Youngest brother has been indoctrinated into a Religious Cult. How do I inform youngest that our mom has removed him from all inheritance or do we just wait until Mom passes when he thinks he is getting his share?
Your being POA means you have a FIDUCIARY LEGAL DUTY not to be discussing your parent's business with family. Period. This isn't your decision. You stay quiet. You should not be telling ANYONE anything about the will. Unless you are appointed executor this holds true when the parent dies and you have no further business other than to hand over your POA records to the Executor.
So, if you are the executor on passing of parent, you wait. In fact, this is PRIVATE business of the PARENT that only the EXECUTOR should know. Often even the executor doesn't know, and only the attorney who makes the will knows. This should not be for discussion among the family at all, it is the parent's private business. When the will is read hopefully it is WELL written by an attorney in that attorney should make language concerning WHY the child was disinherited. For instance: "I have purposely excluded my son, Norman Bigalow, from inheriting any money from me or my estate because he has joined a religious cult, and I do not trust in his judgement as concerns money" or "I hereby disinherit my son Norman from any inheritance for private and personal reasons of my own". Otherwise the son may file suit after the will is read claiming that the parent MEANT to put his name in and somehow it didn't happen.
Again, this isn't family gossip nor information to be spread around anywhere including to the disinherited child. The parent may or may not have told said child. That is up to the parent. The executor will handle the will when the parent has passed. He is free then to let the child know of his own suspicions as to why he wasn't included, if the child even asks. Those who do stand to inherit as beneficiaries will be notified according to the laws of your state.
Agree with what others here have said. I have POA for everything, am also conservator of my mother's person (meaning for her physical care; attorney said financial was not needed due to already having POA and would have less hassles) as well as am trustee of my mom's trust and executor of her will, which is in her trust. That said, it is your mom's right to do what she wants as far as who inherits what and she can change her mind anytime. I would not tell the heir anything at this point.
Personally (and it is just my opinion so can be taken or rejected, and I'm aware you didn't ask for opinions) I think it is not great anytime a parent decides to disinherit a child because of their personal choices, whether it be being involved in a cult or not being financially responsible, etc. She could always provide an allowance for them to be held in a trust established upon the death of the parent, much like you'd do that for a minor child - I know a person whose parent did precisely that and it was a positive way of handling the situation. Regardless of whether a parent agrees about the child's choices, they're still their child and heir and too often we hear about parent's holding this over their child's head, which might be well-intentioned but can also be cruel manipulation. When a parent leaves a child out of their will, it is like the parent's final punishment for that child, without remedy.
My brother was estranged from the entire family. He crapped on EVERYONE - several wives, his son, my younger brother, me, his nephews (MY sons), and my parents... My Dad was the last person to stay in touch, until he too disinherited my brother, with the constant lying, cheating, stealing over the years. Final straw for my Dad, though, was brother threatening to kill him. Disinheritance by both parents was just, and protected the two remaining children from having to deal with a mentally disturbed, hateful human being.
Mom could easily change the will back. My mom and dad did this, excluding, then including my OB and YS, both of whom robbed Mom & Dad blind while they were alive. It was sickening.
In the end, mom's final will gave YS her 'full share', while still owing mom $60K. OB had passed and mom opted to not give OB's kids his portion. He owed mom and dad close to $200K.
As a final slap in the face to me, she had added a handwritten 'codicil' to her will that I was to pay the estate $2500 before the will was disbursed. I have to say, I don't know what that was about, and it hurt a lot. Luckily, I knew about before she died, so I had a couple years to digest this.
YB , who was the executor, simply destroyed this 'codicil' and gave me my inheritance. As I knew she didn't really want me to have it, I gifted mine to my YB who took care of mom in his home for a long time.
Wills are not the place to put old unresolved issues and think that 'teaches' the kid a lesson. To this day, IDK what that $2500 was FOR.
I had forgotten about that---you know, it still stings a little. Other than YB with whom she lived, I was her secondary CG and did a LOT for her. Not enough, I guess, to actually be an 'inheritor'. That's why I gave my inheritance away. She obviously didn't want me to have it.
Wow, this is stunning. I had no idea someone could obligate another person like this in their will! Or maybe they can't, if it was handwritten she must have done this on her own. Creative legal work?
I'd be hurt too. My mother informed me that I'm to be the executor of her will, and I'm to serve without compensation. That seemed like a slap in the face after all the hours of work DH and I put in on his parents' estate (you bet we took the pittance of compensation we were allowed on that one). Thankfully, she has already downsized and sold her home to move to an IL apartment so at least it won't be so bad.
I agree with Alva. This is not your information to divulge. Actually, no one needs to tell a POA or Executor what is in their Will. Its private and better left to the Executor to deal with after the principle dies. At that time Probate requires that all beneficiaries and interested parties be made aware that the Will has been filed sending a copy of the Will along or saying available upon request. Once on file, its public knowledge.
You POA is not in effect until Mom is found incompetent to make informed decisions. I had immediate with Mom and I took over nothing or made decisions for her until I had to. She asked me to take over her bills. Its a tool not a control.
