I am severely depressed after caregiving my Mom for the past 6 years. Any advice?

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She is now in nursing home a year now. Now my significant other is very ill with liver disease. Too much to bear. I have been off of work on disability pay for 2 years now as it was impossible to take care of mom and my job is very demanding. Have suffered financially with no help from siblings. They both live out-of-state and understand them not being able to help day to day but I pleaded with them to just give me a weeks vacation once a year since my caregiving began. They would not even answer my texts. It is the abandonment that hurts sooo much. I almost lost my house but have rented out for the time being as I am caregiving my significant other now. I do not want to sound selfish but my well is totally empty so to speak. I have lost myself. Now my disability thru work, which has been a blessing, still hard though as it is 50% of my pay is ending and they are helping me apply for social security disability which looks like it will be a positive outcome. I feel like such a loser and more depressed going this route. I am a people person and miss social contact so much but feel I have so much healing to do. My dr just prescribes medication and is not interested in talking. I pray that God takes me. Emotional pain too much to bear. And now my significant other is also very depressed. Any validation of my feelings and/or advice would be much appreciated. Sincerely, Nancy

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Yeah...I know. I posted one question and people are so wonderful to me. This is a great place.
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I am just amazed at the support and resources I am receiving from everyone!!! Thanks so much!!!
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Oh honey. I am so sorry for what is going on here. You're stronger than I am, for sure. Does your employer provide an employee assistance program for counseling? Or would you still qualify? I'd seriously consider looking into it. It would provide you with a wealth of support.

I don't have siblings or anyone that COULD help me, so I guess it infuriates me even more that your siblings won't even respond to your pleas for help. I can't imagine speaking to them anymore. That kind of abandonment would just be too much for me.

Hugs and prayers-
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nalexander, you have had so much from 6 years of being a caregiver..no wonder you are feeling burned out. But remember, there is only so much you can do and you have been a very wonderful daughter to endure 6 years of providing long term care to your mom and now a very loving significant other. Remember how his siblings ignore your text? But you, you stayed with him and is struggling so much to get through it, you are trying to perform many tasks at one time and that could be very draining. Please do not forget that caregivers need care for themselves too. Try looking for government programs that can help cover long term care expenses for your significant others. If you still feel depressed and stressed, there are caregiver support organizations to help you cope up with your responsibility, check this list:
infolongtermcare.org/senior-caregiver-support/elderly-caregiver-support-organization/
It contains the contact details of the organization as well so you can reach out to them. Good luck and God bless you...
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I also agree that if an antidepressant is strongly recommended by doctor it is wise to take it. Like everything else in life it 's a personal choice.
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Hi everyone! Thanks again for so many words of encouragement! No one truly understands unless they've been there. Everyone take care!
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When you suffer from depression you need medication for it if left untreated it will only get worse if you had high blood pressure and did not take medication at some point one would have a stroke why is there such a stigma associated with medications for mental health. No taking a pill doesn't cure all but it is a good starting point and then once a person doesn't feel so depressed then they can begin to make changes such as exercising or eating happy foods but when you feel that hopeless and helpless just getting out of bed in the morning can be a big accomplishment hang in there and know that others feel your pain
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My favorite doctor, Dr. Gregor, has a whole series of videos on how foods we eat can improve mood. Here's one: http://nutritionfacts.org/video/human-neurotransmitters-in-plants/ Some foods and herbs do better in double-blind studies than medications, without the possible side effects of pharmaceuticals. Dr. Gregor includes all of the supporting scientific studies under the "Sources Cited" tab so you can read for yourself. Do a search for depression on the site and you'll find a lot of videos about how plants can help you feel better. Truly "food as medicine". He's not selling anything other than the idea that a plant-based diet can heal or improve many of our current ills.
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Hah, no, but now I can tell you what foods cheer me up! and I'm not nuts, they really are finding that a bad diet is depressing. Anything with coumestrol is absolutely primo (hops*, apricots, alfalfa (but I can't eat that any more since I started reacting to canavanine) and maybe a little in celery and bluberries); dairy, especially whey protein - there is something very good in the lactalbumin fraction of that, good fats and good antioxidants, as well as a properly managed dose of dark chocolate. Believe it or not you can find low fat chocolate and even have a full meal of chocolate, which does seem to work nearly as well as Prozac. And then there is also exercise and hot tubbing which both work wonders. I've learned to take care of myself, the hard way. I have a horrendous family history for depression and anxiety, but I have been able to stay off SSRIs for many years now. That last time I did need the medication, I was prescribed fluoxetine and even a low dose was a bit of a weird experience - it worked almost right away and I had quite a "don't worry be happy" feeling that was a little unnatural. But I think it got my neurotransmitters back in order quickly and for that I was grateful. I suspect my co-workers were too. Few things are worse than being in an awful mood with no energy, putting on the best face you can, and having someone accuse you of making them feel bad because you aren't perky over an early breakfast, when you're also Not A Morning Person...well, that's another story.

*Yes, there is medical as well as theological truth in Benjamin Franklin's assertion that "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." My dad would be proud of me for remembering that.
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Vstefans, were you cured when you got the protean out of your diet?
(pun intended)
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