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My husband in middle stage of dementia, has been hypersexual lately. It began with verbalizing a lot with me, but he's begun acting out on it in his room. As long as it's private, the staff have been respectful and they understand it's normal. But this morning, naked, he tried to get an aide to get into bed with him. The doctor just doubled his antidepressant and I was hoping that would be enough to lower his libido. Does anyone know of a specific medication that would help curb this hypersexuality? Is it treatable or is he going to get kicked out of MC? This is my constant anxiety, that he'll get kicked out and no one else will take him. Yet, I keep reading that it's a common thing. I need some perspective, friends....

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There are specific medications that will put the brakes on the libido. Ask his doctor to prescribe some.
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Ask the doctor about meds to specifically address this issue. From others I've heard it is kind of common to speak about it and try to act on it. There are several meds used for this.
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This is a tragedy for everyone dealing with it.

Anyone concerned should bear in mind that when this occurs it is presumably part of the illness, not some kind of moral failing.

Caregivers need to be focused on reducing the behavior of the victim, not dealing with some sort of misplaced personal embarrassment.

I can’t think of how to say this without sounding “preachy” and I don’t mean to, but please Caregivers, don’t forget to accept this issue with compassion for your LO and yourself.
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Re: " Does anyone know of a specific medication that would help curb this hypersexuality?"


Your Doctor should know!!! That's what they are there for.
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Medroxyprogesterone acetate antiandrogen has been used, but not really studied. You might ask his doctor about it. It is for pedophiles, actually, but looks promising.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1413960/
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Earthgrammy: Have a neurologist prescribe medication for his ISB (Inappropriate Sexual Behavior).
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I believe this behavior is related to certain type of dementia: FTD - or frontal tempt dementia. This is my husband’s diagnosis and the symptom of hyper sexuality has been extremely difficult to handle even with it being with me, not a stranger. There is no end to his constant need, incessant touching, stroking, and wanting sex, which he forgets, he can’t perform. Separate beds has not really helped. It’s difficult to handle without my getting upset, or when I refuse, he gets angry, depressed, etc. We love each other, and he says I’m all that he lives for, but this dynamic makes me want to avoid even cuddling because it only leads to his pleasing himself with me “ helping”. We have tried several medications but nothing has changed. Evidently this rare form of dementia is what Bruce Willis was diagnosed with. It also can affect speech and mobility.
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Please consult a Geriatric Psychiatrist who can educate and medicate.
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I had the same situation ,,,,my husband was touching other patients (ladies) first behind doors later in public. The staff did not react to this behavior till it became very intensive. But they did not wanted to let him go (very high monthly pay) I was told by a nurse of the situation. Boy was I embarrassed. I took my husband home immediately.Why don't the people working there worn of this kind of behavior ? every body hwo suffers from AL can behave like this.
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lealonnie1 Feb 2023
How's that working out for you, having dh back home?
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My dad had this condition. He was living in AL with my stepmother. They both had dementia. He would grope her and chase her around so much that it freaked her out. She would hide from him in the employees lounge. The facility wanted me to take one of them home to "fix" it. That was not an option. It was maddening. The facility threatened to kick them out as well. I even called the hotline for the Alzheimer's Association and all they could tell me was I was "in their thoughts and prayers". What ended up working for my dad was a drug called Seroquel. Maybe your husband's doctor could start him with a low dose?!

This is the link from my post when it was happening....
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/my-80-year-old-dad-and-77-year-old-step-mom-both-have-alzheimers-and-my-dad-wants-to-grope-her-451330.htm?orderby=recent􄖄
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Why doesn't the facility put a lock on his door?
If facilities can lock others' doors to keep other residents out, I do not understand why he cannot have these boundaries instituted.

* What is the responsibility of the facility to keep residents safe from sexual or otherwise, inappropriate behavior of other residents? If the facility was held responsible, they would certainly take care of it - alarms ... locks on doors ...

Gena / Touch Matters
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Frank1776 Feb 2023
Having had two family members in a nursing home, I have inquired about locks and been informed they are illegal. Locked doors could be dangerous for the patients.
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Care communities frequently place sexually inappropriate behaviours high on the list of their challenging situations. Any care setting can be a place where staff feel awkward with the things their residents say or do, especially things of a sexual nature. We are taught to keep private things private and may get embarrassed when someone makes a comment or touches inappropriately.
There are many causes and types of dementia. Learning about brain function can help you understand what skills and abilities are retained and what might be shifting. Regardless of the changes in the brain, it is crucial to consider the person first, not the dementia. The need for connection, touch, intimacy, and purpose is part of being
human and that does not change.
Matilda
What can change with dementia are some of the functions of the brain. For instance, visual fields can become narrow and more central, with less attention given to peripheral areas. Impulse control, self-awareness, seeing another person’s perspective, and making logical choices can be impacted. Time awareness can blur, creating confusion about the relevance of people and places. Individual preferences, wants, and needs can become more pronounced with brain change. Consider those brain functions in the context of sexual behaviours, perhaps a resident making suggestive comments or getting grabby! Can you still see the person, or are you only focused on the behaviour that makes you squirm.
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Yes please deal with this for the sake of others. My mom had a man enter her memory care room late one night and mastrubate on her bed. We had to have her door locked to keep him away. This is a serious issue indeed. Push the doctor to deal aggressively with this. Thank you for sharing such a subject that many want to avoid talking about.
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Hopefully there is a med that can help with this. Talk to the doctor about if this will help and if not, what will. If the staff knows you are trying to work on the situation and are open to solutions, I hope that they would not be entertaining any ideas of kicking him out.
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Your DH is displaying what's known as Inappropriate Sexual Behavior or ISB and there IS medication for this particular thing; I don't know that it's an 'anti depressant', although some SSRIs in particular are known to help with ISB. If your DH has a neurologist, speak to him or her about this. The doctor who doubled his anti depressants SHOULD know about it too.

Here's an interesting article on the subject:

https://www.aafp.org/pubs/afp/issues/1999/0515/p2880.html

Best of luck.
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ConaGolden Feb 2023
My father-in-law has been having the same issue in the assisted living. This behavior tends to be worsen when he had UTI. However, after treating UTI, his behavior continues and started Casodex (Antiandrogen) last week. Please note that he has been on Celexa 20mg (SSRI) and it was dramatically reduced his angry outburst, but his outburst was significantly worsen when it was doubled to 40 mg, such as slapping his wife's face. 40mg of Celexa will be likely inappropriate for older population, which may cause of serotonin syndrome. Also, his neurologist prescribed olanzapine in the past, but it affected on his mobility.
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