I'm scared I might have to deal with my own dementia. What are your thoughts?

I had a psychology professor in college that explained it like this:

If you forget where you put your keys, that’s forgetfulness.

If you forget what keys DO, that’s Alzheimers.

I Thank each and everyone who has committed on my question! You all do not know how you put my mind at ease. I'm educating myself about dementia because of my mom. I'm learning more and more about vascular dementia because that is what my mom has.. Thank you all so much for the encouragement and helpful advice!

at 71 i am having slight memory problems--cant remember names when i want to but they come to me later. my doctor told me to exercise my mind---doing puzzles, etc.

Try not to compare your memory to your husband's memory.
If my sister relates something she remembers from growing up, it is so totally different from what I recall, that I wonder if we grew up in the same home.
People remember different aspects of the same thing, and what is important to them.

Do you know the story of the men asked to identify "what it is", blind-folded?
Each feeling for a different part of an elephant, and describing it. No one knew it was an elephant by their description, and they could not guess what it was.

Are you in the age of menopause?

You know, if my hands tremble, my mind will sometimes think about Parkinson’s disease. I have seen my mom’s tremors for so long.

Meds help but it is a progressive disease.

I think it is natural for you to think about dementia because you have witnessed it up close.

I've been having to reread pages for my entire life. I always thought I had ADD but it was never diagnosed. I admire the fact that most people can retain what they've read in just one reading.

Predicting who will or will not get any form of dementia is neither an exact science nor even an educated guess. So far, this is what we know. Familial Alzheimer's Dementia is quite rare. FAD accounts for only about 2-3% of all AD cases and is caused by what are known as deterministic genes. Having one of these genes will result in early onset AD. Your mother is 74. She did not have one of these genes, nor do you. There are also risk genes which increase the risk of AD, but are not the cause. The risk gene for AD is APOE4. If your parents passed one or two of these to you, your risk is increased. However, not everyone with the APOE4 gene develops AD, and people without the gene can develop AD. So as someone has already posted, it's a “crapshoot”!

I think in the back of all of our minds, we all ask “will I get It?'. That's an unanswerable question. Your lapse in memory is probably just that. Dementia is more than memory lapses. Google “dementia” and read some of the results. At this point, try not to think about your chances of getting any dementia, just live your life. If you are concerned, have your PCP screen you for dementia.

You are more likely to be suffering from acute anxiety. That is what this sounds like. Forgetting things in that case is normal. Time to worry when you are storing the butter in your underwear drawer, and your underwear in the freezer.
Do consider, if you are concerned, approaching you GP and asking for a baseline neuro-psyc exam. You will feel better.

Dementia is inherited BUT you are not guaranteed to inherit it. In other words, a child has a chance of inheriting "the family nose" but won't necessarily. Out of several offspring, some may get it from their parents, or none of them may have gotten it. Same with dementia. It's a DNA crapshoot. At 50 you could be having menopause brain.

Nothing you're talking about really sounds like dementia. Dementia (at least vascular dementia like my mother has, so it's what's I know) started with Mom asking the same question a couple of times in an hour, then asking the same question immediately after asking the question the first time. She eventually forgot things the way they happened, not whether they happened or not. For example, she thinks she's in her late teens or early 20s most of the time, thinks she's married to her high school sweetheart, but also sort of acknowledges she's in her 90s. Her reality is just not where it should be.

Dementia as I've seen it is not so much about forgetting specific events or times but just rather more like a return to a certain childlike level of cognizance. Sure, we all walk into a room and forget why we did it, but that's more because the task you though about in another room didn't translate to the room you were actually going to do it in, if that makes sense. It's a very common thing, regardless of the person's age, and it isn't dementia. Dementia is more like going to get something out of the cupboard and forgetting what the cupboard is for.

I think we all obsess a bit about our own futures as we see our loved ones struggling in their battles with dementia. I'd advise trying to worry less about the what-ifs of the future and living for today. I hope that this time watching and caring for my mother is much like childbirth and that I'll forget the pain in time.

Keep your brain active; do crossword puzzles and word games, listen to music, learn a new musical instrument (it's said to be THE best way to ward off dementia) and things like that. There's no saying you 'will' get dementia just b/c your parent has it, so try not to worry about something that may or may not happen. Draw a clock showing 3:15; if you can do that, your executive brain function is NOT compromised & you're doing fine! The EB function is like the conductor of the orchestra; if it is compromised, the rest of the orchestra doesn't have a clue WHAT to do. That's when you'd start putting the keys in the freezer or the groceries in the dresser drawer, for instance. If you start doing things like that, THEN it's time to worry & see the doctor.

Simple memory issues go along with aging for all of us. I talk with my sister in law about it all the time and we compare notes. I'm 63 & she's 61; we have similar memory problems. I went to Kaiser last week to pick up a prescription and to get a blood test. When I got home, DH said "how did the blood test go?" I had forgotten to give blood. UGH. I don't feel that I'm getting dementia.........just not paying close attention to what I'm doing!

In the meantime, it's a good idea to draw up a living will and write down your wishes for your future care if you DO become incapacitated in any way, God forbid. DNRs and the like, whether you want feeding tubes or life support, and how you want your care handled in general. That's always a good idea so your wishes can be honored, one way or another.

I'm 57, and am interested (more than frightened) to note that sometimes it takes me longer than it used to to retrieve information from "storage," is one way to put it. I am learning to be patient and not stress over it. The seventh labour of Hercules will come to me in the morning if I sleep well on it.

If you believe that your memory has always been a bit unreliable, I would suspect that the problem is not dementia but inattention. Scatter-brained, so-called "forgetful" people were generally not concentrating in the first place, so it's little wonder that the information didn't stick. Tip: if you need or want to read something that for whatever reason is not going in, try reading it aloud to yourself.

But just think on this: the more time and energy you spend scaring yourself about future possibilities, the less you'll be able to remember where you left the car keys. Don't worry until you can't remember what the car keys are for, is the classic advice.

My Mother entered MC a few months ago. She is 79. I suspect that she could have been diagnosed years ago.

I am 57. I am also concerned. I figure that I have 20 years until I am in the same place as my mother. Anything longer than that will be a bonus.

Since there is nothing that I can do at this point, I have decided to become as educated as I can on a subject that is of great interest to me while I can. For me, it is The Bible. I study for at least 1.5 hours a day. It may be another subject for you. I want to make as many memories of this subject as I can. The possibilities are endless. It’s so exiting to learn new things!

Regarding reading-I am a retired teacher. Comprehension, true comprehension, may take repeated re-reading. This is normal. Google “Close reading”. It may put your mind at ease.

Give yourself the freedom of not worrying about what you can’t control. Plan for your retirement. Read on this forum, and take advantage of the wisdom of those who have walked before us.

Best wishes