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I think that is why reviews are helpful sandwich. If you have a review every 6 months you can then say this is working still & this isnt.. There is absolutely no point in taking medication if it serves no purpose, none at all
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Let's get this straight doctors prescribe, pharmacists check interactivity and nurses administer. That's it. If nurses give meds to a person when they are designated to another that is abuse and the penalties are harsh. If however they dont administer medicines that have been determined by the doctor and agreed by the pharmacist then they would be in serious trouble too.

You are not willing to recognise that it is NOT a nurses fault - they cannot just stop administering on your say so unless you have that authority which from your pposts you seem not to have. It is, if anyone is to blame, the doctor for not discussing the meds with you and your mum properly. He should explain them what they are for what side effects and interactions may occur and then you agree them - this is a medical review and a nurse, a pharmacist, a doctor the patient and their representative if needed and a key worker if relevant should all be present for this review

If you can prove what you are saying report it to the authorities. To your local sheriff to your local press office if need be but keep speaking out to the right people. BUT I can tell you this NOT EVERY HOME is like the ONE home you are basing your theories on NOT EVERY HOSPITAL is like the ONE hospital you are basing your theories on. MOST nurses, doctors, pharmacists and key workers love the job they do because they care. Doctors are sworn to first rpeserve life under the Hippocratic oath - they would be struck off otherwise.

Basically what I am saying flow is while that may be your experience it is NOT THE NORM and you shouldn't be expounding it as such because it simply is not true
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My mom was healthy when she came to the hospital for the elective procedure that she had done. I know hospitals are not perfect and not always kept clean enough to not spread diseases and therefore people can get infections there. I just don't understand that when someone gets an infection at the hospital even if it starts out as a skin infection that is very treatable,then why not treat them in the beginning even if the person is an elder. She was treated by an excellent doctor and staff at one hospital after it got very serious. The treatment did not continue. It just was not worth it, better to kill her than treat her properly. I have heard from people telling me or reading comment that so many elders in the hospital are being ignored because it is not worth treating them and then pushed to die.
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I wish we would have stayed with that doctor but she was transferred to the hospital where she originally had the procedure. That was the worst mistake cause again like they did before they ignored her and purposely gave treated her to death. The other hospital with that great doctor and his staff were fantastic the icu was horrible at that hospital.They were the ones that were yelling out adivan and dnr at the same time when she was already in an overdose from that same deadly stuff. Then when I came in to see her unexpectedly the nurse looked at me nervously and said I could say no to the drugs this same situation happened at the hospital before that not in icu but when she was trying to recover from another overdose. You can not even leave for a second even if you tell the nurses she can not have deadly drugs and it is written in the chart it does not matter it will still be given when the guard leaves. The police will not help they tell you to go to the board maybe in England they do but not here. From what I have heard the board is there to protect the medical staff so who is there to protect the patients I cant think of anyone.
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Flowgo, sorry you and your mother had to go through so much torment with her healthcare situations. If medical malpractice was the cause, a good lawyer experienced on medical malpractice woild be a good option for you to pursue.
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Aps is useless there main objective is to make sure elders end up in nursing homes.If it does not involve a case where they can try to bully an elder into a nursing home then they are not interested.
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ArmyRetired I had a lawyer but he was not a criminal lawyer he was a malpractice lawyer he was a medical doctor and lawyer he started to take the case but we only have a year to file. He started working with me but when he found out my mom was killed he did not want to continue he worked in one of the hospitals that my mom was in for a brief stay.That one she was not drugged or hurt. At first when we started to talk about euthanasia he did not want to talk about it. I finally got him to talk about it. He admitted that he knows doctors that do that but he himself does not believe in it. I think there are too many lawyers who don't want to deal with this or anything that has to do with someone who is elder.I almost got a lawyer who specializes with elder abuse to take it but he said no, when my mom was overdosed he asked did you take her to the hospital I said yes and while she was recovering she was overdosed again. I told him I explained to the nurses that she cant have anymore drugs but I left for a second and came back to find her drugged and the nurses told me I could say no to the drugs. This was in her chart also. Anyway he said he could not take it after that. I guess it would not sound believable. If someone hit her in a nursing home and broke her ribs, a lawyer could take that kind of case if they could prove abuse. When an elder is euthanized simply for being an elder or if a patient is sick either or it is a very difficult case. There are other countries that do not put up with what they try to call mercy killings if they get caught Harsh punishments are handed out but not this country it is acceptable. The killer would have to be a compulsive serial killer before they would get caught in this country.The only way to help stop it is more laws need to be put in place to protect patients and residents in nursing homes. That is what I am trying to figure out.
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A little tip for anyone who has to take their elder or disabled or child loved one to the hospital or nursing home, never leave them alone. If you need to go to the bathroom then hopefully you can have another family member to watch them.All it takes is one second and your life is changed for ever in the worst way possible.I tell everyone this who takes their loved one to the hospital.I told one lady who had her new born in the hospital to never leave the baby alone.She also had her husband there part time and other friends that would give her bathroom breaks while they stayed with the baby.The nurses said she can go home but she stayed the entire time and today she has a very healthy, happy girl that is alive and well. I'm so glad she never left her baby alone.Life is too precious.
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Flowgo, I hope you are in therapy to deal with the pain of your experiences. It seems like it's too much to deal with. I hope you can take that step to allow yourself to heal, and not continue reliving it continuously. You don't deserve the pain of keeping that wound open and it will never undo anything. Please get some help.

