I'm so exhausted.

I can't tell you how many times I have heard on here that someone kept an endless bedside vigil, only to have the loved one pass when they left the room briefly.

Try not to wear yourself thin.

We come into this world alone and we leave it the same way. It is true that many people wait until they are alone before they go to their peace and reward.

Take a day off or a few hours here and there if you can. Also your mom may be holding on and not passing over to her people on the other side because you are there with her all the time.

Take a little time away. Go for a drive or for a coffee.

God bless you and your mother. Soon she will be beyond all pain and suffering.

This is definitely the place for cathartic prattle. Even the strongest, most stoic person can break down in a situation like this. Take care of yourself as much as you are able. Take any offers for help from friends, family, etc. This is not something to tough out alone.

Wishing peace to both of you.

Only feed her if she says she is hungry and she asks for food. Digestion stops when the body prepares to die and that food is just going to sit there and possibly be painful for her. I get completely that the family gets anxiety by not feeding the dying person, but that is how it works when the body is shutting down.

There's no reason that you have to keep vigil at her bedside waiting for her to die, as that would be exhausting.
So try best you can to do other things including getting out of the house to do things you enjoy, even if it's just to take a walk to enjoy the beautiful fall weather.
Your mom may not want you to be near when she takes her final breath and that's ok, as everyone should be able to die on their own terms.
The fact that your mom is still eating means she's not quite ready to die yet, so don't rush the process. The Good Lord will take her when it's her time and not before.

My late husband was under hospice care in our home for the last 22 months of his life and when I knew that he was finally in his dying process, hospice told me that he would be dead in 3 days, but it took him 41 days with no food and over 25 days with no water before he finally did die. And yes that too was exhausting, but I did try to keep myself busy and even get out occasionally even if it was just to go to the grocery store.

Praying for God's peace and comfort to be with you in the days, weeks and months ahead.

I am so sorry. Yes, it is not predictable, and people can actually last a long time on minimal amounts of food and fluid. Your Hospice is best guide in what is happening with your own Mom. Very sorry this is so tough on you, but you have done such a good job.

My condolences on what your mom and you are going through, Tryingmybest19. I do agree with others who recommend you step away, take a break. Many people do wait to breathe their last when others are with them. It's okay to take care of you.

I recommend watching this video now, "The First Thing To Do When Someone Dies" by Dr. Sarah Kerr, Center for Sacred Deathcare.

I desperately wish I had known of this video before I sat vigil when my mom was unconscious for almost three days before she passed. This video has brought me so much peace.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7mG0ZAym0w

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I am as well, although not up to the hospice stage yet. It is a meat grinder and I'm glad that you shared. We are often stronger than we think we are.

<((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))

There are signs that you can look for
Mottling of the feet, hands legs...
A change in breathing.
As difficult as it is to hear the change in breathing is not painful.
What happens is there is a build up of secretions and because the person usually does not swallow there is a "gurgling" sound. Kinda like a gargle with a thick liquid.

Check YouTube and look for Hospice Nurse Julie.
She gives a lot of good information.
((hugs))