Hello all, I am writing because I dont know what else to do. I am currently caring for my 71 year old mother who is on dialysis, received a liver transplant 7 years ago, has a rare form of cancer and is a stroke patient. She is lucid most days but suffers from what she herself calls "laziness and apathy". I have been caring for my mother since 2013 and she has been in steady decline since she arrived. I am suffering, myself, from a mystery connective tissue disease (says my rheumatologist) and taking care of my beautiful 2 year old son who has Down syndrome. I am overloaded to the very top of my endurance and physical/psychological/emotional ability. I have no help. My sister is in another state and unwilling to be a more active support. I just simply avoid the topic these dags because it only makes me exhausted emotionally to explain over and over again that I need help. This situation is too much and I'm feeling the burden these days more than others. My own health is declining. Im having memory problems, incontinence, head to toe pain everyday all day and anxiety and depression. I just dont know what to do anymore. Has anyone ever dealt with a situation like this? How did you come out of it. Im 37 years old and I'm missing out on the opportunity to be the best mother I can be to my son because I am so overwhelmed all the time. Please help...please.

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Respite costs money. With all Moms problems maybe Hospice. At least you would get an aide for an hour or two. The other thing is Medicaid.
Helpful Answer (1)

Oh my dear
I feel for you. Hang in there. See your mothers doctor and ask for respite. A short time without her would, may be, give you the time to evaluate your own health and situation. Get your mother assessed, as to what she )and yourself) need for health and safety. You need time for you and your little darling first. (listen to Countrymouse advise) If the authorities do not hear you asking for help, then shout for help.

Hugs and good luck

I had three young ones and my mother in law was draining me. I had to 'kick up a stink' to get help. BUT I got some.
Helpful Answer (5)

Hm. What does your rheumatologist have to say about your normal daily schedule in terms of how it might affect your condition? Or would it not be repeatable in polite society?

Your mother needs more support than an unqualified, untrained, unwell single person can give her.

Your lovely little boy needs the undivided attention of his mother.

You need to listen to and comply with the demands of your body.

So the situation you describe is terrible for everyone you most care about. You need to change it. For ideas, advice and resources, you can start by asking your own primary care physician, your local Area Agency on Aging, or your mother's primary care team. Get that ball rolling!
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Um, why isn't your mom in a facility where she can get the care she needs?
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