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Now I’m back to finding activities for him and other male residents to do bc most everything is geared towards the ladies. The activity director has quit that I had given all the ideas I had gotten from a lot of you. It’s really not my job to do. I would think they’d have all kinds of ideas or be able to reach out to other places to see what ideas they have. I guess we’ll see how it goes.
I'd like to thank everyone who has responded.
And no, mentioning guns will NOT scare me away. My Dad was a Hunter Safety Instructor and I have friends who LOVE to hunt. I am not fond of shooting a gun, but I do LOVE to fish and our family used to go to Lovewell(?) Dam years ago.
Several of the other people on this forum have a much better idea of how Medicare and Medicaid work than I do and I think that they can be of help to you. Please stay with the forum no matter what someone says. It is so hard to truly express ourselves with just words.
You might want to contact an Kansas attorney who is familiar with the Kansas Medicaid laws and requirements since Medicaid is a state-run organization. Contact the Kansas State Bar for a list of lawyers with Medicaid knowledge.
I think that your husband is in the best place that he can be in. Since he has dementia, he needs 24/7 care and you can not and will not be able to take care of him as well as they can at the care home. You might find that bringing him to his home every other day becomes too much for him to handle and you might want to limit the number of times that you take him to your home/house. Each time that your husband goes home and then goes back to the care home, his brain has to readjust and eventually the dementia is going to interfere with his ability to do that. Maybe bring items or photos that he likes to the care home and spend time with him there.
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I am glad that you have family in town who support you. Take care of yourself.
Could you clarify what you mean by “I can’t get a straight answer about how much I will be getting to live on”?
Medicaid has yet to tell me what if any it’s going to pay on his care at the care home. He has retirement too so I don’t know how it all works and when I ask I get “we’ve got to refigure the equation” SO I’m getting deeper in debt. There is no inheritance bc his kids have twisted him around so much financially that he has NOTHING. I think the dementia has been working on him longer than I actually noticed AND I feel bad for that. He’s a great husband and it’s hard seeing him like he is. The kids I know are jealous and I could tell you true stories of what they have done in the past 7 yrs for weeks nonstop. I just wake up daily thinking “I wonder what’s going to happen today!” I believe in God and know there is a reason for all of this happening the way it is but could I get a glimpse of why? Idk if I should be finding an attorney, try bringing him back home even tho I go get him every other day to spend some time at home and I just can’t do the physical care anymore OR what I should do. He seems fine down there but I know it feels like prison to him...I feel he is in the very best place for him. His kids won’t drive the 2 hrs it would take them to come visit with him or even call him with any regularity. I’m an “only” which sounds crazy bc I’m 51 yrs old but my parents live here in Sabetha and both of my kids have stayed close by bc that’s what we do...we’re a close knit family. My husband knew that there was no moving away when we met. He loves it up here being from a farm community he fit better up here...he was living in Kansas City when we met. He’s made my family and friends his family and friends bc his kids wrote him off when we got married. My kids treat him with respect bc they don’t know any other way. I know this has to hurt his kids knowing he’s up here doing holidays/bdays all together without them but I have tried and I mean I have tried to include them in everything but after being stabbed in the back so many times I just do what I can AND after they tried moving him behind my back I’ve thrown my hands up bc idk what to do. I have a dpoa for healthcare decisions with his middle dtr worded so we have to both agree to whatever medical decision we are doing...now tell me how that’ll ever work?! No living will. No dpoa for anything financial he just added my name to everything. I know now I should have done this differently but not much I can do about it now. No living will either. I’m trying to think of your questions as I’m typing so I’m sorry this is so random. This week I’m preparing for auction #2. He had been a gun dealer for years so I’ve been selling out as I can (I hope when I mention guns that doesn’t scare you away) I’ve got to be careful about saying I’m selling stuff bc of medicaid. I just don’t know what to do....ok I’ll stop and let your eyes readjust.
I really appreciate you getting back to me!!!
We want to help, however, we need more information so that we can give you appropriate suggestions and advice for your situation.
I know stress makes MS flare up. My cousin had it. So, why ru over ur head?