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She needs just a few things and is fairly independent. Light house work light cooking and a reminder to take meds and take a shower. She has early onset dementia. Very pleasant woman and likes to watch game shows all day.


The home is in West Haven, CT. Nice home quiet neighborhood off street parking. All utilities included.

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There was a story a few years ago about a couple in California who made this type of arrangement with a woman to be a live-in nanny and her payment would be free rent and meals. The nanny worked for about a week and then said she was sick and stayed in her room, watched TV and didn't do a damned thing, only came out and sat at the dinner table and ATE. They tried to evict her, but the law was on the side of the nanny. You could end up in this type of situation.
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Diandrea517's profile says she is looking after her mother, and this post is asking for someone to take care of her friend's mom...or is it?

Why are you doing this for a friend? Let the friend do the looking for herself. And you should know that FREE RENT isn't suitable pay for caregiving an elder with dementia.
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Countrymouse Jan 2019
Fair point - I hadn't thought she might have profiled her own mother instead and perhaps the friend's mother is in much better shape.
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I was wondering, vaguely, if this might conceivably suit a post-graduate student or someone like that. Then I looked at the profile:

"...83 years old, living at home with age-related decline, anxiety, arthritis, depression, hearing loss, incontinence, mobility problems, and sleep disorder."

Chuckle. The OP has got to be kidding, right?
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I think you should post your wards height and weight also. Medical diagnoses. Special diet requirements. Your homeowners policy language regarding injuries on property. Because someone will sue your azz off. And coming in here and posting this, they should.
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I am sorry, I do not understand how in this day and age anyone feels that free rent, not even meals is enough to compensate anyone for being on call 24/7. Looks like exploitation to me.

Where I live house cleaners are paid at at least $25.00 per hour if they are independent contractors. Personal Care Aids are paid more than that. Those who administer medication are paid even more.

Who is going to pay the health insurance for the employee? Who will pay the employer share benefits? Who will pay vacation pay? What will the employee live on? How will income tax be calculated and how can a person pay tax on a taxable benefit, if they receive no pay?

Oh and 'including' utilities is a benefit? How is the person supposed to afford vehicle expenses if they are not being paid a fair wage, so they can take advantage of the "off street parking"?
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You want me to cook, you want light cleaning (whose opinion of light cleaning, yours or mine?), you want me to help manage meds and ensure they are taken on time, you want me to help you remember to shower and you say I live here for free!

Yea, what was that?

You mean I am an unpaid slave or an indentured servant?

You may not realize but the wording of your post is as offensive as my reply.

What you are looking for is probably not going to happen, there is a lack of caregivers and anyone worth having around is not going to barter rent for services provided.

You and your friend should look at how much she can afford to pay on top of offering room and board as part of the compensation. Everything you list is what an assisted living facility provides and they can cost as much as 8k a month.

This is a terrible situation to be in but you are dealing with a vulnerable adult, that has a broken brain that is only going to need more and more care. While she is still able to understand what is going on, your friend should look into continuing care facilities and get mom set up while she can still make connections and feel like it is her home. It gets harder to implement change as the dementia progresses. Do her a favor and get her settled now.
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Wow, I remember several similar posts on here recently,, they did not end well. She will be available 24 hours a day? Or only have set hours,, so she can get a job/school,, and sleep at night? If it's on call 24 x 7,, good luck! Probably not going to happen. Unless as someone says its a retired person who gets an outside income and is basically homeless?
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You should probably look up what it costs per hour in your area for a live in caregiver. Figure in additional costs which would usually be higher on nights, weekends and holidays. Are you willing to provide workers comp? Insurance bennies? Do you have a 401k plan? Paid insurance for this unicorn? Pay social security? Do you require bonding? FBI background checks. No? You might rethink your plan.

Given cost of living in your state, I think memory care is what 12 to 15k per month?
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And what would they live on, as obviously they would not be able to work, unless you would only be interviewing pensioners.
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When you say early onset dementia, do you mean that this is a lady whose dementia has appeared at a younger than normal age, or do you mean that this is a lady in the early stages of dementia? It makes quite a difference: in the first, you're talking about a comparatively young person with an often aggressive form of the disease; in the second a person who is as yet not much affected.

But in either case, if the idea is that your friend will avoid paying wages for care services, I'm afraid it's probably a non-starter.
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There's an old adage that says you get what you pay for. Yes, there may be people who are willing to accept a rent free home in return for keeping an eye on things, but generally those people will either be very young and inexperienced in the ways of the world or very desperate to find a roof over their heads and are unlikely to give you what you are looking for (and would you really want to trust them to care for a vulnerable senior?). Not to mention the legal ramifications of tenancy and employment standards regulations for live in domestic workers.
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BlackHole Jan 2019
Amen.
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I think they need to be given more than just free rent since you expect them to do more things than just be a live in companion.
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