So you don't inform your brother. Your not Executor until Mom passes and Probate has excepted you as Executor. You then will get a Short Certificate allowing you to handle Moms estate. Until then, you can handle nothing. I hope Moms lawyer made the Will un-contestable. That brother was mentioned and told the reason why he was left out.
POA is not personal representative or executor of the will. That is the person who will be charged with informing all devisees and heirs of their legacy when the will is probated. If you are POA now, that expires at the death of the individual for whom you have power of attorney. The minute the individual's death is reported--when there is a death certificate filed--you will lose access to all accounts for which you are POA and all real property. Then the executor or personal rep--same, different states use different language for this--will be in charge of the will. If that is also you, well, then is when this gets discussed. If it is not you, then it is off your plate [perhaps conveniently in this case].
That is a hill I would wait to die on personally. If you know that is really what your mother wants and does not intend to change her mind - it is likely safest to keep that bit of information to yourself until the will is executed. At which point it can't be undone (unless it is contested, but that takes quite a bit of work, whereas pretending to come back to the fold or manipulating mom are a much easier proposition).
But are you POA, or are you the executor of the will? Or are you both? Because as POA you have nothing to do with the will/inheritance. POA ends when your mother passes. Executor responsibilities begin when the will is executed.
Unless you are appointed executor this holds true when the parent dies and you have no further business other than to hand over your POA records to the Executor.
So, if you are the executor on passing of parent, you wait. In fact, this is PRIVATE business of the PARENT that only the EXECUTOR should know. Often even the executor doesn't know, and only the attorney who makes the will knows. This should not be for discussion among the family at all, it is the parent's private business.
When the will is read hopefully it is WELL written by an attorney in that attorney should make language concerning WHY the child was disinherited. For instance: "I have purposely excluded my son, Norman Bigalow, from inheriting any money from me or my estate because he has joined a religious cult, and I do not trust in his judgement as concerns money" or "I hereby disinherit my son Norman from any inheritance for private and personal reasons of my own".
Otherwise the son may file suit after the will is read claiming that the parent MEANT to put his name in and somehow it didn't happen.
Again, this isn't family gossip nor information to be spread around anywhere including to the disinherited child. The parent may or may not have told said child. That is up to the parent. The executor will handle the will when the parent has passed. He is free then to let the child know of his own suspicions as to why he wasn't included, if the child even asks. Those who do stand to inherit as beneficiaries will be notified according to the laws of your state.
I'm in that boat, also, and have decided not to inform anyone until mom's passing. At that time the attorney will notify siblings.
Personally (and it is just my opinion so can be taken or rejected, and I'm aware you didn't ask for opinions) I think it is not great anytime a parent decides to disinherit a child because of their personal choices, whether it be being involved in a cult or not being financially responsible, etc. She could always provide an allowance for them to be held in a trust established upon the death of the parent, much like you'd do that for a minor child - I know a person whose parent did precisely that and it was a positive way of handling the situation. Regardless of whether a parent agrees about the child's choices, they're still their child and heir and too often we hear about parent's holding this over their child's head, which might be well-intentioned but can also be cruel manipulation. When a parent leaves a child out of their will, it is like the parent's final punishment for that child, without remedy.
Mom could easily change the will back. My mom and dad did this, excluding, then including my OB and YS, both of whom robbed Mom & Dad blind while they were alive. It was sickening.
In the end, mom's final will gave YS her 'full share', while still owing mom $60K. OB had passed and mom opted to not give OB's kids his portion. He owed mom and dad close to $200K.
As a final slap in the face to me, she had added a handwritten 'codicil' to her will that I was to pay the estate $2500 before the will was disbursed. I have to say, I don't know what that was about, and it hurt a lot. Luckily, I knew about before she died, so I had a couple years to digest this.
YB , who was the executor, simply destroyed this 'codicil' and gave me my inheritance. As I knew she didn't really want me to have it, I gifted mine to my YB who took care of mom in his home for a long time.
Wills are not the place to put old unresolved issues and think that 'teaches' the kid a lesson. To this day, IDK what that $2500 was FOR.
I had forgotten about that---you know, it still stings a little. Other than YB with whom she lived, I was her secondary CG and did a LOT for her. Not enough, I guess, to actually be an 'inheritor'. That's why I gave my inheritance away. She obviously didn't want me to have it.
I'd be hurt too. My mother informed me that I'm to be the executor of her will, and I'm to serve without compensation. That seemed like a slap in the face after all the hours of work DH and I put in on his parents' estate (you bet we took the pittance of compensation we were allowed on that one). Thankfully, she has already downsized and sold her home to move to an IL apartment so at least it won't be so bad.
You POA is not in effect until Mom is found incompetent to make informed decisions. I had immediate with Mom and I took over nothing or made decisions for her until I had to. She asked me to take over her bills. Its a tool not a control.
So you don't inform your brother. Your not Executor until Mom passes and Probate has excepted you as Executor. You then will get a Short Certificate allowing you to handle Moms estate. Until then, you can handle nothing. I hope Moms lawyer made the Will
un-contestable. That brother was mentioned and told the reason why he was left out.
But are you POA, or are you the executor of the will? Or are you both? Because as POA you have nothing to do with the will/inheritance. POA ends when your mother passes. Executor responsibilities begin when the will is executed.
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