I'm so burnt out & frustrated...I don't know what to do.
My mom has been placed in hospice care in our home after a week in the hospital, the doctors there recommended it. She has end stage COPD which is simply awful. The hospice people are great, she's taking pain meds that help with her breathing. She gets so out of breath that she doesn't want to move from her chair...ie go to the portable basin toilet. So now she has decided that she doesn't want to drink as much water. Only enough to take her medicine. She just was diagnosed with kidney stones this summer and I had to call the ambulance for that. It was awful for her. I raise my voice in utter frustration because she's not drinking the F*ing water and she KNOWS she needs to. I'm losing it. And due to her pain meds, she has to take meds to keep her bowels moving too and her meds for that give her stomach cramps. I told her I was going to tell the hospice nurse who is coming tomorrow and she told me that she hates it when I interfere. I just about snapped. WTF? I am doing all that I can, dealing with the grief of her being in hospice, trying to help her at every turn....and working a full time job (which thankfully I can do from home). Please, I need some advice....I feel so frustrated and angry.
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We were just having that very conversation about my dad saving all his ugliness just for us. Ugh!
4 years, you are a hero! Please take some time and get your balance. At this point things can change faster then we can adjust and it is important to remember that you matter as well.
Hugs. You got this, you can do it and come out okay on the other side. I hope and pray that your mom can find comfort, that copd is nasties, nasty.
Get a good nights rest and find someone to give you a day.
It is a difficult situation to go through.
She may end up with kidney stones, can I recommend giving her distilled water, it can lessen the chances of stones. Also, high doses of magnesium are really good for constipation and it doesn't cause cramping.
Does she understand that the help you provide is essentially interfering, sheesh she can't have it both ways, if you help her you need to be involved 100%, for your sanity, maybe you can take a respite day and get back in balance. Ask hospice about it, they should be able to help you.
Ask the nurse to explain to your mom how blessed she is that you are there for her, some people put their moms in a hospice facility and they get to be cared for by strangers most of the time. Maybe she doesn't get it. Most senior citizens tend to get self centered and selfish, I don't know why, end of life issues I'm sure. Makes it hard on the ones giving up their entire lives to help. It is a thankless job for sure.
Get someone to come in and deal with her for a day, please find a way. It will help you beyond belief. No doubt you are all awash in overwhelming emotions that need to have fresh air and sunshine.
Take care of yourself during this hard time and be gentle and forgiving with yourself as well.
Hugs for all you do!