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I'm now 18 years old and my mother left me without money and a real place where I can live, she basically ruined my life for years and now pretends like nothing ever happened. I'd take one of these jobs where they include a place to live but moving costs money and she won't give me any. I can't even find a job right now because of the VIRUS, and because I live in a small town far away from any big city. I have nobody I could talk to so I thought I'd ask here. I'm so lost, why my own mother treats me like a stranger?

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Hi again,

I'm really sorry that you feel so lost and I don't know why your mother treats you the way she does. Actually when I was your age and younger my Mom (who I take care of now) didn't treat me so well. She constantly kicked me out, did horrible things to me (would buy me clothes and then take scissors and cut them up, and lots more). Now I'm 63 and many years ago I learned how to forgive her because I realized that her own mother treated her badly and my Mom did the best she could. I started to drink because of all the stress from my family. My older sister would cut her wrists which was really scary. Yet I survived it all even with my drinking (I am a sober recovering alcoholic for 35 years now).

Anyway, maybe Social Assistance would help? From the same website I posted before it states the below information: (you have nothing to lose my contacting them. They are also on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mrpipsRP/ )

CONTACT
Ministry’s helpline
+48222500108
Open on working days at 8:15-16:15

The social assistance constitutes an institution of the state social policy aimed at supporting persons and families in overcoming difficult life situations with which they are not able to cope by using own possibilities and rights.

The social assistance supports persons and families in efforts aimed at satisfying their basic needs and enables them to live in decent conditions. It also allows preventing difficult life situations supporting them in becoming independent, as well as in integration in the environment.

The social assistance supports persons and families financially, materially and in a form of services. The social assistance system financially supports persons and families with low incomes and those deprived of income. 

The Ministry establishes the social assistance policy. It stipulates the directions of measures, prepares solutions, develops standards and monitors implementation thereof. 

The Ministry develops governmental and departmental support programmes for persons and families at the risk of social exclusion and programmes of active support forms for selected categories of persons from groups of special risk, including, in particular persons experiencing poverty. It develops and improves standards of services provided in social assistance organisational units, in social employment entities and environment services standards, as well as monitors the process of implementation thereof.

Information on the publication of the document
Last updated on: 15.01.2020 12:46 administrator gov.pl
First published on: 29.07.2019 15:16 Biuro Promocji footer
Ministry of Family, Labour and Social Policy

ADDRESS
Nowogrodzka 1/3/5
00-513 Warsaw
NIP 5262895101
Regon 015725935

CONTACT: Ministry’s helpline
+48222500108
Open on working days at 8:15-16:15

SOCIAL MEDIA:
https://www.facebook.com/mrpipsRP/

Best to you, Jenna (I do care!)
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to JennaRose
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https://www.gov.pl/web/family/shelters-underway-for-homeless-people-complete-with-care-services

You need to contact and talk to someone who can guide you and give you advice. 

I hope this helps a bit,
Jenna
THIS SOUNDS LIKE GOOD ADVICE. CHECK YOUR LIBRARY, SOMETIMES PEOPLE PASTE THINGS THERE TOO.

List your:
assets
skills ie: computer, social, gardening, architecture, graphic arts, best school course,
knowledge
bikes, books, skateboards, skis, snowboard, music,
WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO? Hospital staff may have numbers for you,
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Reply to MAYDAY
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Tablebutable Jun 2, 2020
There's no jobs in my town or I would have already applied. It's a really small town in a rural area. Without permanent residence in Poland you can't join the army, or the firefighters for that matter. The closest city is really far away. I don't speak polish really well and I don't know how or where to ask for help.
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Is there any kind of schooling you can do or a trade school? Do you have any siblings? Do you have any relatives on dad's side or mom's side? Do you have a best friend? Do you have any aunts uncles. Can you see about what it takes to become a fireman?
Our town is under curfew. City shuts down at 6pm. Had to go to store, the poor man is explaing to me he hates what this protest is changing things, all over again. He couldt get home on time, trains stopped, nothing going into LA. he slept in a port a potty. :( Wish I could take him home, but the curfew..
Hang In There, Pray. it seems to help. If you have social services, talk to them. Start applying for any job you see on the internet or paper.Hopefully one will pop up. I know, but it's a start. Greocery stores seem to need more people here. Good luck.Our prayers are with you
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Reply to MAYDAY
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What does it mean when you say you "have no real place to live?"

