I love my mom but I am doing almost everything on my own.
She doesn’t listen when I tell her to wait until I can get someone to help.
yesterday it was a fire alarm battery.
Instead of letting me call a neighbor she called my sister then my sister yelled at me.
Mom just sat there. She picks at her skin and I lost it because she doesn’t know how much trouble I get into when she calls my sister.Then I get yelled at so I yell.
I am disabled and dealing with multiple problems myself and sometimes I lose it by yelling and screaming because she tells me I left a mess in the bathroom because I am behind on laundry.
She has some cognitive issues but she just sits all day and pulls her skin so I tried to make her get up.
I don’t think I want to hurt anyone because I love her but sometimes I don’t know what to do to keep her engaged and to stop calling my sister who has a husband who doesn’t like coming here.
No one comes here. We always have to accommodate others.
I'm feeling like the bad one.
I know yelling is bad. I know a slap is wrong but she doesn’t stop picking her skin.
Theres so much she could do but won’t.
I try everything but nothing works and she gets up at night because she is hungry.
How can we live in peace
She does forget I’m disabled.
There’s never enough time to do everything but I do love her enough that I will pay to get someone else to clean the house because my sister is warning me she’s going to throw everything out that means a lot to both my mom and me.
So I’m trying to please everyone and make them happy but I don’t like when people tell me they are going to come in and get rid of everything which is why I ask mom to help me before someone else takes over.
What should I do so I don’t get angry at everyone.
I hate when people say that they are going to come in my house and start throwing things out.
and no, hoarding is not a problem Theres just too much chaos
Any advice?
You have every right to be hurt and annoyed, even angry. Again, I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. I wish I had the perfect answer for you. I don’t. The best that I can say is that I feel she may do better in a facility. You certainly would do better with the monkey off your back.
Take care, hugs and let us know how you are doing. We care.
Has you mom assigned you as durable PoA? If not, this needs to happen right away before she has an "official" cognitive exam by a doc. If you need guidance with this process, go to legalzoom.com or rocketlegal.com to download the paperwork and learn about Power of Attorney. Once she grants you this authority, then lots can be done.
If you do not have PoA and she refuses, then that is a different path, most likely guardianship, to get her into a good, reputable and local facility where she will have 24/7 attention and you will get your life back on track. Let the forum know where this stands so that you can get the most helpful suggestions. Blessings!
Does she live in your home, or you in hers? Do you both share in household expenses/rent?
Why are the two of you living together? Why isn't your mother in a facility?