My dad passed in 2005. We took a second mortgage out and put an addition on my home for her with the agreement she would pay her share. At the time she was in her 50's. We had an awesome relationship and I foolishly thought this was going to be a cake walk. She's very dependent and our relationship has turned from her being the mom to me being more of the mom. I'm 48 now and she needs help with everything. From her bills, to figuring out her phone. She won't try. She just gives up and it drives me nuts. I've had to refi my house now twice because she couldn't afford the payments. Now we have a bigger house, which means a larger property tax, higher heat (which she now can't afford to help with) etc. If I could go back in time I NEVER would have put the addition on. We were all set to pay our house off when my husband retires in four years and now I'm struggling to pay more towards our mortgage so that we can do that. It looks like we'll probably have to pull from retirement to pay off the addition. She's blissfully unaware of all of this. I'm angry because of what this has done to us financially. I'm angry because of the loss of privacy. She'll just stroll through the house and come look out my windows while I'm trying to work. Or sit on my couch and watch tv while I'm working. While that doesn't sound bad....I miss privacy. I want my own house where I don't have to worry about someone just strolling through whenever. She's never lived alone. After my dad died she didn't create her own life. She just kind of latched on to mine. She has no hobbies or friends. She's incredibly introverted, but can't really amuse herself. I feel so bad writing this, but it feels so good to get it out. I feel guilty if I want to go on vacation with my husband and son. I can't afford to pay for her to go and sometimes I just want it to be the three of us. Or if we wanted to go out to dinner I feel like I have to ask her to go too. It feels like she is my second kid and its overwhelming. Sometimes it feels like I'm drowning. She would just rather me do everything and when I call her on it she just says she can't help it. She raised me and her mom didn't live with her. She had the freedom to go and do stuff with her own family that I feel like I didn't get. I feel horrendously guilty if I want to go somewhere alone with my son and just hang out him and I. I end up making an excuse why she can't go because I know if I say that I just want to hang out him and I it will hurt her feelings and I don't want to do that. She's very sweet natured and goes with the flow. I feel like I've made her sound awful, but she really isn't. She's just incredibly dependent on me and suffocating. I've got a huge lump in my throat just typing this all out. I feel like the worst daughter ever.