I'm in my early 60s, no wife, children, and my siblings live far away. I'm planning how to take care of me when I'm older. Suggestions?

If you haven't done so already, work out your will, and medical power of attorney so when your time comes, your wishes will be respected. My father also made his funeral arrangements in advance, which will take a lot of pressure off your next of kin. I don't like that he's so obsessed with death, but I realize he's doing it for my own good


If you feel you need assistance now, you can live in an assisted living facility. The degree to which they will care for you depends on the nature of the assisted facility you go to. Some are minimally invasive and just check on you. Others might fix meals and checking on you more times a day, and monitor if you're taking your meds

I would say that roomies of a similar age might be good idea as well as medical
alert bracelet and emergency response button if health is declining. At end of day
we just never know what will happen, but we're always safer and more independent around caring responsible people and with easily accessible health care and transportation.

I'm still in 50's but already thinking about how I'm going to approach things as I
age and lose mobility. Being in town, having roomies or close neighbors, getting
and staying in best possible shape. Downsizing like crazy and learning to live
simply has made me feel better prepared, but I def have a ways to go.

How to read the NYT former column, the new old age. You can get 10 articles free Per month, per browser. So if you have 3 browsers, you have some reading.😎

Hey Will, thanks for keeping these aging alone threads going.

NYT the new old age is no,longer, but the archives are great.i have taken care of my cremation plans, last year. In that time, and in setting up our mother's,it has gone up by a grand. 1k. If you are interested I can give pointers and tips.

Regarding downsizing, Just this week NYT has excellent article on 1/11/19 by Ronda Kayser, ”How to Sell, Donate, Recycle Stuff”.
Each category has links as to organizations websites that take stuff.
Some I’ve never been aware of, like JackRabbit - takes old used running shoes & PlanetAid - recycles clothing to create fabric. NYT is also doing a Tidy Home Challenge although you need to be a NYT subscriber.

One site that is not in the article article is Poshmark, which I think is an awesome legit site if you have vintage or last millennium accessories or well cared for clothing “name” or designer label. Item does not need to be a luxury item (Cartier Tank) but nicer unique like a Vera scarf (Neumann not Wang or Bradley). For Poshmark, item shot on your iPhone, download to app and goes into your virtual closet AND sold at price you set at 80% you/20% Poshmark. It’s not a reseller like RealReal or ThreadUp. & you don’t need dz+ of items like Etsy.

Also if you have kids or grandkids college & young 20’s age, let them “shop & take” from you. H&M gives 10% off per used clothing item. Our college kid got hundreds in trade at Buffalo Exchange for hubs old suits, ties, dress shoes. Menswear is apparently sought after.

Interesting post as there are several of us out there. My biggest fear is having a stroke or a fall and becoming impaired or disabled to the point I can no longer care for myself or work. I hope to work until my 70s if possible. I will have an end of life plan and savings in place so that my niece [POA] can easily put me in assisted living or a full care facility. Planning ahead and downsizing are so very important.

I would pay off debt (mortgage, loans, etc.) and start saving money more aggressively. It simplifies the financial picture. I would also downsize my belongings and get rid of items like tools, equipment for hobbies you no longer have, and things from childhood. I think it is a great suggestion to meet with an elder law attorney and they may be able to suggest someone who could step in and pay your bills if you become unable to or assist in other ways. Of course, they will withdraw an agreed upon payment from your assets for those services, but at least it will be in place when needed and you don't have to count on the good nature of others to step in. I would also consider moving into one of those graduated care communities after the age of 72 even if I am still in good health. Those are my plans as I think it is a fine line between knowing we are in need of help, and actually being too far gone to take needed action on our own behalf.

I have started to downsize. Getting rid of things I don't need. Right now, selling our house is not an option. Would take a big loss. But we realize there will come a time. Especially if my DH goes before me. Then I plan to move to an apt and that will depend on my age. Its so much easier for family to clean out an apt then a house they have to sell.

Yes, a lawyer, one versed in Medicaid and the needs of the elderly.

Will - you know having a spouse or kids doesn’t necessarily mean they will step up to deal with your health or your finances or even your Estate. This site often has posts from distant relatives who find their Aunties hubs has filed a non- support and the kids have fleeced their parents nest egg. Or kids live far away & have their own lives to live.

- Is there a nephew or niece? Or second cousin? You can google their social media to see what they are like. There might be one that is surprisingly so like you or that you admire them and that they could be a good match to be your dpoa & Executor.
- a bigger law firm will do guardianship in case of incapacity occurs. You may need to establish a Trust with all investments & assets titled to the trust to support the costs over time.
-if at all possible put off filing for SS till 70, unless you are really super low income / low amount paid into SS as that situation imo doesn’t matter much $ wise whether it’s 62, FRA of 65, or 70.
- downsize, really make getting rid of stuff your 5 year priority so you can live in under 1,000 sq ft. Cause eventually that what your IL apt will be or your space in a better AL. do eBay or Etsy or flat just donate stuff. If your church has a resale shoppe, perhaps go that route, they will love your stuff.
- does your church have a CCRC or other tiered living / care facility? The kind of place that goes from IL to AL to NH with hospice? Maybe not actually your church in your state but in another state? This is something that I was surprised folks did, like moved from New England to New Orleans to live in Woldenberg Village or Christwood, as they were aligned spiritually with the place and were over winters.

if you can, enlarge your circle of folks you know by
- getting a new hobby
- volunteer.
- travel. To keep this from getting with folks that are sketchy, perhaps do trips with your college or university alumni group. Even if you didn’t graduate, you can join. Yeah it costs more than the usual group tours, but I think you’d be surprised how much it expands your social circle. I was surprised that there were more single men than women or couples for my alumni events and not just for football meetups.

Plus you never ever know when Cupid’s arrow will strike.....💕

HappyWill, it is good that you are thinking ahead. I wish more people would do that.

I am a senior, also, so I had learned what not to do by watching my parents. My Mom refused to leave their multi-level house, refused caregivers, refused cleaning crews, yada, yada, yada. After my Mom passed, my Dad wanted to move into senior living and he really enjoyed being there. So, I am thinking along the same lines.

Downsizing is a good start. Live simple. Every trash day I try to find something from the past to throw out. Like last week, why on earth was I still keeping the bow I used for archery when I was a teen. The basement is scary, still a lot of things to go through. Eventually will call one of those 1-800-junk places.

I also got all my legal documents in order. Went to an "Elder Law Attorney" to update my Power of Attorney, and Will. Also it was recommended that I have a Medical Directive, and a Revocable Trust.

The Attorney will ask you who do you wish to "represent" you when you are unable to communicate your needs. For the Medical POA, the attorney wanted to have back-up names.... that wasn't easy since I had no children and was an only child. Sometimes the Attorney can be your POA, it depends on how State laws are written.