A very long story short, my grandma ended up needing multiple surgeries in 2014. In that time, her sister volunteered to stay with her to make sure that certain things were met and that she was okay. But instead of helping transition her to everyday life tasks, she didn't, and now she is literally forced to live with her after the house she was living in was sold by her step kids.
My mom and I are hardly in the know and when we try asking questions and finding out what is going on and how we can help, we're basically shut out of things and we're the last to find out when something is going on with her. She even takes it upon herself to take her to her doctor appointments and most of the time we weren't even told when they were and when we'd ask so we could be present, we'd get some runaround but this time I forced it out of them and I went with to the doctor.
Her sister got upset with me because I recommended an anti-depressant because my grandma doesn't talk much anymore like she used to but appears very lucid most of the time but her sister is enough to make anyone depressed after a period of time. But it's my fault that her treatment will cost more money apparently. I think it's because I'm the one who came up with something. I'm suppose to be a little child who doesn't know my butt hole from a hole in the ground despite being nearly 30. But the part that is more frustrating is my grandma's financial information. Because of the move, her mail is forwarded to her sister's address where she is staying and that includes bank statements. My mom is a joint owner on most of it except for a few things which means that my mom on her own can't stop the statements from going there. We do use some money to help pay certain expenses but my grandma's sister noses into her bank statements and comes up with these irrational ideas that someone out of state is taking money from the account even though we've stated many times that we're the ones making sure certain things are paid.
So the real question is, how the heck can we stop this from happening. We were told years ago that everything was "taken care of" but we have no idea who she even went through as far as lawyers go which is another thing that would be nice to find out. But we're concerned her sister is going to try and get money out of her account somehow since she's snowing grandma on how much she has, she has more than enough money to cover expenses and yet her sister is leading everyone to believe she only has a few hundred left at the most. I'm very suspicious of it. The problem is that my grandma can't get around much anymore and it's hard to get her away from her sister long enough to do anything. At the very least I've been documenting what is going on on paper and dating this stuff as evidence in case something happens. But I'm mostly concerned with the unauthorized access to bank statements and then pretending not to know how much she really has when I think she does since it's not that hard to read a bank statement. Any help or at least thoughts/similar experiences shared would be great. Her sister and grandma are both in their low 80s. There's a ton more stuff that goes along with this but this is the main two things I'm concerned about, bank statements and finding out how to obtain last wishes/will information that was supposedly all set about a decade ago.