I think I need professional help. What type of professional do I look for that can help me deal with being the care taker of my parents with dementia? Today I go take care of my parents and the anxiety I feel each day is unbelievable. It happens every morning that I go help them and even when I don't have to go. I shake so uncontrollably..that it scares me driving the hour to reach them. I never know what I'm going to face when I get there. Either a great deal of poop of my moms to clean off her and everything she sat on, or my dad forgetting an important discussion or just forgetting simple but important things. They refuse to move to assisted living or memory care. I always had my dad help me with my mom and her dementia. Esp her refusal to take a shower or use the toilet. It's a battle to get her to do either of those things. I don't understand why the toilet is the enemy to her...other than it's the part of her brain that reasons wrong from right that is affected by her dementia. She would prefer to go in her depends.
My dad's memory has gotten progressively worse over the past 2 months and it's happening fast!! So now I have both of them to care for. I am losing myself and so filled with anxiety that other than taking care of them, I cannot function. They finally agreed to some home care and I thought things would be easier for me. It's not. I am coordinating home care, physical therapy for my mom before she becomes confined to a wheelchair or bed. Wound care for her foot. Got a paramedic group in their county to come out and give my mom her first covid shot. I have a repairman coming to fix their washer today. I am on the phone constantly when I'm not with them. I worry about them all the time!!! I can't stop!!! Now I'm having trouble convincing myself to shower and my home needs cleaning so bad. I feel like any minute something bad is going to happen to them. I feel as though my life will consist of taking care of them, then my step mom and finally then I will die. That's all that's left for me. I don't enjoy anything that I used to and don't want to even leave my house if I can avoid it. I myself am on disability because of half a dozen autoimmune diseases. I am not an only child. My sister lives 10 min from them but doesn't help at all. She set her boundaries early on and has stuck to them. My step brother lives in another state and even though he is 65, has the mind of a 16 year old. He wants to come home but no one but my sister ( his half sister) has room for him. She set her boundaries on him a very long time ago and wants nothing to do with him. I'm the only one that has helped him and kept in touch with him for over 40 years. I've had a sister die of suicide, a brother die of Hep C and liver failure. My biological dad passed immediately following heart surgery. My step mom is wonderful and wants me to visit but I don't have myself together enough to make the 4 hour drive. I'd be miserable company as well. I need help. I am on antidepressants and only buspar for anxiety. That doesn't touch it. My psychiatrist has been the same for the past 30 years and I feel like he doesn't hear me anymore. What type of therapist should I see that can dive deep into my situation right away and help me help my parents and myself??? I thank anyone in advance that can help me in this situation where there is no happiness to be seen anytime in the future.