In home custodial care is too expensive, but don't qualify for Medicaid. Any suggestions?

Nursing home is going to have to be an option if you can't afford to pay in home help and the care requirements are too much to handle by yourself or it becomes unsafe for all involved. There is always a way to get her placed. Contact your local Agency on Aging or an elder care attorney. Medicaid (for long term care) can be obtained and/or wife can be made ward of the state if she is in danger at home. She definitely can be placed in a NH. If you are saying it is not an option because you refuse to place her in one, well I'm sorry. Hopefully you can come to understand her needs will be better met there than what you can provide.

Call your county office for aged and disabilities for guidance

Have you read about the "spousal impoverishment" rules that apply to all Medicaid programs?

Why do you feel u don't qualify for Medicaid? If you haven't talked to an Elder lawyer, maybe you should. Medicaid allows for splitting of assets. You wifes split gets spent down and then Medicaid is applied for.

If the only solutions aren’t options, looks like you’re backed into a corner. Maybe sell something, since that’s how you could pay for care. No one is going to come along and provide care for free, unless you have a willing friend or relatives to work for nothing. But we all know that’s not likely to happen. The harsh reality is that it’s all on us until the money runs out, and then Medicaid, maybe.