My mother is only 66yrs old but has chronic ill health and mobility problems due to alcohol abuse and smoking. I have been staying with her for 6 months due to relocation and studying. she has always been somewhat narcissistic but recently her abuse has been awful and vile. She has started to be abusive and negative to me in front of people and last night turned the heating in the house off and shouting at me. I smile and say nothing but the next day she is smiling and asking if i would like to have dinner with her this evening. I feel angry; i know that if i mention it it will cause another round of abuse or victim mentality. I am being worn down by this and had to leave the house early this morning just to avoid her. i dont know what to do.
I so hope you have a job. That studying may need to be put on hold if u don't. From being on this forum I have come to the conclusion you never live with an alcoholic who is still drinking. After 6 months you find you can't live with her, then don't.
If your mother is not able to care for herself(which I'm guessing she actually is, as she lived by herself before you moved back)you call and report her to Adult Protective Services as a vulnerable adult living by herself, and then you get on with your life.
You are NOT responsible for your mother or her care, but you are responsible for your own health and well-being, so time to move out.
Do you feel confident that she is able to safely take care of herself? If so, just move out now. Don't have to tell her that it's because she's treating you like crap, but just that it's time for you to get back on your own and give her back her privacy, etc. Thanks for letting me stay here but time for a new place for you. Even if you have to rent a room in someone's house, do it. It'll be worth it to get away from her negativity.