I have cancer of kidney and will need help eventually. I also have a living will. I will not accept invasive procedures and have stipulations regarding final care. I am presently pain free, active, and very good spirits, I know this will change eventually. And I also know that my wife will not be able to provide some of the care that will be required without some assistance. My doctor recommended that I begin to investigate resources so that the provider could get to know me and understand me. I am currently receiving no treatment for the condition, nor am I taking any medications related to the problem.
Home care---ask around at the senior center. Find out what agencies folks have liked and which they did not like. Go up to the Search Site box above and enter your city, state. Lots of info will pop up.
The Area Agency on Aging in your locality might also be of assistance; I've found them to be a tremendous resource.
I assume you're not going to go through radiation or other "treatment"? If you were, I would suggest contacting the infusion center at the hospital, as they may have suggestions on agencies that might specialize in dealing with cancer issues. Even if you don't undergo chemo or radiation, they may have palliative programs, such as art therapy.
The infusion center where my sister received her cancer treatments had ceramics, colored pencil, and other therapeutic programs. It wasn't just the programs though, it was the facility itself. Just being in its atrium, feeling the warmth of the sun through the windows and watching the geese paddle around was relaxing.
There was also a Reiki practitioner who assisted people when they needed some calming and/or relief.
I would also suggest getting the free subscription to CURE - it has a wealth of helpful articles ranging from support, coping, eating and the loss of sense of taste, as well as very technical articles dealing with molecular issues.
I do applaud your firm stance on what you will undergo and won't as you face this challenge. And I wish you a journey as peaceful and rewarding with your wife, family and friends, as is possible under the circumstances. The fact that you've already made your plans speaks to the strength of your character.