I'm haunted by watching my grandmother pass and I'm desperate for help. Any advice?

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It was a yr Jan 8,2015 and I have been in the house for 3 wks. She was like my mother. I'm 45 now. I moved in with her when I was 14 and even then when she wasn't sick I worried about her passing away. I was alone with her when she passed and she changed so much in the few minutes after she passed. Everyone else thought she looked good but I don't see that at all. My aunt said her spirit was gone.My cousin and my uncles wife stayed at the hospital that night where the kids didn't have to be there. 3 months later my cousin (like my sister) lost her 4 yr old son in a tragic accident. He lived a week then he was a organ donar. Everyone said mamaw wouldn't have been able to handle what happened to him and that's why God took her first. The people I'm closest to in my life are in so much pain. My dad is a caregiver for his wife and it breaks my heart. I want to help everyone but I need to get myself better but I have no clue how. Please help me!!!

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Can't help but note your aunt's remarks were incredibly selfish and not at all what you needed to hear. Why do so many families suck at this? You were brave, you were needed, you were there and Mamaw was not alone. That means so much. You will be granted peace. Give it time and keep praying.
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To the zookeeper..I wish I could look at it that way. My aunt told me the other day to look at it that I saved her from having to be there because she knew she couldn't handle being there when my mamaw passed. I have gotten wonderful advice on here and I want to thank all that took the time to answer me. I'm praying that God will give me peace about this.
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You have to develop a very strong faith ethic to work through this. If you have a good priest or cleryperson, seek their advice and counsel. Grieving Counselling only works if you have something in the next life to look forward to; otherwise, this is all pointless and just ends and that's it. I honestly don't know how people of no faith cope with death. Remember that you were there at one of the most important moments and that you were surrounded by the spirits of all the people your grandmother loved that came to greet her. I witnessed my dad's passing in 1995, and it was one of the most beautiful, incredible moments of my life because I could "feel" the presence of my dad's parents and siblings with us. I dreaded my father's death for a long time (he had cancer and suffered a long time) and thought I would be haunted by it, but found that by tapping into my own spirituality, I was able to turn that dread/fear into something wonderful.
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Grievance counselor, grievance counseling is helpful.
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First of all, you lost a parent. This is hard. Secondly it is very difficult to lose a child, no matter how you are related. My child was in preschool when another child lost life to menengitis. This happened over 10 years ago, it is still hard. Understand the Circle of Life. Lost my dad a number of years ago, and now I am watching Mom weather away. I will be an orphan soon. Nothing anyone says can prepare you for this. Do you have a church you belong to? I still talk to my dad. My dad was not a beliver but when he crossed over, he sent me signs..WALK, BREATH, TALK, LISTEN, VOLUNTEER, ASK LOCAL HOSPITAL IF THEY HAVE ANY DISCUSSIONS OR GRIEVANCE COUNSELING. My friend is a grievance counselor, ask your local hospital or doctor...
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Lisa I hope you are feeling better and have found some coping mechanisms…have you found any healthy ways to distract yourself from your feelings? Sometimes feelings get worse when we just sit and think about them…sometimes just getting some fresh air, calling a girlfriend or taking a bubble bath can help :) I know it doesn't solve anything but there's nothing that says you have to give up everything good in your life because others are in pain. It's ok to find ways to feel happier. I'm sure your Mamaw would've approved.
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Thank you amicable so much for showing me there's people here that can help and everyone that answered my question.
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I'm so glad you reached out to this community. My heart is with you, and everyone here is pulling for you. Sometimes these things can seem insurmountable, and sometimes just venting your feelings and garnering support from people who understand can really help you get through the rough patches. Life is such a circle, sometimes we're up, sometimes we're down, but the one thing you can count on is that things will change eventually. Yes, I agree that therapy would help a lot, and I understand that sometimes due to other commitments or lack of funds it seems impossible to find the time or money to do it. This is the next best thing, to me. Please know that we care, and please let us know how you're doing. Keep talking about your feelings… a lot of people here have been through a lot of the same things and it will help you to get it out and hear how other people have dealt with it. Medication can help, but it has it's issues too. I'm a big fan of talk therapy. Sending you a big hug :)
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My condolences. If ypu can not see a therapist, perhaps a support group. Try to do something to honor grandma. Plant a tree, be involved in something she supported....try to keep busy. Eventually life stabilizes
You and your family have been through a lot.
God bless and keep you
.
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LisaB14411, if you live in the States go to the HeathCare.gov and see if you can find some type of health insurance that you can afford. There is still open enrollment until the middle of February. At least check out the website and talk to someone about insurance.

That way with having your own health insurance you can take care of yourself in case you are called upon to care for someone else. You can't wish yourself to feel better.
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