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My mom who is in early late stage of Alzheimer’s has been in a memory care unit for 5 years. We moved her while she was still cognitive enough to be involved in this decision and the change and transition while hard, was do-able.


She is an “active” Alzheimer’s patient who seldom sits but is restless and busy. Usually, when I visit she begs me to take her home to her mom. She doesn’t always know who I am, but she knows I can take her places and I love her.


Recently, she has started going into other people’s rooms and going thru their things and refusing to leave when asked. She also helps herself to food that is on other’s plates. These behaviors have understandably triggered a lot of negative verbal comments by her fellow residents, but recently escalated into physical contact by another resident, which was reciprocated by my mom.


She is According to a geriatric psychiatric nurse (mental age 2-4 yrs) is being discharged from her memory care unit due to her behaviors


She is on Medicare and places to move her are extremely limited...She does not qualify for hospice yet. When and if a place is secured, it will be a skilled nursing facility and she will have a roommate.


I am dealing with extreme sorrow over this situation and trying to figure out how to help her transition to these abrupt and radical changes that are coming during this later stage in the disease.


Please if if you’ve been down this road, any help or support would be welcomed!

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There is no point arguing that she should stay where she is. They are done. If someone was physically hurting your Mom at her residence, you would want the same resolution. If they were to allow her a second chance, it would only be short-term. They want her to leave. Don’t make things worse for her (and for yourself) by fighting a battle that cannot be won.

Spend as much time with her as you can during this transition. She recognizes you and finds familiarity and comfort in your presence.

None of this is is your fault.
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Mikersgirl May 26, 2019
Thank you. I found some of the peace I need in your answer. It was a gift and I appreciate your taking the time to give it to me. 💝
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Have you asked about having your mom being sent to a senior behavioral setting or inpatient psychiatric facility so that they can trial her on meds? It seems like that might be worth a shot.

I'm so sorry tthat you are going through this terrible situation.
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Mom's memory care sometimes lets behaviors go too far and I've seen residents literally knocked to the floor by others

while still, mobile, mom eloped and put up a fight - we had to switch her meds - seroquel wasn't the right one
now that she's immobile, she still cusses and will pinch during diaper changes - we just roll her top up over her hands to slow her down a bit -

I have private caregivers with her during the day
- unfortunately, during certain stages, meds are the only thing that will keep them calm enough to handle

it is a very difficult situation to handle
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shad250 May 29, 2019
Entertainment for Memory care staff
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Oh bless you..just placed my mother with Alz in a AL and we requested the swab test that I understand many mental health physicians are doing and it gives the physicians an accurate measurement of which medications work best for their genetic makeup.. They have found the medication for for her and even though it is slow to build up, we are hoping that it works well in time. The exec director has said it has made a huge difference in other patients because if they are not on correct meds..it isnt going to work..just a thought..Good luck to you as this journey is soooo difficult.
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gladimhere May 26, 2019
Swab test? Never heard of it. And my mom had uncontrollable behavior problems.

Wow! Just wow CM! 😯😯

I tried the link, it did not work, but googled and found it. Thanks. Read it and it sounds as if a new test would be required for each medication. I imagine that eventually based on genetics that the test will determine which med will work for each patient. Wonder about insurance coverage for this type of testing.
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Be certain that is not FTD.
Alzheimer's does not cause aggression. That is Frontotemporal Dementia FTD or specifically Behavioral Variant FTD or bvFTD

FTD is frontal lobe. FTDdoes not respond to medications that target the brain, even melatonin or any sleep aids.
Alzheimer's meds have adverse and dangerous affects.
Your doctors probably are not aware.
My wife suddenly became and autistic 2 year old at age 53, in 2006. The doctors could not find a cause.
I have care for her at home since. I had to retire from my career in 2013, at age 62, to care for her.
Only by a chance phone call to a social worker who's husband had suffered many years with FTD, did we have a clue. This was 2015, 9 years after the onset.
The university doctors jumped on it and confirmed, after they had already administered crippling Alzheimer's meds.

