I've been caring for my mom for a year and a half. I am chronically ill myself. I never thought this would be so hard. I'm so depressed and angry. My mom never speaks to me, ever. I'm lucky if I get a hello. It feels like she hates me, but she won't say a word to me most days, so I have no idea how she feels. My sisters will drop off food but won't help with much else. Taking care of my mom has made my health plummet. I feel like I'm going to die way before she does now, but I don't know what to do. I feel so guilty, but I want to walk away and leave it to my sisters to deal with. I'm beyond depressed and feel so trapped.

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You say “I want to walk away and leave it to my sisters to deal with”. Why haven’t you done just that?
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to MargaretMcKen

You are not obligated to provide the hands-on care for your mom, or anyone, especially if you yourself are ill. Grandma1954's advice is solid.

Are any of you PoA for your mom?
Does your mom seem to have symptoms of cognitive or memory impairment?
Does she have a diagnosis of cognitive or memory impairment in her medical records?
Do you and your siblings have an idea of her financial means to pay for hired care?
Who's home is she living in: yours or hers?

Answers to these questions would help us to support you in working through next moves.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Geaton777

You need to begin a family discussion about your health concerns, your health needs.
Make it VERY clear that you can no longer care for mom.
Options would then be:
**Hire caregivers that will come in and care for her. Probably not ideal since her mistreatment of you will continue. (If your mom is cognizant and fully knows what she is doing this is emotional / mental abuse that you are experiencing)
**Mom can move in with one of your siblings. Or each sibling take mom for a month or two. (My guess is they will not want that to happen)
**Begin looking for Assisted Living or other facility for her. If mom has health conditions that would make AL not an option a Skilled Nursing facility would be what you would be looking for.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Grandma1954

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