My in-laws, in their 80s, live in a rural area with no family near by. Their children are estranged from their parents and each other. Dad's an abusive alcoholic and Mom's an enabler.
His father has physical issues and needs help getting around. His mother seems to be failing mentally - she somehow cancelled their phone service a few months ago, leaving them truly isolated. They insist they will age in place, but they refuse to hire help or to modify their house.
During our most recent visit, my MIL told my husband that she can't manage on her own and she plans to move in with us when her husband passes. I wasn't there, so I don't know if she meant she wants to move to our town or if she thinks she's going to live in our home. The messed up part is that there's no reason to think her husband won't outlive her. She already clearly cannot cope and knows this, but she won't do anything her husband doesn't want to.
This has been weighing on me for weeks. Part of it is that I wound up caring for my own abusive parent at the end of life not too long ago. It just makes me mad that parents can treat you like crap, but then they expect you to just drop everything in your life to deal with their problems because they couldn't be bothered to do it themselves.