My father whom I love and who has dementia, has been emotionally and financially abusive his whole marriage. My mother knows nothing about their assets or accounts. Nothing. He does have an accountant, and she does know his name. We have to fill out information for the Elder Law firm in order to do medicaid planning, and she's simply unable to fill out the financials, which obviously they need. How do lawyers and families deal with this? My father refuses to share information with her. I am about to call the accountant to ask him to share absolutely all information with my mom, and ask her to ask him to do so (she is not good at taking agency; she feels everything is hopeless and just goes into decision/action-paralysis, so I have to jumpstart anything). Any other ideas? Do lawyers have resources? Will this cost us even more? Thank you
You will get excellent financial and legal advice.
Geaton and other posters here have a wealth of information, but Bogleheads has more specialized expertise that you need in this situation.