Help! I'm stuck in neutral...what's next?

Thank you everyone!!
SO many similar stories let me know I'm not alone!!
Especially the ones that tell of "normal" behavior with others !wow!
Today has been terrible...in the ER again!!
Found out mom broke her toe and no one knows how...especially mom!! Sigh!!

Hang in there dear. It is all part of the progression Of dementia. Some good days, Some not so much. You can only do what you can do. Don't judge yourself harshly. If professionals have a hard time agreeing on symptoms, don't expect Dr Quinn Medicine Woman from yourself. Just love the good times because those are what your memories are going to be based on. I hope your Mom heals soon and please try to get your own rest and take care of yourself.

don't beat yourself up about not recognizing the dementia. My grandmother hid hers so well, we didn't realize for 8-10 years. She seemed stable for a really long time, it wasn't until we noticed she was having difficulty managing money; she had done so well in the past. As her dementia progressed, we began noticing other things, agitation in late afternoon and evening, change in appetite, increase in hording behaviors, letting others do tasks for her (which was so unlike her), etc. Then she started to have some medical issues and her confusion increased, she would burn pots & pans and throw away the coffee part parts. We worried she would burn the house down and hurt herself so she moved in with my parents and I helped to care for her for a while. Once her dementia progressed to the point of hallucinations, up all night, refusal to eat or bathe I knew we needed more assistance. It was then my dad made the difficult decision to place her in a nursing home. I was there 5 days a week and my parents would visit on weekends. People are very good at hiding their shortcomings by joking or saying they will do it later or come up with an excuse that sounds plausible. Purchase some small plastic totes (like shoe boxes) or use any other type of box. go through mail and other papers, label the boxes, deal with now, save, throw away, deal with later for anything that can wait for 1 month. Once you have everything sorted, the deal with now box; sort into folders for each, health insurance, medicare statements, life insurance, bank statements, hospital bills etc. do the same with the deal with later box. I know this is time consuming but necessary so you can get a picture of her business. Contact your local area aging on aging and ask about their caregiver support services, especially the respite. You can use respite to assist you until the doctor completes the forms for the attendant program. Ask them if there is an adult medical day care, then see if you can get your mom in. It's a great program and it gives you time to do what you need to do for you. I know it can be frustrating, but you are not alone. There are many first time caregivers and it can be overwhelming. Utilize all the assistance you can find. If your mom is still able to discuss her medical wishes, such as the kind of care she would want should she be unable to communicate, ask her now. This will help you later on down the road when these decisions need to be made. Ask questions anytime, there are many caregivers on this site. Don't know if what I said will help, but good luck. You can do this.