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But here is where it gets alittle frustrating. And here is where stuff starts to happen. I received a call that my 94 dad wasnt feeling well from a nieghbor. I drive 1400 miles to my parents only to find my dad smiling when i walked in. I was rehabbing my rental side of my twinplex ( i lived in one side and rented the other) due to a destuctiive tennant. But my dad had developed lung cancer and passed 2 months later. After the funeral my brothers just left . it was my mom and me all alone. She had just lost the love of her life of 70 yrs and they just left. They left both of us. I wondered how i could get back home to finish my rental apt and get the income from it because i still had a mortgage to pay. Well there was paperwork to be done for my mom. So i put my stuff aside for awhile so i thought
Several months pass and mom decided to rent the midwest house out and use the income to live on . we could always sell it if she needed the money. I am her sole caregiver and at that she was of sound mind . we thought for sure one of my siblings would come visit and enjoy the warm weather and i couldfinally get away and finish my income property. By this time my savings have dwindled. But they never came 1 yr to 2 and then 4 to five. During this time my mom helpedme with my mtg not all of it but just a bit but it became 3 months behind so my mom and i went to the apt and stay 5 weeks to finally get it rented.. My 2nd oldest brother lives 3 blocks away . no help again.. So my mom helped me with my mtg for a couple years not the whole amount just what i was short. It was her choice to do that. And both my parents chose me to be poa. And they left everything to me which is the two houses. And they are mad but i feel they disrespected my mom for all these years by not calling and they wait until she declines and is on hospice care and all of a sudden they want control.
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My parents decided that they wanted me to be the Poa. And Poa of health care ,living will. All the documents done by a qualified attorney. Their home they decided they wanted to add me to the deed like 8yrs ago. I said i didnt want my brothers to get mad so the attorney did a t.o.d. . my brothers have been absent for years at this time. Dad said im the only one that would stick with them. I was 7 yrs younger than my next brother and 20 yrs younger than my older 2 . Then a year later my dad said he wanted to just give me the vacation home because he knew that i did not know where i really wanted to live(sunshine or snow). So he contacted a attorney and did a trust on the sunshine home. Naming me sole trustee. I did feel he was being to generous. He did say that. I could do whatever i wanted to with them. He passed away before the trust was signed however my mom finished making it legal. But all along the way i was doing all the heavy duty lifting in the care of both my parents w/o any help from my siblings. They lived their life traveled and saved for retirement while i was driving to the eye dr for each parents cataracts surgery (8 appts).And only working 3 days on the weekends.
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Are your parents legal documents all in order - the will of your deceased dad, will and POA for finances and for medical re your mom? Does mom have an attorney, do you? They can try the guardianship route, but you could contest and line up all the people who say you have done a great job. The thing is, a guardian has to report financials, etc., to the judge. Not as if they have run of mom's money. You may be wise to consult an attorney if you can possible afford one. That might make them think you are not such easy pickings as they seem to think. Have you actually seen your parents' wills, so you know for sure where you stand?
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I am concerned that my brothers are ganging up on me conerning mom and a guardienship and it just started with her decline. We have hospice coming into the home she is having issues with swallowing , cognitive function and has been yelling out at night for last 7 months have tried many meds and drs witg no success. But they are determined to get control over her. She wants to stay in her home. Dr said removing her at this time could be catastrophic to her health. If my brothers go forward with attempting a guardienship what do i do. My mom dont rememyber them and they havent been here since my dads funeral 6 yrs ago. And i have probably 6 longtime caregivers of both my parents have written what heroic effort i have given both my parents
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Thanks for the answers. But i will add that i have taken care of both my parents . my father was 94 when he passed and my mom for 6yrs now total for caregiving over 12 yrs.. When my father passed my 3 older brothers were at the funeral and gone very early the next morning without a good bye. By noon i knew i was the chosen one and mom has been my joy for 6yrs. My parents made me poa .health power and even left me a personal care contract. But when my dad became ill my brother asked me to help because he had too much on his plate. I was 1400 miles away working on my rental which just had the destoyed my income property. I jumped in my car and drove 1400 miles. Little did i know my life would forever change.. Now my brother had access to my parents winter house in the sunshine state. So when my parents were north he told his teenage kids to go stay at their other house where parties were constantly on the weekend. He took advantage of my parents even had mom sign for a truck that was eventually repoed after 3 do overs my mom gave him.. Now mom has shown major decline a guardienship has been mentioned because they suddenly realized mom and dad decided that i was the only one that helped them and stood by them for any of their needs. Brothers no where to be found. They never called. I dialed the phone for mom and usually a 30 second or less phone call. Now that my mom has declined after many specialists and paaliative care people i was asked if i was open to hospice at home. My dad did tell me to keep them both out of a nh and keep them at home,a tall order for a single 40 yr . But they are my parents my everything . i could not have ask for better parents. So im all in until the end. Gave up my business and my personal life everything. The beach is 5 mins away havent been 10 yrs. My mom went from palliative care to hospice after 3 weeks. 2 hours after i signed the papers for hospice to come in to the house my oldest brother and his greedy wife show up looking at our lil dogs and trying to pick out which one they want. Im not sure what to do ? they are after moms assets because they know its all been left to me because my brothers abandoned both of us. Now they want equal shares of the houses left to me. Im not greedy and i dont entirely agree with what my parents did but my dad said they are for you do what you want with them. If your brothers had them they would throw you out in a blink. My finances are ruined. And i would share my parents 2 homes with my older brothers but they call me a grave robber and always think im still a little kid. But the biggest reward that my parents could give me
My brothers dont realize is they chose me because i wouldnt be influenced by greedy 2nd wives agendas and dad knew i would always be there.
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Mom assigned you. Unless there are real concerns about the care you are providing a judge most likely not overrule that. Get your ducks in a row by lining up doc, neighbors, other caregivers to testify that you are providing excellent care and watching out for mom's interests only, and get an attorney to represent mom at the hearing.
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What do your brothers hope to accomplish with guardianship? You certainly can go to court to the guardianship hearing and contest it, but if family are split, a public guardian might be appointed.
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