Remaining stuck, reliving a traumatic event in life is not healthy. Nobody is ever prepared to lose someone dear, and you really do have to consciously work on getting your grief under control or your life will disappear before your eyes if you stay stuck there.

I know others have made the same recommendation to you, and I think it's really important to take that seriously.
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There was no reason for discussion with the doctor about these deadly kind of sedatives that were dangerous to her accept to tell doctor she cant take them.They should have not been given to her in the first place leave alone being stopped. It was not only because of her age but because of a sensitivity that she had to them, a double whammy. We already knew that she could not have these drugs so we tried over and over again to get the staff to hear us. All we wanted was just be able to say no to these deadly drugs, but the staff did not care. No to these drugs was in her chart also and her and I refused them. There was actually a time that she was in the hospital because of an overdoes that staff had given her and she was having complications from it. I told them the situation everything was in place for her not to get these drugs. I left for a second and she was in a serious overdose again,They told me I could say no to the drugs when I looked at them in shock after looking at my unconscious mom. Yet how are they allowed to continue this abuse.W.T.H and why are they allowed to put people in so much danger then kill them.
I just want to make people aware and protect their loved ones.That does not mean that I am a nurse or doctor hater. I have good friends who are in the medical field and are good people. I'm not saying they are all evil. We just have to depend on the staff being people with good morals or our life is in danger.That is why we need protection for patients and residents. Laws need to be enforced that way we will hopefully not be at the mercy of this kind of medical staff.
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Flowgo - you are picking at scabs, retelling this story over & over & over. It's called wound collecting and a good therapist can help you with it. It's unhealthy.
It's not really on topic for this thread and it's going to keep others from chiming in.

If you aren't going to the police or the board of health and doing something proactive about it, let it go. If the authorities won't take the case, you need to listen to them. I believe there is something else here that you simply are choosing to ignore or disbelieve to keep your version alive.

Regardless, if you don't have a question to ask and are just using the site to churn over the incident, that's not what the site is for. Your honest questions are definitely welcome, but not the ranting and preaching.
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sandwich42plus You don't understand and have no clue,cause you must have never had to deal with a loved one getting tortured then murdered and it was then swept under the table. Maybe you did but it did not matter to you. if you have not dealt with this then I guess I can understand your why you are so very unsensitive It is like someone who knows nothing about children and never had one yet they are telling people with children how to raise their kids makes about as much sense. I wish all I had to deal with was just grief of losing a loved one. but there is so much more than that that haunts me.I just want to find ways to help stop this kind of madness. If I can help others with it that is a little bit of therapy right there. I wish I would have seen comments like these and mine before my mom went to the hospital then I would have not been so naive. I feel very guilty that I was not able to stop them from stealing her life.
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The police will tell you to go to the board and the board is there to protect the doctors even serial killers are hard to deal with in the hospital. They would have to constantly kill before they get caught, look it up, so if it is not a serial killer they can care less. That is why I tell others before it happens to them. Are you the website police for this site.That is why you are able to tell me what I can and can not talk about. My questions and comments are primarily about medicines and that is what this question was about. So I am actually staying on the subject.
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NO Flowgo SANDWICH IS RIGHT - this is not the forum for your obvious torment. You DO need help to work your way through. ALL OF USS ARE FULLY aware of the risks with any care situation at home or otherwise. You spoke of a skin issue post op - this sounds like Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus MRSA to most. This isnt simply treated and especially not so in the elderly. If the bacteria passes through the skin it can cause endocarditis or blood poisoning bothof whihc would be lethal.

