Frustrating!! Husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 18 months ago. He's 66. He continues to work, but for only 1 more month.

Long story short...

My daughters and I notice personality changes these last couple of months. He has angry outbursts, don't know what will set it off. Lost interest in granddaughter 's sporting events (which before you couldn't keep him from). Lost his temper once with our dog, yelling at her and threatening (our dog could do wrong and she's his princess, he just worshipped her).

Had an incident of road rage...nobody was hurt or injured, it was because someone cut him off and flipped him the finger, so hubby decided to 'chase' him down the freeway. Cursing and yelling at a grandchild's sporting event. I feel like he is regressing to when he was in his 20's. He had a horrible temper then. He had mellowed over years. He feels he doesn't have Alzheimer's because he can remember things from years ago and from a couple of days ago. He totally has me scratching my head. BUT his personality is changing and he has some days where he's just a jerk!!!!! It's hard for me because I don't see a constant decline, it's a rollercoaster of progression. Highs and lows!!!!

I feel like he is great at hiding or he truly tries really hard to hide what's going on. There's days I want to go back to his doctor and say ' please show and tell me all the results again from his testing' because I could explain away his 'jerk behavior ' because he has Alzheimer's....or is he just a big jerk....

He choose not to do any meds at this time.

The doctor told us that hubby was about stage 4.

But I'm confused, because it seems more personality and cognitive decline, not memory.

Has or is anyone going through this or have some insight? Sorry for long post.


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Thanks everyone for your input and advice.
We did see an elder care attorney and took care of POA and Medical POA. He is able to work still because I truly feel it's because it's a very repetitious job. His neurologist didn't tell us what kind of Alzheimer's it was, just that the MRI showed he didn't have a stroke. My husband did ask the doctor how long did he think he'd have and the doctor explained to him that the average was 8yrs. but also told him it could be 20 yrs. The doctor said he thought it would be a slow decline based on that we had noticed signs or symptoms about 2 yrs before the diagnosis. Husband is in denial some days because he says he feels so good. Other days he'll say maybe the doctor was right. He won't go back to the doctor because he feels what for? He has his diagnosis and there's nothing he can do.( these are his words). When I look up the different stages and symptoms, he has a lil from all of them.
Its a big roller coaster ride...again there are days that are fine and normal, and boom new symptom.
I did talk to my PCP and she also told me to be prepared and to watch for the anger . .....I do really appreciate this forum, it let's me to talk to others in the same situation.
Helpful Answer (2)

I am so sorry that you are going through this. It is so difficult when our husbands are mean and nasty and have bouts of bad temper that are directed at us. My husband is 67 and has not been officially diagnosed with dementia at this point but is considered "borderline" by his neurologist and she wants to re-evaluate him every 6 months. It was his sudden personality change (as you described) as well as apparent memory and cognitive issues that made me talk with his PCP. I went into the appointment thinking he had ADD or a vitamin deficiency...I never imagined it could be dementia. Anyway, hid PCP put him on 5 MG of Lexapro a day to help with the anger, nastiness and bad temper. It has made all the difference in the world!!! No more anger and nastiness and my husband cam even focus more on tasks. Even he sees the positive changes due to the Lexapro. Is there and my way that your husband's doctor would prescribe him a low dose of something like Lexapro...if all other possible reasons (such as a UTI) for his personality change have been ruled out? I know I am not a doctor...I am just sharing what worked for my husband's personality change.
Helpful Answer (2)

(Usually during the early stages of) frontotemporal dementia, memory of recent events may be unaffected. However, there will be other changes.

A person with behavioural variant frontotemporal dementia may appear uncharacteristically selfish and unfeeling. They may behave rudely, or may seem more easily distracted. Other early symptoms may include loss of inhibition, ritualised behaviour (such as tapping or repeatedly walking the same route) or compulsions and a liking for sweet foods. It is much more likely for those around the person to be aware of these changes than the person is themselves.

Theres no steadfast rule - people go through the various stages - many in a similar fashion -but it just depends on the individual. 

Helpful Answer (2)

Kookie23, make an appointment with your hubby's primary doctor and have an Urinary Tract Infection test done. Such an infection in someone who is older can cause all types of symptom, such as yelling, cursing, etc. This infection can be treat with antibiotics.
Helpful Answer (2)

Stage 4 is quite advanced, and it sounds as though he is. Can you tell us a bit more of what kind of dementia the doctor feels he is dealing with. I think only the doctor can guide you in medications. Some may help the symptoms, but I do not know of any that help the disease and its progression. 66 is early onset, often the worst of the diagnoses. You say he is working? At what sort of job, because with stage 4 this is difficult to imagine. Early onset can progress with great rapidity, and at some point in the more violent manifestations can be quite dangerous. You honestly need full medical assessments and guidance now with specialty physicians and I hope you can access that. You need also to see an Elder Law Attorney and get in place the things you MUST HAVE, regarding POA and so on if you are able to get this done with his having enough cognition to do that. He may be unable to, in which case you are going to need the guardianship started. Your husband may require placement sooner rather than later due to danger to the family. Please see the MD and tell him EVERYTHING you are telling us and anything you haven't. You are going to need a good deal of help here, both legal and medical.
I am so sorry you are going through this. He is so young to have this happening. Please update and stick around on the forum. I am hoping there are others who have a more similar experience, and advice, than I do.
Helpful Answer (2)
worriedinCali Sep 2019
How do you know she doesn’t already have things in place & POAs?
Never apologize for an extended post. It’s easier to write advice if we have details and don’t have to guess about what might be going on.

It concerns me that your husband has anger issues that are so out of control he is engaging in Road Rage. One never knows if someone is armed and if he is doing things like this to strangers who annoy him, he’s taking the chance he could be attacked and injured or worse.

The first rule of Alzheimer's is that there are no rules. My father-in-law was just confused but always polite and soft-spoken even when hallucinating. But, your husband is obviously at the other end of the spectrum. It sounds like he is just not accepting his disease and is reacting to it with anger towards the world. He is most likely depressed. I am sorry that he is refusing medication as those can help. Have you asked him why? Has he spoken with his doctor (or have you) to research how medications could help him?

If you are able to reason with him, talk with him and explain how impossible this situation is becoming. You might want to have this conversation in the presence of his doctor as a neutral party. Your husband, as his disease progresses, may become violent. If this happens, you need immediately to call 911.
Helpful Answer (3)

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