitive difficulties'. For more information contact the MS Society (see 'Useful organisations').


and you may also want to read
for ideas that sound relevant to what you are experiencing.

Here is another one noting that this occurs in about 10% of cases:


Also, I'm hoping that Mom can get or is getting medical care and has a good neurologist who really knows MS...the hallucinations are a worrisome symptom also reported in MS, especially auditory ones ("hearing things") too. Mom's lawyer obviously is not going to steer you towards getting guardianship, but that could be what you really need in this situation. Understanding what is going on may help you cope and make the best decisions in a tough, tough situation...God bless you all!!
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I have some news, the lawyer said that if Mom asks him he would change the will for her, he said two letters doesn't matter, he said he would change it. He reminded me that he works for my Mom, (He wasn't being rude at all just honest.)
She has been moody and a real pain in the ars, and this is getting harder by the minute, I am paying her bills for her and she wants to see EVERYTHING, it makes me nervous, we paid some of the bills and tossed the top portion not thinking, I had to call back and ask for copies of what we tossed on accident. I live in another state, she is draining me so much, but she has no idea, my Mom has hallucinations not dymensia, she has MS. I am going to try talking to her when I am down there and let God speak through me to her. Wish me Luck!
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Ellie, best route is to make sure that someone with dementia does not change the will. Short of that, the heirs can give up an appropriate piece of any inheritance that they feel belongs to the sister. My Mother's family has a long history of doing this. My uncle gave my Mom money from another brother's widow when she passed. And my Mom gave part of her money to a nephew that received a very small stipend rather than the percentage others received. It was her way of righting what she felt was a 'wrong'.

But it seems that with POA and letters of incompetence, you will be able to avoid any Will changes.
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You are a good sister! It is good to hear from someone like you in here for a change!! We have so many stories of elderly people thinking that children have stolen from them who haven't and vice versa. Legally the POA has significant say so and you'd think should be able to control the will and assets if the person is not legally competent, but the lawyer visit could make sure you do not need a formal guardianship instead.
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Who declares someone incompetent? Does this have to come from court? Doctor? I never did know how this came about.
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My heart goes out to your sister, and to you for your deep concern for her. It seems that dementia/Alz patients often direct anger at the ones who they love and trust the most, their caregivers. They can't help it. Unfair yes, but we caregivers face this scenario all the time. I am going to follow your Q&A to be sure you do get an answer. I am looking at potential of similar action from my mother but a different angle, I fear she will allow my loser brother to convince her to draft a new will so he is the sole heir. He's been on drugs and into criminal activity for most of his life and I always say, the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. I will be seeing an Elder Care lawyer in two weeks so I will have more answers that would apply to us, but also to you and your sister. I bet you are a step ahead of me in that you have letters that declare your mother incompetent. Good luck.
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