Where are you staying? Are you near a beach? Where is your mother?

Sometimes, with enough information, we can help you work this out. You did not sell your phone, that is good. How do you keep it charged?
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Tablebutable Jun 2, 2020
@Sendhelp I'm still in my mother's boyfriend house, the alcoholic one which she had a baby with. I say no real place to live cause I can get kicked out whenever they want. I know nobody here and the linguistic barrier makes it even more difficult. My phone screen is cracked and nobody will buy it, I'm using the free Wi-Fi of the town. My brother has my same problems, so he can't help me. All of my family from my mother's side is either dead or bad, like they drink, do drugs, go to jail or are too tight a$$ to help me. I really don't know what to do, I feel like a ghost.
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Where is your brother?
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Reply to Sendhelp
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If you can keep your head when all about you   
   Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
   But make allowance for their doubting too;   
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
   Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
   And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   
   If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
   And treat those two impostors just the same;   
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
   Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
   And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
   And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
   And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
   To serve your turn long after they are gone,   
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
   Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   
   Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
   If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
   With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   
   And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
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Reply to Sendhelp
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Tablebutable--

If you are truly suicidal, take yourself to the closest hospital and see if you can be seen for this. Suicide is NOT the answer!!

I do not know anything about Poland or the healthcare system--but people care, they really do--even from half a world away.

Please come back and vent away. Someone will have an answer that will resonate with you and truly be helpful.

We CARE!!

((Hugs))
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Reply to Midkid58
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Hi Table, I see that you have posted here since you were 16 years old. From what I read about your mother she has been through a lot with your father (his death) drinking to self-medicate, etc. She can't help you, only you can help you.

You are 18 now and of course you want your mother's love and maybe that will happen in the future but it won't happen now because your mother is not herself from all that she has gone through. She is a different person compared to the mother you knew before your Dad died.

Acceptance if the first step in order for you to move forward. Accept that your Mom can not be there for you and start researching who CAN help you. You can do this okay?

I moved out when I was 18, had a full time job and got away from my family because I wanted to be independent. I understand that Poland and the U.S. are different but both countries have services to help a person if that person chooses to use the services available to you. You have a phone, start making calls.

That said, I took a quick look on the internet and there are resources that can help you. Right now all I found was this site in Poland:

https://www.gov.pl/web/family/shelters-underway-for-homeless-people-complete-with-care-services

You need to contact and talk to someone who can guide you and give you advice.

I hope this helps a bit,
Jenna
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Reply to JennaRose
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Tablebutable Jun 1, 2020
Those shelters won't give me the residence status which I need to find a job in this sh*t hole country. It is a loop that can't be stopped. The best I can do is to kill my self so maybe I will finally find peace.
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I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. You can go to Social Services. They can help you with many things, such as Medicaid and Food stamps. Also they can direct you to jobs open in your area and housing. I’ve never understood why parents treat their children so badly. Being a parent is hard, but it’s a choice you made. Our children are innocent and shouldn’t be made to suffer from their parents poor decisions but sadly they do. With Medicaid you will be able to see a dr and if meds will help your depression they will prescribe. The best advice is forget getting any help from your Mom, set your mind to what your goals are and show her you don’t need her help and go on to be the successful person you want to become. There are also college programs that include housing. Your future is just beginning, grab hold and SHINE!!
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Reply to Momsonlychild
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Tablebutable Jun 1, 2020
The problem is that I live in Poland and it is really hard to get anything done here especially if you're half Arabic like me. People treat me like I'm some foreigner that came here to spoil the system when in reality I'm a Polish citizen. Olive and darker complexion are all seen here as a sign of being a Muslim, which I'm not even one. I live in a cage that is open but that I can't live, everyday I feel like dying and giving up, people are so cold and reserved here unlike in Italy where I was born, but where I can't return because my mother f*cked up my documents and now it is impossible to get my Italian citizenship, it feels like apartheid and I'm even afraid to speak or look people in the eyes. I just want to move away and find whatever job but as I said before, my mother left me broke, and the nearest big city where I can find a job is really far away. I can't even join the army because I don't have a permanent residence, my mother moved here and left me to rot, I didn't even go to school and just been here rotting in the house for years, when I explain my story to people they never understand as it is so complicated even for my self. I really don't know what to do and the linguisitic barrier complicates things even more. English forums are the only place I can consult.
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