I’m taking care of my mother in law. She can’t walk or take care of herself. I had to quit nursing school to care for her. Any advice?

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I tried applying for Medicaid 3 times now. She’s $43 over the limit to qualify. Her insurance she has (worst ever) won’t pay for half of her meds or any of the medical equipment. I’m having to pay for all of that plus her supplies. She only makes $1243 a month on her SSI and I have a caregiver coming 2 days a week just so I can get the grocery shopping done. I have to lift her constantly and it’s getting to the point that I just can do it physically or mentally anymore. I’ve tried everything to get her help to get into a nursing home but get denied by the Medicaid department each time. I’m exhausted and mentally just can’t do it anymore. She takes 24 hour care and it’s just too much for one person to do. How can I get help for her when the state of Nevada says she doesn’t qualify for anything. She just got out of the hospital due to her diabetes and I asked the social worker for help and all she told me was go talk to Medicaid. I explained that I had with no luck. I told this woman I just can’t do it anymore and she needs to go to a home. She said there was nothing she could do. I’m at my wits end and crying everyday. My mental health is failing and definitely my physical health is failing as I can barely walk upright from all the lifting. What can I do other than suicide at this point. I can’t do it anymore but I have nowhere to get help to figure it out. We are paying out a lot for her supplies as well. I’m afraid we’ll eventually lose our home. Please help me. I need her to go into a home but literally have nowhere to turn.

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Please don't give up, Lemonsdrop! As the above answers mentioned, there are things you can do, steps you can take to get your MIL onto Medicaid and hopefully into care so that this huge burden is no longer on your shoulders.

Hang in there for now!
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Reply to SnoopyLove
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Alfred...sorry did not see your post before I posted my response. Great advice.
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Reply to Dusti22
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Lemonsdrop...first hang in there. Do not give up. You don't mention your age but caregiving is hard at any age (I was a caregiver for my parents when I was in my early 30's and have been a caregiver to my honey, in one form or another for 27 years. For the last 13 years I have been his full time caregiver and am now 24/7 due to his heart issues.... I am nearly 67).

You said you are in Nevada. Here is some info that I hope will help.

-www.nevada211.org/ (based on their site, they provide help connecting with different services)

-http://dhhs.nv.gov/Find_Assistance/Assistance/

Here is the url for the "page" that I found the above info on: www.bing.com/search?q=crisis+assistance+in+nevada&form=EDGTCT&qs=PF&cvid=e911b938c6fc45abb85564cd60a24d28&cc=US&setlang=en-US

(I have not dealt with any of these but hopefully they can help or get you to who you need to talk to) If these don't help please let me know and I will do some more research for you.

And I believe one of the most important phone numbers is the suicide /crisis line. 800-273-8255. It is free and confidential and they may know of other options/help that I have not been able to find.

This forum is wonderful as well with a bunch of wonderful caring people. Before I found this forum I was ready to run down the street screaming. They have helped me a great deal and hopefully I have been able to help some of them. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing. You are not alone.
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Reply to Dusti22
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I sure hope you take Alfred’s advice.
This problem can be taken care of.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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Did Medicaid tell you about a Miller Trust, or a Qualified Income Trust? If someone earns over the monthly maximum, a trust is set up to receive all of the individual's income. The nursing home is paid from the trust, with Medicaid paying for the balance. This should definitely work for you, but you may need to consult with an elder law attorney to set up the trust.
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Reply to AlfredR
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Lemonsdrop, in the question you state that you are taking care of your MOTHER-IN-LAW and on your profile page, you state that you are taking care of your MOTHER. Who are you taking care of? If it is your MIL, is your husband trying to help you find a nursing home for his Mom? Who has Durable POA and POA-Healthcare for this person?

You sound very desperate and I hope that we can help you feel better. Later on today, check your profile page for a message.
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Reply to DeeAnna
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