I’m watching her 8 hrs a day while my wife works at the Pharmacy. I have to keep an eye on her every minute. If I go to the bathroom I come out and she’s trying to cook which I told her not to. She puts her hand on or near the stovetop. My wife and I are trying to get her into a facility but this couldn’t be a worse time.

Bless you for helping her. You are right about the timing, but, I think I would still pursue help. How long can you and your wife provide around the clock care? You are right to not let her out of sight. She sounds pretty spry for a 94 year-old. With my LO, I turned off the breaker box for the stove, washer, dryer, and dishwasher, removed the electric can opener, coffee pot, etc. even, though, she didn't try to use them. I'd secure other stuff too, like cleaners, medications, scissors, knives, etc. since she could misuse them. It's very much like watching a toddler. They can get into anything in a moment's time. My LO would just start going through a closet or drawer for no reason and making lists for things she didn't need. It was quite stressful. I hope you can take some breaks. As you know, doing this long term with no breaks is very exhausting. Before Covid, I would have said, get backup help to come and help you. You still can, but, you have to survey the risks of others coming into the home. I know some people who are still having that done, because, there is no other choice.
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Reply to Sunnygirl1
lealonnie1 May 13, 2020
Oooh, that's a good idea to turn off the breaker box for the appliances! Brilliant!
Can you take the knobs off the stove? If not, look into getting the child-proof knobs you can place OVER the existing knobs that make it impossible for your MIL to turn them on.

It's an ongoing lesson in patience and a real challenge to figure out what an Alzheimer's sufferer will get herself into next, isn't it?

There are Memory Care Assisted Living Facilities (ALFs) that are accepting new intakes at this time. Do your around; ask about whether or not the virus has hit their place, and if not, ask about getting your MIL in asap. Even if the virus DOES hit the ALF, that doesn't necessarily mean your MIL will get it. A positive case will be quarantined according to strict rules and regulations from the State on the matter, so an outbreak CAN be contained. I agree with you, however, that now is not the ideal time to place a loved one, that's for sure. My own 93 y/o mother lives in a Memory Care ALF and so far, they've had no cases of the virus.

Go over to and read all about the disease and what to expect. Teepa Snow has some excellent videos on YouTube as well; they are short, funny and very informative as well. The key to the castle here is to try keeping MIL distracted. If she needs to keep her hands busy, you can get her a fidget blanket on Amazon at:

Wishing you the best of luck moving forward, my friend.
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Reply to lealonnie1

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