Christy has to be watched 24/7. She is hyperactive, will bump into walls. She is enraged by restraint. She is hand fed and hydrated with a turkey baster continuously, all day, often while she is pacing, head hung, drooling from the Alzheimer's meds.

Alzheimer's, memory care care, behavioral facilities, cannot accept FTD, only most don't know it until they have the bad experience.
She had been rejected from day care for aggression. She beat up the staff, drew blood on the director.
She was also denied the university's acclaimed geri/psyche ward.
Christy is toileted every 2 hours.
UTIs are the worst enemy, Constipation is the next.
Entertaining, occupying her is the greatest daily challenge. Her empty brain is curious and trying to re-connect, but the foundations have been erase.
She is a lot of work, but she has value. The fleeting moments of recognition, the smiles and laughter are worth it.
We have learned the triggers and remedies.
It is no more challenge than responsibility for a toddler.
I can do this for many more years.

Research FTD
https://www.alz.org/professionals/healthcare-professionals/dementia-diagnosis/differential-diagnosis/differential_diagnosis_of_frontotemporal_dementia
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pamzimmrrt May 28, 2019
Alz does indeed cause aggression, with some people. I work in a neuro unit, and dealt with it with my father. It progressed differently with each person.
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I haven't been down that road. I do have a mother in AL. I do find her isolating more but this may be the path she wishes.

My question to you is if your mother is on medication and or if she might be helped even to a small degree with a possible change with it? I am sorry you are having to endure added stress with a situation that is so very difficult for those who are the ones left to look after aged loved ones.
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Yep!  There with you as I write this!  Only, my mom had a UTI at the time of her "elopement", attacking an employee and threatening to "break out every window in the place if I don't get to go back to my room!"  That was two months ago.  She went to a behavioral hospital, got her meds adjusted ( and the UTI addressed) and now she is in MC.  However, MANY OTHER THINGS have occurred since going to MC, so now I am looking at moving her to a different facility because her MC care is NOT like it should be, what is being charged for by the facility, and NOT acceptable to me as her Guardian and daughter.  So....now I am looking at other avenues to follow to find out how to address these things.  Several meetings have happened with the facility, and we are in negotiations as to continuance there, or move on.  I should know by this coming week what the outcome will be.  One thing is for sure.  If I can't help my mom directly at this point, it should be helpful to those people who stay behind who have NO advocate for them to try to make it better for them and those that follow them.   I am not the other residents' advocate by court appointment, but I am my mother's and don't take what is happening to my mother lightly.
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What's been done to banish the resident that started the fighting with your Mom in the first place? The facility isn't doing their job in keeping your Mom safe.
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Mikersgirl May 26, 2019
I have been told she is being discharged as well.
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My mom was in a memory care facility for a year and a half when she was told to leave. She was on hospice at the time. Mom's behaviors were uncontrollable. She was sent to a Geri psych unit several times for med adjustments. The changes made to her meds worked for awhile then she would again become uncontrollable. She was biting, hitting, kicking, you name it, a danger to herself and others. She once bit one of the hospice nurses.

Has mom recently been evaluated for hospice? That would bring in some additional help for her.

When mom was evicted, hospice recommended a smallish care home. All residents there had been kicked out of previous facilities. Hospice had recommended this place. Mom did better, the resident caregiver ratio was lower and it was cheaper then the memory care she was in.

These are impossible situations. Mom had to have private caregivers come in on and off for the entire two years of facility living. That was an additional charge on top of the facility fee.

My suggestion get her facility to request a Geri psych evaluation at a psych unit. Hope they can get her meds adjusted appropriately. And call a well reputed hospice or several of them to see what recommendation they would have on how best to deal with this and to ask if they would have any recommendations for where she could/should go now.
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Was she checked for a UTI? This wouldvexplain the behavior.

Looks like LTC is the next step. Once her money is gone, Medicaid could take over. I would also ask about meds.
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