So please go and get some help to work your way through the issues. As you can do nothing other than warn others, be advised you have done that. Now you need to help yourself or you will stuck in this terrible situation forever and it will do you no good to dwell hun...you have to move on
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No Jude this is was not mersa, Mersa is bacteria, two doctors told me it was not mersa. It was a fungal skin infection that she got in the hospital.Obviously the good doctor knew what he was talking about because the correct anti-fungal med only was given to her and NO ANTIBIOTICS WERE USED DURING THE CORRECT TREATMENT.The good doctor and staff said that would make it worse cause it was a fungal infection only.Fungal infections can not be treated with antibiotic unless you want to kill the patient, especially if it has got that bad. Antibiotic can not only cause a fungal infection but it will multiply if you use antibiotics on someone with a severe fungal infection. It cleared up for the first time ever. Before treatment she was having problems breathing. She was swelling up from dying and her vitals were bad because of the last overdose and the infection that got worse.THE BEAUTIFUL DOCTOR AND STAFF SAVED HER. I wish she would have stayed there with these good people.The anti fungal treatment needed to continue.
Her doctor that did the procedure wanted to see her.She was transferred to that hospital. The new staff all knew better than to treat fungal with antibiotics. We had even talked about it what she had and they knew the correct treatment. It was even in her chart. I watched the nurse call the doctor to tell him. At the new hospital, the new doctors had a talk about not continuing her treatment because of her age. It was too much of a bother and waste of money not in those exact words but close enough. They said she was terminal from end stages of diseases she did NOT have. Before the coroner investigation these diseases showed up on her death certificate until the coroner corrected it.One thing that they said she had was end stages dementia. That was easy cause she was in the druginduced coma that she had been in for the last two weeks. She had been in it since the time she was overdosed which was about 2 weeks.That was the one where they were yelling out dnr and adivan at the same time even though she was already knocked out and that was the reason for her first entering the icu. Anyway when the doctors lied about her end stages diseases that she did not have they were able to get her in hospice to kill her. It was pretty obvious.There has been investigations done and they did confirm that she was given enough haldol adivan coctails to do great bodily harm and cause death. They said they put something in place in just one hospital. I want to find out about that cause it happened in another one also. I'm sure the sly ones will find ways of getting around it.
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I have kind of lost faith in humanity after this.I used to be a warm fuzzy happy go lucky kind of person that could always find the good in even the most awful person. I am having problems with that now. It is amazing how fast a persons world can come crashing down to the point of losing themselves.
It is you and sanwiches choice and others who don't understand to turn the other way in such a tragedy. I completely understand this. I appreciate that you tried to help, thank you for your kindness.This is too horrible of a situation to begin to wrap your mind around and I don't expect you to know how or even want to deal with this. I don't blame you. Consider yourself lucky enough that you have never had to experience anything like this personally.
I had gone to counseling before when I lost my dad and grandma I found it very helpful. It was such a different kind of death. I went this time also. I tried all kinds of counseling with so many different counselors with no relief. I just came out of there feeling like they did not understand no matter how much I went. I just got tired of going and not getting any help. It is like the vets trying to talk to people about the war. They feel like no one understands. They feel understood and comfortable talking to other vets. I finally found a counselor who specialized AND was actually good with traumatic events. She at least understood what I was going through. My counselor and I have concluded that any kind of closure is not something that I will get since the killers are still on the loose and not much was done.So I just have to try and deal and be a survivor of this horrible tragedy.That is all that can be done.I just have to to learn to live with this horrible suffering and everything that goes along with it.Usually people feel so strong when they survive something like I have in the past. I sure don't anymore. There is no end with the suffering.I have to accept that and figure out how our treatment of elders needs to change. That is what can help me.
I was able to accept and find closure with my dad and grandma other relatives and friends that I have lost. I was able to keep on living my life with of course pain at first but it did subside and time healed it.Non of those people had their lives taken. It is not the same. People say time heals all pain. I have to say that is not true in situations like this. Sometimes it last forever as in my case.
I am the kind of person that everyone could come to and talk about their troubles. I would listen and feel for them but at the end I was not the one that had to deal with the problems. I helped them but I was not them. I am not asking for help. I just want to be able to warn people and by me warning people and telling my experiences then, others who have been through similar situations can come forward. I do have a right to be here and find people who have had similar situations like me.That is what this site is about.We can help each other.
I know I was just a caregiver for a short time because my mom needed help during the medical abuse. I was taking care of her trying to save her from the haldol and adivan overdoses, you and sanwich and some of the others could find other conversations that would be more suitable for your personal situation and I can do the same. If someone want to offer me suggestions on the way I'm open. Who knows maybe I can form an online support group for people who have suffered the same situations like me. or talk about it here.
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Tell this probably well-meaning nurse to have that conversation with your mom's doctor. The nurse would like to experiment. What I'm not hearing from your post is that mom is doing poorly on her current meds. If mom is comfortable, leave her meds alone.
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Jude one more thing. My mom did NOT have endocarditis. She was in shock from the severe drug overdose. Drug overdose and sepsis(infections that get into the blood) are very similar symptoms. She was in the drug coma until they killed her at the other hospital.The drug overdose was why she went to icu That is where they were using her dnr to try to kill her with. They were giving her as many deadly sedatives and anything else that would work to kill her. No one knows how she survived. She was very strong, healthy and a fighter. Not even young people could have survived that.Just before going into icu before the overdose the good doctor was coming up with a treatment plan for her fungal infection on her shins. This was the first time it was looked at with a treatment plan. After the horrible experience in icu they got her out of there and went to a room for treatment.The infection had also got worse so the great doctor and his staff saved her by getting her vitals back to normal etc. They used aggressive iv anti fungal meds. for a couple of days. The infection cleared on her shins for the first time since she got it. Her vitals came back to normal and she was not swelled up anymore from dying.The treatment needed to continue for a couple of more weeks at least. I don't know how even a young person could have survived what she survived. That is fatal for most but she was so strong and a real fighter.Most people her age and with her sensitivity to drugs would have died long ago from the first horrible overdose she got.The investigators admitted that she had enough drugs on several occasions to cause great bodily injury and death. When she got the antibiotics at the other hospital and all of her treatment was stopped the skin infection got bad again. Everything happened all over again. Maybe doctors are allowed to do whatever treatment they want but when they know it is going to kill the person how can they be allowed to do that unless they are killers. ok I just wanted to clarify things so you could get a clearer picture.
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I GIVE UP I TRIED I GIVE UP

