Do any of you have a live in caregiver in your parent's home?
My mom has been in memory care since spring, but I'm contemplating hiring a close friend who has been a caregiver for many years to live in my mom's home to take care of her. My mom is moderate severe in her dementia. She is able to feed herself, walk, and is still sociable. She is incontinent and is beginning to fall though. She fell in the spring and again this month. She was very sore, but no broken bones.
I'm not sure if this is a good idea because I know mom's dementia will get worse, but my sibling would prefer for her to be at home. My mother is doing a lot better physically and socially than her counterparts at memory care. It bothers me a little because she doesn't have anyone to talk with, but it doesn't seem to bother her. She keeps herself busy.
It also bothers me a little that the caregivers have too many people to take care of, the ratio is 1 to 6. It seems like they have to hurry to keep up with all the residents, and sometimes don't have time to change mom or get her teeth in. I have to go ahead of time to get her ready before any friends come to visit because she might not have her teeth in.
I wonder sometimes what my mom would have wanted for herself, and know she wouldn't want my sibling and I to be stressing. We both have young families. I'm afraid moving mom home might be more stressful to deal with bills, taxes, insurance, paperwork, moving, and what if it doesn't work and have to move her back to memory care again.
What do you think? Have you ever had to make the decision between selling your parents home, and moving to memory care, or keeping them at home and hiring a live in caregiver? If you have hired a private live in caregiver, who do you go to to do the paperwork? Or, would it be best to keep mom where she is in memory care so everything is already taken care of especially for when she progresses?
Thank you for any advice!