I have taken my husband to his medical doctor for personality changes. I come home one day to find him hiding in the bushes trying to catch me cheating on him and him accusing me of having sex with all his co workers on a construction site. He said they told him they were in our house so he figured he would catch me . The doctor did all kinds of blood work and a few test they referred us to a neurologist . The neurologist also did some test and MRI which showed normal. But his behavior still has been bazar he seems okay for the most part but even if we go to a restaurant and the server says people kill for this he takes it literally or offensive. And thinks woman bending over infront of him is done purposely to entice him and get him in trouble . A set up if you will . I’m still thinking dementia but I don’t know they tested for everything including metals in his blood from contaminated job sites . All clean blood except Lyme disease but the doctor said it’s not an active infection. He said he had Lyme disease at some point .But stated he don’t need antibiotics.
While you are pursuing doctor's testing in search of a diagnosis, I would ask if they can do a drug or tox screen as well. Perhaps his drug of choice has been adulterated with other substances. His "friends" or co-workers could have exposed him to another substance. People who "like to get high" often experiment with other substances, or assume others want to try something new.
Also, consider a psych evaluation. He could have developed a mental illness, and the drug use could exacerbate it.
I'm sure you are concerned for him, but remember to protect yourself, if his behavior becomes unsafe for either of you. He may need to be placed in a care setting for his safety, and for yours! You may need to leave the house and the relationship, so at least be prepared for that if it happens.
With the help of a friend or family member, keep some clothes, important documents, and some money at their house, without raising your husband's already unreasonable suspicions, just in case you need to make a quick exit.
After total medical workups for possible reasons, CT and MRIs of his brain, nothing substantial was found (other than normal aging). Even Stanford came up empty. I suspected a brain anuerism, since his sister had one that caused a stroke.
I've read plenty about dementia, certain things seem to fit, but I'm still not convinced. He's been getting his car lost in parking lots for 15 years. After he lived here 3 years, I believe deep down he is running a game 90% and is just an old, lazy and selfish senior the rest of the time. What we describe here often as a Senior Brat.
I'd also suspect drugs, but he has no access or connections. I personally think PSTD from combat in Vietnam. That alone would blow anyone's mind. My Dad (Army Colonel) said they never debriefed those returning vets at all.
He certainly needs followup by experts here!
As several have pointed out this could well be Schizophrenia or bi-polar mental illness.
The Lyme disease would be an infectious disease specialist or possibly a rheumatologist.
The OP should definitely take her husband to see a Lyme disease specialist. That would be my first step.
I agree with you here about drug use. Ex would use drugs to medicate the symptoms of schizophrenia along with abusing alcohol. The hospital would have to detox him first before starting treatment for the schizophrenia. He was a heavy Marijuana user while in high school.
The psychiatrist admitted him to the psych ward to get his condition under control. He had three hospitalizations while we were married.
I've seen it all even the extreme paranoia that eventually lead to domestic abuse. The accusations of having other men and me stealing the rent money even though I paid the rent, and paid all the bills with my own hard earned money!
Anything is possible. I have a niece that was misdiagnosed and was later discovered in her mid forties as bipolar disorder.
Oh, my ex husband could function normally at work and out in public at times as well. Even appear normal at home except during those scary flareups.
I finally contacted my Employee Assistance Program at work and got us both into therapy. He was referred to a psychiatrist by our therapist who diagnosed him with paranoid schizophrenia. His condition was regulated for awhile until he would stop taking his medication again. Then those symptoms would come back full blast. It was so bad, we ended up separating and getting a divorce. I couldn't deal with the paranoia any longer and the fear of being attacked.
Untreated bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and other organic mental illnesses causing a chemical imbalance in the brain can lead to delusional beliefs and paranoia to the extremes. I would seek out a psychiatrist since the neurologists couldn't find anything.
I don’t know anything about Lyme disease or how likely it could be the cause of your husband’s problems but in case you decide to look into that further this website looks reputable and has a search function to find local providers:
https://projectlyme.org/
Thinking of you.
As a retired RN it would be pure guessing and conjecture on my part to even hazard a guess. I wouldn't try.
What does your father's doctors say about next steps at this point?