This is my last comment on it because you aint listening gal

Aging leads to variable physiological changes; older patients are more vulnerable to fungal infections. Elderly patients are more easily affected by pathogenic fungi and have a resultant higher mortality rates. IE FUNGAL INFECTIONS CAN BE FATAL IN THE ELDERLY AND THE TREATMENT, WHILE IT MAY CURE THE FUNGAL INFECTION CAN BE DOING UNDERLYING DAMAGE TO THE REST OF THE BODY - specifically but not limited to the lungs, the liver and the kidneys all of which can be fatal

Once you get into a cyclical sitauation in end of life care * and you said she was dying so she was in end of life care, you are NOT TRAINED, and CANNOT READ ENOUGH, to make you qualified to pass comment. A doctor who criticises another doctor has a duty to report controversial findings AND HE DID NOT DO THIS.

There comes a point where the medications required to deal with various problems WILL result in polypharmacy and at that point a doctor can and should decide whether to wiwithdraw medication. Having gone through the alternatives you make your own choice.

1 YOU SAY no you must continue to medicate
Result - increased tortuous pain as each organ begins in turn to fail. The liver and the kidneys bear the brunt of this and the pain is excruciating - I watched my father in agony so I do know what happens
2 The DOCTORS SAY we dont want to make the decision to stop medication because it will cause the person terrible pain we would like to stop the medication but use morphine - you should know however that this will kill the person eventually. What would you like us to do?

RESULT?
That gives you the choice to say continue to medicate see above problems or no kill them using morphine because make no mistake increased omorphone will kill them eventually - there is a tipping point at which morphine becomes lethal FOR EVERYONE

LIKE I SAID I GIVE UP ON THIS THREAD NOW BECAUSE IT IS POINTLESS TALKING TO SOMEONE WHO IS NOT PREPARED TO LISTEN OR UNDERSTAND BUT JUST WILL NOT LEAVE THE TOPIC ALONE
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Jude FIRST OFF THE POINT I WANT TO MAKE IS THAT THE HOSPITAL MEDICAL STAFF DID INDEED KILL MY MOM BY ABUSE AND NEGLECT WHICH WAS NO ACCIDENT.Had it not been from the abuse and neglect she would have survived and been here today with us. THIS IS WHAT MAKES THINGS SO BAD IS KNOWING THAT SHE HAD TO DIE FROM THIS FOR WHAT BECAUSE THEY DID NOT LIKE HER AGE AND SHE HAD A DNR TO MAKE IT EASIER TO GET AWAY WITH.

