Sometimes I feel like I'm mourning the loss of my young adulthood. I don't resent my mother because this isn't her fault, but sometimes I feel jealous of other friends who have parents in fine health and who don't have a clue what it's like to be in charge of their own parent's well-being. Any advice from someone going through a similar situation would be much appreciated.
Im mid-30s, so a bit older than you but still younger than anyone else I have ever heard of in this situation. But yeah, 27 is crazy young to have this responsibility.
Im not the main caregiver for my parent though. They are now in a memory care facility with severe alzheimers.
I understand what you mean about other people. I am jealous of other peoples families. Mind you, my family has been riddled with dysfunction since I was a young child, so this jealousy of other families is nothing new. This is just the latest in a long line of issues.
I have never had a good relationship with the parent at all, so I do not have much desire to be much involved. So I choose not to take much responsibility for anything as the parent never took any responsibility for me. But your situation may be different..
I am pleased that there has been a memory care facility available. I never could have handled being the primary caregiver. It may be an idea to get some familiarity with memory care facility options so that you can get prepared to make the transition to that next step as seamless as possible.
Is your other parent not able to be the primary caregiver?
I wish you all the best and hope you can get as much support for yourself as possible,
Second is to know your caregiving capacity. Know when to say I need help with this, plan for the future. You're going to need time off. Finding outside help, home care, adult day care, and to even start looking at care facilities for when that time comes. Remember, caring for her doesn't necessarily mean keeping her in the home forever, it means providing the appropriate care she needs, wherever that may be. And try not to compare your life to others because you're right, they don't have a clue.
I really recommend respite, a sitter for her, as much as possible so you can still go out and be with friends and have a life outside of caregiving. It will help you recharge.
I also miss my mom when I see a mom and daughter together.
Been a full time care giver for 7 years.
I understand missing my life.
I advise that you should hire a professional caregiver to help her at home. Or consider placement in a memory care place. Get some legal stuff in place before placement.
Wish you the best