I’m debating whether to take my mom home with me or put her into an assisted living. Advice?

San42756: If she goes into an assisted living, SHE will self pay with her own financials. When her funds run out, she will then apply for Medicaid and move into a skilled nursing facility.
However, your profile states that your mother suffers from dementia. As such, perhaps she requires a memory care facility.

You may be able to get an hour with an elder care attorney.
The ones charging $10,000 up front are charging for an entire document package-you might not need.

Read some legal articles here on AgingCare, get informed.

You might benefit from a consultation with a Geriatric Coordinator.

I think it depends on how well you would be able to monitor her care at home (if you work outside the home). IF you can get caregivers who are reliable, and you can interact with them sufficiently to feel comfortable with what they are doing with your Mom, then I would vote without ANY reservation that she remain at home with you. My sister, with ALZ, lived with us for almost 4 years. She spent about 3 weeks in a memory care facility towards the very end (before we brought her home again for 3 weeks of hospice care), and they were the WORST three weeks of those 4 years. She was in a small, 100% self-pay facility which, like many other facilities, is having trouble recruiting and retaining good staff. The older staff members were great but the younger ones were on their phones and watching TV with patients plopped in front of the TV with them. I looked long and hard and this was one of the best options in the area. I should have just kept her home and gotten 24 hour care rather than the 14 hour care, 7 days a week, I did have. But, of course, that is in hindsight. I had no idea that she would pass so soon after we made the placement. P.S. I still wonder if these two events were linked, i.e., whether my sister got the seizure meds she was supposed to get and at the right times!

Not sure what her financial situation is or yours but would you be able to move into your moms home? She could qualify for community medicaid(at home care) - there is a 2 yr lookback on assets and income has to be below a certain amount ie $900 something per month but you can do spend down which will allow her to spend the excess income on anything related to her care or home or wellbeing.....If you sell her home, then all that money will not be protected from medicaid but you could use it for montly ASL. I moved in with my 90 yr old mother 3 yrs ago to help her...its getting increasingly challenging but she has medicaid and when the time comes, will get home aides to help me....we are doing income spenddown. I still own my own apartment but it sits empty - perhaps you can rent your home?


Medicaid cannot take your home if you live in it and your home equity interest is under a specified value. In other words, it will not count towards Medicaid's asset limit, which in most states is $2,000. Home equity interest is the value of your home in which you outright own. and