1. The first way was: drug overdoses done many times and constant drugs given to her that she could not have. It was explained to the staff, written in her chart explained to them and her and I also said she could not have these drugs. So there was no excuse for overdosing her and continuing on this road of destruction unless killing was their objective. No One in their right mind would do that.They also knew that due to her age and they were taking a tremendous risk.She had a D.N.R so it made everything so much easier.She was not expecting them to use it to take her life with though.That was not why she had it.

2. The second way was: severe neglect when it came to treating her fungal skin infection that she got from the hospital.They knew how to treat it because it was diagnosed but they chose not to even in the beginning.The infection started as a skin infection but got worse because of severe neglect. At the end as bad as it was it was still treatable.The good doctor and his wonderful staff proved that to be true. The treatment was to be continued by the hospital that her doctor was in.

Ok Jude you said that this is common for elders to get fungal infections I have also heard it is common in hospitals that don't worry about spreading infectious diseases. The doctor told me that is how she got it. This infection is not just for the elderly. Regardless of how she got it the solution should not be just let it go. Actually when she would come in to the hospital after the drug overdoses with complications she would get antibiotic. I don't understand that. This infection had been diagnosed yet it was not properly treated. Mass doses of antibiotics is not what I would call proper treatment especially for someone with a fungal infection. she had a skin fungal infection she got from the hospital and she was not getting treated for it then why on earth would antibiotic be given for it. it only made it worse that is why women tend to get yeast infections if they have been treated with antibiotics. Most doctors are very careful about prescribing antibiotics because it can actually cause fungal yeast infections.

Another thing you said that she was at the end stages of life why because she was constantly overdosed with deadly drugs that she could not handle and she contracted a fungal infection at the hospital that later got bad because she was so neglected and never treated for it not even fungal cream. The doctor said it was contracted in the hospital. Then in the mean time she is getting antibiotics whenever she would come in for complications of the drug overdoses. So I would have to disagree with you to her being at the end stages of her life.Not even close.You are way off sorry to tell you.


Im not sure what doctor you were referring to here

A doctor who criticises another doctor has a duty to report controversial findings AND HE DID NOT DO THIS.


As far as the meds go She was doing well with the anti fungal meds. Even though she was still in a coma from the last overdose. She was looking very peaceful and relaxed as she healed. Those were the most helpful drugs she had ever got.The treatment was not continued like it was supposed to.2 weeks at the minimal for someone anyone who has just suffered from that kind of an infection. It is the same thing as if I have an infection fungal or bacterial and I start to take my meds but don't finish them. My infection is going to come back most likely even worse then it started. That is why it is so important to finish the med treatment. She did not have that chance even though the anti fungal meds were helping her.The antibiotics are for sure not going to help a fungal infection unless they want the patient dead and that is what happened, the evils got their wish. She was in pain at the end cause she could not breath and swelling up because they were giving her poison for her condition. She was being forced to die with the antibiotics. It was a very sly way of doing euthanasia on an elder that the staff made sick with a curable infection that they chose to never treat, only with meds that will make the infection worse. Then all the overdoses.What a crying shame and waste of life. I wish the staff would get life in prison where they belong and really deserve. I try so hard to make sense of this disaster but its so much.I'm sure they had a stupid motive.Its too devastating. I have talked to nurses doctors pharmacists who did not understand why they did what they did to her, I try to talk to as many as I can to try and find answers but I'm not going to. I can't get inside the evils head and find out why and how etc. Well anyway thanks for trying to help.I know you would like to think the best of these totally evil staff as I would also, but they are who they are and just belong in prison.
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Flow go, your mom was in hospice. By definition, hospice is "comfort not cure."

You apparently did not have your mom's HCPOA or you would never have allowed her to be put in hospice. Someone else did. I can only imagine the bridges you've burned with your family as you continue to insist your mom was murdered. I am very VERY sorry.

You need counseling. I see you HAVE had counseling about this. You need more.
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maggie marshall The hospital had her close to death until she swelled up from dying and they were having problems keeping the antibiotics in the vein so hospice took care of that they used the vein in her neck and they were able to kill her pretty quickly.That was the comfort measures.This problem is too horrendous for counseling. I am still in shock over this and numb. I found out that I am not the only one who is not doing well with counseling. There was a guy that found his friend murdered and he also was never helped from counseling even with trauma treatment. Sometimes there is no help when the problem is this severe. I also know of vets that are not helped by canceling unless they go to a vet who has experienced the same thing they have. Counseling can help change behavior problems or help people cope and get through problems, but not all problems can be helped and solved.I wish it was that easy. What I'm going through will never have any kind of closure which makes it so difficult. Most of the counselors had no clue as to how to help me even the ones that specialize in traumatic events. The last one who is really good with trauma events kind of helped some at least she understood that this kind of thing happens. Had it just been a death of a loved one like my dad and grandma I definitely could have got help from counseling. I did go through some counseling after my grandma and dad passed and it helped me a lot. I was able to cope with the pain and move on. This one is just beyond belief No amount of counseling is going to help me cope or make sense of all of this,not even close. I need to find laws to protect patients in hospitals and laws need to be reinforced and criminals need prison time.This would be the best therapy.
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So Flowgo, google "medical malpractice".
Find an attorney in your area and retain them.
Good luck with your case.
I'm afraid nobody here has a way to make anything better for you.
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We should all note that Flowgo has been struggling with this murder situation since 2011. That is a very long time.
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Try a different counselor, seriously.

You did not kill your mom. I think from your description the hospice did not do things the way you would have liked them done and yes, she died more quickly than she would have if you had full say so. I had to ask specifically at my moms hospice to continue meds that were not related to comfort care because they typically stop as many meds as possible..they are almost obligated to stop curative-aimed treatment of the underlying condition, but that can get into stopping quality of life treatments too. And terminal sedation does hasten death though that is not the prime intention. Their intent may not have been evil. They may have thought the goal was simply to get it over with as quickly and painlessly as possible and that was not your goal...it was not mine either.

I did let them stop her antiplatelet agents. They were not really working very well if at all, grant you that, but still I often think maybe we should not have and maybe she would have stabilized for a few days more and maybe we would have gotten to go see the Penguins at the zoo. I am not totally sure why I let them because I insisted on keeping her Sinemet because it helped her do the little,she was still able to do. And I said no to the morphine and phenergan they wanted to give round the clock, while I became very glad it was available when she had angina again and again, and we could not give any more nitroglycerin...bear in mods I am a medical person and knew more of,what each med did and did not do. Be that as it may, I did not "do everything possible" to keep her alive longer iwhe. It seemed inhumane and that weighed on me for a while.

There may or may not be any legal recourse now for their disregard for your wishes. If you can list anything you wish you had done differently and share it, and forgive yourself, maybe you can begin to forgive the failures of the hospice staff too. You probably wish you knew and could have convinced them not too have stopped the anti fungal medicine - she could have been more alert and more comfortable and maybe lived a little longer too. But you did not have either the power or the knowledge to do that at the time. For better or worse it is water under the bridge. Hating on these people is eating you alive though and forgiveness is not something you do for THEM it is something you do for YOU. And it does not preclude prosecuting or filing suit or complaint to office of long term care...in fact it would.help you to do it more objectively. You just have to ask yourself why you are so hurtfully and painfully obsessed for these several years versus able to do what is possible to do here and now, and begin to let go of the things that can't be changed. You have to ask, realistically, how much longer she would have lived if everything had been done.

My own answer to,that question...with anti platelet agents and EECP... Well, maybe a week, maybe a month, maybe none or maybe even less with the EECP as it's risky with peripheral vascular disease as my mom had. I went to the place where they did that just to see would it be feasible, what would it be like to have her on that table with the big wraps on her legs and it just seemed wrong and we did not do it. They had no objection to continuing a high dose of Ranexa because it was to prevent pain from angina. We stayed with that and it eventually quit working. I made the decision too not to go back to the hospital anymore, after the last time when all the meds including IV nitroglycerin could not really fix it. Second guessing hurts but what people,told me here was if you know in your own heart you did what you thought was kindest and best and respectful of wishes expressed (my mom said no CPR and to a couple other things) then you did Right even if you were not "right" about something.

And, if my mom had gone on to total blindness and total inability to swallow before she died, that would have been worse for her. I almost forgot about that too while I was really stuck in guilty second guessing mode...

If you feel that in order to honor your loved one, your message must be that hospices all kill people and no one should ever use one then you will be beating your head on the wall because this message will not be accepted universally. Too many people had good experiences and real help. Too many people had no real conflicts even as I did....

Finally if letting go of any of it is not anything you an do, at least turn away from repeating and ruminating here and put energy into a right to live type of effort or organization. I hope something we can say or more importantly that you can think or do differently begins to help you.
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That is true sandwich it has not got any better.Time does not heal all pain like this. Some pain, one just has to try and learn to deal with it however that works.

In our area you only have a year to do a malpractice case. My lawyer did not want to take it after he found out that euthanasia/murder was done. He was a medical/doctor also who worked in one of the hospitals that my mom was in. Not the one that hurt her and killed her. He was too uncomfortable about taking the case and dropped it after we talked about the euthanasia. He did tell me that he knows people who do use euthanasia but he did not believe in it for himself.Thank God for morals, so at least some can make it out alive.Staff need to keep an eye on people who kill patients.The main cases that are taken in medical malpractice cases are where one thing happened and the patient is alive and will need medical help for what problem the medical staff caused him. A fund for medical costs is set aside for him.I did get another lawyer who was a wrongful death lawyer and was ready and willing to take the case. It was the day before it turned one year, but when he found out that our time would run out the next day he could not get it ready that fast.There is only a year for wrongful death also. I think there is more time in a nursing home.If it is true murder then there should not be a statue of limitations. I'm not sure if this state would consider murder in the hospital a true murder or just euthanasia even though both are murder however how you look at it.Maybe it would be and age discrimination that resulted in murder. most age discrimination cases are for employment discrimination only.These hospital criminals may have got away with murder which is just sickening.
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vstefans HAD SHE NEVER STEPPED FOOT INTO THOSE HOSPITALS SHE WOULD HAVE STILL BEEN HERE TODAY.
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She had TWO things WRONG ONLY NEITHER WAS LIFE THREATENING. maybe the drug overdose that they gave her, but they should have let her try to recover from that it may have not been fatal.IT WAS MOSTLY THE LAST HOSPITAL THAT KILLED HER HOSPICE JUST FINISHED IT OFF.

She also had a fungal skin infection that they gave her at the hospital. They never treated it and it finally did get pretty bad. The other hospital saved her from it with
ANTIFUNGAL MEDS. unfortunately we brought her back to the other hospital so her doctor who originally did her elective procedure could have a look at her.That was our fatal mistake had I known that they were going to continue on with antibiotics and cut off her fungal meds when she arrived she would have stayed in the other hospital. I would have insisted on it. I should have realized that this hospital (the original hospital) had never helped her before with this infection that they gave her. So why would they start now. I also found out that the infection had been diagnosed in the beginning but yet no treatment had ever been given to her. The only reason I can think of is because she was elder with a DNR cause DNRS are now being used so the medical staff do not have to do anything at all.

I am the kind of person who ALWAYS GIVE PEOPLE THE BENEFIT OF THE . DOUBT. I HAVE TRIED TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO THINK MAYBE IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. NO, I CANT FOOL MYSELF NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. YOU KNOW HOW HARD THIS IS TO THINK THAT PEOPLE WHO ARE PAID TO CARE FOR AND HELP PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY TAKING LIVES INSTEAD, THEY TOOK HER LIFE FOR NO REASON AT ALL. WHAT DID SHE EVER DO TO DESERVE HAVING HER LIFE STOLEN AWAY FROM HER. THE ANSWER IS NOTHING. SHE WAS THE BEST WOMAN YOU COULD EVEN KNOW.I WISH I WAS ABLE TO STOP THE MADNESS BEFORE THEY KILLED HER. IT WAS PURE EVIL.
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Seriously vstefans "Try a different counselor" really. I finally found one after being through many counselors and many hours accomplishing nothing.This one I can actually work with. This situation is not a situation that is going to be helped with even counselors like mine who deal with trauma events. Even trauma treatment does penetrate. That is supposed to have helped a lot of soldiers but does not seem to be helping me. Like I mentioned before it did not help a guy who found his good friend murdered. Maybe the murderers got away with that murder also. Here I am today as in as much shock and horror as when it first happened. I'm not sure if the shock will ever go away.
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correction does not penatrate
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